


A Killer Amongst Them

by Danishartist



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Betrayal, Bottom Eren Yeager, Character Death, Gay, Gay Sex, Horror, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Partner Betrayal, Power Bottom Eren Yeager, Romance, Rough Sex, Survival Horror, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:27:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 54,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25413907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danishartist/pseuds/Danishartist
Summary: To celebrate their graduation, the large friend group all go on a weekend trip to Sasha's dad's cabin in the woods. It's a remote place with no cellphone signal, and a long drive to the nearest town. Everyone is excited to enjoy their time together since it will be the last time they'll see each other in a while.What they don't know is that it will be the last time they will ever see each other again.An AU horror/romance story where a group of fifteen friends goes away for a weekend and only a handful survives the terrors that await them. Who will die first? Who is the killer? And will they stick together to overcome the situation or turn on each other slowly as the fear eats away at their minds?Rated R for explicit sex scenes and death scenes.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 78
Kudos: 176





	1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This time I really wanted to try my way at a horror/romance story. I usually like to drag the romance out and build it up for many chapters, so it was fun for me to have Levi and Eren's romance come quicker this time around, so I could focus more on the actual story. 
> 
> The first chapter is a bit long since I had to introduce a lot of things, and set up the scenario. But there should be a veeeeery nice surprise waiting for you at chapter three that you can look forward to, so remember to bookmark the story! I'll be updating it 1-2 times a week, since a lot of the chapters are already finished. Chapter two will be out in two days!
> 
> I really hope you'll like it, and I'm looking forward to seeing your suggestions on who the killer could possibly be. It will probably surprise you, heh. I've prepared some fun and shocking plot twists, so enjoy!

Fifteen people in a small cabin in the woods. It was going to get cramped for sure, but at least it would be better than _this._ I shuffled in my seat to get more comfortable, but that wasn’t really going to happen any time soon.

“Stop poking me with your fucking elbow, Jaeger.” Reiner cursed, shoving my arm away. This monster of a man had of course decided to sit right in the middle of the backseat, so that Bertholt and I, who were sitting beside him, were getting squeezed up against the doors.

“Party. Karamu. Fiesta. FOREVER!” Sasha and Connie were screaming in unison, moving along with the music with their upper bodies. They were having a blast in front of us, listening to the Lionel Richie song. Of course they were, I wrinkled my nose in a dissatisfactory way as I stared out the window. It was all trees and dark green moss, and it had been for the last couple of miles.

“Why in god’s name is your dad’s cabin so far away?” I asked Sasha. She grinned, turning down the music. “The further into the woods, the bigger the amount of prey to hunt.” She explained. “My dad taught me to use a good ol’ fashioned bow up here when I was smaller. There’s lot of animals up here to practice on.”

Well, that was grim. I wasn’t a vegetarian or anything, but I wasn’t so keen on the thought of killing animals with my bare hands. Seemed a little extreme, but I knew that Sasha had always loved this kind of thing. The perfect huntress.

I rolled down the window and leaned out of it. I let out a sigh of relief. Sitting beside Reiner made me feel claustrophobic and the car ride had made me nauseous, so it was nice to get a change of pace. I looked back at the cars that were following us. The one behind us was filled with our other friends. Hanji was driving that one, with Levi sitting beside her. Erwin, Marco, and Jean were on the back seats, deep in conversation. My eyes scanned the car, but before I knew it, they were back on Levi in front. He had his arms crossed, looking out of the window with an annoyed look. I could see Hanji’s mouth moving vigorously and her head bobbing and I knew instantly that she was doing the exact same thing that Connie and Sasha were doing in our car. It was probably also the reason for Levi’s look.

He looked nice though. His grey button-up had been pressed and his hair was perfect as always. I could feel a tinge in my heart as I studied him. I still liked him, _I liked him too much_. Two years of college and I had never confessed to him. I had no one to blame but myself, but because he was always so distant and reserved, and I was a romantic by default who always searched for the perfect moment. But they had never happened because he was impossible to get close to. He only talked with Erwin and Hanji, and only hung out with us because they did. It was probably because they were a year older and had just finished their last year of college, and in his eyes, we were probably too immature for him.

Hanji had told me that she basically had to drag him along on this trip. It would be their last chance to hang out with all of us, since they had just graduated yesterday, and soon they would move on to bigger and better things.

My heart ached again. Levi wouldn’t be in my life anymore, and I knew I had no control over it, but it still stung. I never had a chance anyway, I kept telling myself, but I still felt defeated. Armin had kept urging me on, telling me that this trip was my last chance for something, _anything,_ to happen. But I wasn’t so sure about that. How could this trip be any different than all the other parties, days, and trips we had shared together? He would still act distant, stay in the background, not participate in the conversations. And it was impossible to start a natural conversation with him.

Hanji spotted my head and grinned, before suddenly opening both hers and Levi’s window as well. The wind swirled inside and immediately messed up both their hairs. I could distantly hear Levi turning to shout at her in annoyance, but she just laughed at him. He ran his hand through his hair as Hanji said something to him, and suddenly his head snapped forward and our eyes met. His eyes pierced through mine, and I immediately heard his voice in my head saying _what the fuck are you looking at, brat?_ My cheeks flushed and I quickly retreated back inside the car.

“Hey, watch it!” Reiner groaned as my shoulder crashed with his.

“S-Sorry,” I mumbled, as I rolled up the window again. How was it possible for such a simple thing to make me react this way? Love could do strange things to you, I supposed.

“We’re almost there!” Sasha suddenly exclaimed, and we all let out a sigh of relief.

* * *

When we got out of the car, we were all sweaty and tired. As I was getting our bags out of the car, the other cars parked beside us in the driveway.

Mikasa, Ymir, Krista, Annie, and Petra stumbled out of the other car, stretching their arms and legs. We had all been driving for about two hours by now, so everyone was tired and hungry.

“Let’s go inside and set up. I’ll show you the rooms!” Sasha exclaimed excitedly. She wasn’t tired _at all._ We all looked at her grumpily, before following her with our bags in tow.

We were in the middle of nowhere, but the house didn’t look like it at all. It was spacious and clean and there were a lot of windows to bring in the sunlight. It was a two-story house, with four bedrooms in total. Two of those bedrooms had double-sized beds, while the other two had two single beds each.

“What the hell, Sasha? There are only enough beds for half of us!” Jean groaned. He had taken off his shirt because of the heat and was waving a piece of paper in front of his face to cool down. Marco stood sheepishly at his right side, holding his free hand in his.

“I was thinking that since you’re the only couple, you can get one of the bedrooms for yourselves,” Sasha said, holding her hands up in defense. “And then Ymir, Krista, and Mikasa can share the other big bed. They’re tiny, so there should be enough room for all of them. Connie and I will take the sofa in the living room. Petra and Hanji can get one of the rooms, and Levi and Erwin can take the other room. Eren, Reiner, and Bertholt can take the attic. We have some mattresses up there. See? I’m so good at planning,” She grinned, slapping her hands together.

“The attic?” I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, and when Armin joins us he can sleep with you guys up there too.” She nodded excitedly.

I imagined a dusty, dark room full of cobwebs and smelly boxes that had been hidden up there for years, but I was surprised when we got up there. It was just as clean and spacious as the rest of the house, and it seemed more like a spare room than an attic. A lot of deer heads hanging on the walls, though, which creeped me out more than I would care to admit. I didn’t like the thought of sleeping up there, feeling their eyes staring at me.

Sasha helped us pull out the mattresses, and when we were done setting up our stuff, we headed downstairs again to join the others. Everyone had already finished unpacking and were gathered at the big dining table outside in the backyard, except for Levi and Erwin. I always noticed if Levi was in the same room as me or not. I couldn’t help it. The yard had an old swing set and a ping pong table, but nothing else seemed to occupy the vast space of the yard. Except for the big fireplace in the middle of it, surrounded by tree stumps that you could sit on.

“Your dad must be loaded!” Eren heard Krista say to Sasha as they were chopping up some vegetables at the table.

“It has actually been passed down through the family for generations. My great-great-grandparents built it a long-ass time ago, and since then every generation has done some work on it to keep it standing. I actually help build the swing set!” She grinned, pointing at it.

“If you built that thing, then there’s no chance I’m going near it. It’ll probably break even before I sit down on it,” Connie teased her, poking his finger in her stomach. She laughed and smacked her hand.

“If it breaks, it’s only because it couldn’t handle your fat ass!” That made several people around the table giggle.

“H-Hey!” Connie’s ears turned red.

I turned around and walked away, letting them have their fun. Just as I had gone to the open fireplace, Levi and Erwin came out on the terrace, deep in a hushed conversation. I stared at them as I sat down on one of the tree stumps, pretending to be admiring the old fireplace.

“Erwin, no – I’m not going to do anything, so just stop it already.” I could hear Levi growl at Erwin, as they placed themselves on the other side of the terrace to put some distance between them and the rest of the group. Luckily, they were standing closer to me for me to hear. They hadn’t spotted me yet either.

“You’ve already wasted enough time, Levi. Stop being so stubborn,” Erwin said in a gentle, yet reprimanding tone.

“I am not stubborn,” Levi answered stubbornly.

“Then prove it and just do it already. What do you have to lose at this point? You’re done with college anyways, so if it goes wrong, then –“

Levi’s eyes had lazily scanned the area while Erwin spoke until his eyes landed on me. We stared at each other for a moment before he turned back to Erwin and smacked his arm to interrupt him. “Shut up.”

Erwin finally saw me as well, before his mouth made a silent “ _Oh_ ,” and then they quickly moved over to the table to join the gang.

How embarrassing. Did they know I was listening? Not that I could understand the context of their words at all anyways. Something about Levi being stubborn and how he should do something. What should he do? I didn’t know the answer.

“We should make some dough. Then we could make twist bread over the fire,” Bertholt suddenly appeared from behind me.

“Twist bread? What’s that?” I questioned him.

“I think it’s a Scandinavian thing. My grandparents always made it when we were little. It’s just dough wrapped around the end of a stick and then roasted on the fire. You can eat it with ketchup.” Bertholt explained. I wasn’t particularly interested in food-related matters, so I just said, “You should bring it up with Sasha. I’m sure she’ll like that idea. “Bertholt nodded and hurried over to tell. I didn’t look back as I heard her squeal in excitement.

Not long after, my thoughts were interrupted yet again.

“Eren, dinner’s ready.” Mikasa made her way over to me. “Are you alright?”

I nodded quickly. I hadn’t confided in her about my feelings towards Levi, and I didn’t want to bring it up now. She probably knew anyway and just didn’t think it was her place to say anything. It was something I only talked with Armin out, not my sister. Besides, I knew she wouldn’t like hearing about it. She could be so overprotective sometimes.

I wish Armin were here.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” I nodded and followed her back to the others. They had spared no time in waiting and were already digging in, too hungry to care whether everyone was here. I grabbed a plate and sat down beside Mikasa and Marco. Everyone was talking and laughing, happy to finally be here after the long drive. Soon, the conversation steered towards our plans for the evening.

“Let’s go swimming in the river!” Connie exclaimed.

“We should explore the woods and try to scare each other.” Jean grinned.

“How about making a fire and roasting some marshmallows?” Petra said with a kind smile.

It didn’t take long for people to agree to the last one. No one wanted to go swimming in the cold water at night, or get scared in the dark, after all.

“Why do we always end up doing what the girls want?” Jean said grumpily. No one had liked his idea, but it was mostly the girls who had shot it down.

“It’s not our fault that the boys’ ideas are always stupid,” Annie spoke, which made all the girls chuckle. Even I let out a snicker, but that was mostly because Annie usually never said anything, but when she did, it was always straight shots at other people’s foolish comments.

“Oh, boo-hoo!” Jean threw his hands up in the air. “My idea wasn’t stupid! It’s only because you girls are too afraid to do it.” He blew raspberries at Annie, which gave her right eye a weird twitch. I placed my hand over my mouth not to let out a laugh. “Us guys are so much stronger than you girls anyways, we’d last much longer in the woods than you.”

“Wanna bet?” Annie had gotten up from her chair now, staring down at Jean with a way too serious facial expression. Everyone held their breath.

“Bring it on.”

We all looked at each other in silence before Petra let out a low cough and got up as well. “I have an idea. Since we have a fireplace with no wood, how about the two teams compete for who can get the most wood the quickest?”

Everyone seemed to like that idea. Annie and Jean began to pick out their teams, which ended up being Annie, Mikasa, Sasha, Krista, and Ymir, against Jean, Reiner, Connie, and Marco. And since the girls had one more on their team than the guys had, they ended up peer pressuring me to join as well.

I wasn’t really burning with passion to beat the girls, and I would certainly rather stay where Levi was, but the guys knew that I had a hard time saying no, so it didn’t take long before I caved in.

Sasha got out two axes and handed one to Jean.

“May the best woman win,” She stated and smirked at Jean. He sent her a glare that could kill.

“Okay, you have fifteen minutes starting …” Petra looked at her phone. “… Now!”

We hurried off into the woods, trying to light up our way with our phones. It had gotten dark pretty fast.

Jean chopped off branches and we carried them, along with other branches that were just lying on the ground. After some time he gave the axe to Marco, who wanted to try as well.

“Just hold it steady and do it in a quick sweep.” Marco did as Jean had shown him. “Perfect!” He smiled and planted a kiss on Marco’s cheek.

Marco blushed, though it wasn’t too visible in the dark, before turning around quickly to hand the branch to me. He was too eager though – as I reached over with my free hand to grab it, the axe accidentally grazed my arm.

I winced in pain but still managed to grab the piece of wood as if nothing had happened.

“Eren, oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Marco freaked out.

I had to tell him several times that I was okay, and even then he kept insisting that we should go back. I managed to convince them that we should continue and that it was really no big deal, which it wasn’t. The cut wasn’t that deep, and the axe had barely touched me.

When we returned, the girls weren’t back yet. Everyone else was already sitting around the fireplace, drinking beer, and having fun. We placed all our findings in a big pile before Petra ran over to us. Now it was her turn to freak out.

“Eren, Jesus Christ, what happened to you?” I looked down at my arm that was covered in dried-up blood.

“It looks a lot worse than it is,” I chuckled, amused at everyone’s dramatic reactions as they stared at me. “I should go find the medical kit,” I said as I began to head to the house. I knew very well that if Mikasa came back and saw this mess, she would be freaking out and all hell would break out, so it was best to not waste any time.

“I know where it is,” A voice came up from behind me.

“The what?” I asked, looking over my shoulder to see who was trying to keep up with me.

“The med kit,” Levi answered as he managed to get up by my side, his hands buried in his pockets as he looked ahead. My body kinda forgot how to properly function for a second as I managed to stumble on the flat surface, before gaining my composure again. Levi sent me a questioning look, but he didn’t comment on my awkward behavior.

“Oh, okay.” My ears turned red as I mimicked his behavior by placing my hands in my pockets as well. We went into the kitchen, where he made me sit as he went to get the kit. When he got back, I was sitting on a barstool, suddenly nervous and a little sweaty.

I hadn’t been alone with Levi like this before. This felt like a chance for me to talk with him, but what should I say? I stared at him as he wettened a piece of cloth and then went to stand right in front of me.

Could he hear my heartbeat? I swore it was deafening in my ears. He was _so close._ I felt dizzy.

He smelled good. What was that smell? I recognized it, but I couldn’t remember precisely what it was. Levi grabbed my arm and began cleaning it up silently. I was about to protest and tell him that I could do it myself, but then I was caught in another thought. He was touching me. His hands were smaller than mine, but they still felt strong. He held my arm firmly, but it still felt gentle to me.

“It’s too big for a plaster. I’ll have to use bandages instead,” He informed me, before pulling out the with gauze. I stared at him in silence as he worked. Locks of hair fell over his eyes as he focused on my arm, and I noticed that we were at the same height when I was stilling on this type of stool.

“So,” I began, trying hard to seem unbothered by his presence. “What are your plans after summer ends? Since you’ve graduated now and everything…”

Levi didn’t answer right away. He carefully folded the bandages around the wound until he was satisfied. Then he sealed it in place before looking up at me.

“I’ll try getting my Ph.D.” He answered as he brushed the locks of hair away from his eyes. When I wanted to answer him, I realized I had been holding my breath. _He was so close_.

“O-Oh… I thought you’d start working right away.” I looked into his eyes, trying to see what type of emotion they held, but he just stared back at me without care. People always said that the eyes were the windows to the soul, but it there was no window in Levi’s eyes, only a wall that didn’t reveal anything to my curiosity. “What kind of Ph.D. are you going to take?”

“Ph.D. in International Business,” He told me, his voice a bit softer now. He looked down and then let go of my arm, as if he had only now realized that he was still touching it. It felt cold immediately at the spot where his hand had been just seconds before, and I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Not only at the loss of touch, but at his words. International Business? Would that mean that he would be going overseas?

I decided to ask him as he began packing up the medkit.

“I’ll have to study in Sina, but we can choose to study for a semester in Europe. I’ll probably do that since it would be a good experience and look good on my resume.” He explained as he finished cleaning up. “Alright brat, enough questions about me. You’re done,” He said, giving my arm a gentle slap. I got up quickly.

“Thank you for helping me,” I said, hiding my nervousness as I sent him a smile. The side of his mouth twisted a little upwards in response, and honestly, that was more than I had expected from him. Levi never smiled. We looked at each other for a moment longer than what was usually natural, and it felt like he was hesitating to say something. Seconds passed before he cleared his throat.

“You’re welcome,” He said quickly, before heading outside again, not waiting for me to follow. Well, that was that. I had probably just imagined something. So why had it felt like a lost opportunity?


	2. Truth Or Dare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a ridiculous amount of fun writing this chapter. I felt like it was really important to give everyone a good time before I start killing them off, so I made them play truth or dare. Enjooooy ~

I stood there, dumbfounded for a second, before following after him. The girls had returned and were bickering with the guys about which pile of wood was bigger than the other.

“Stop arguing and just start the fire already,” Levi commanded as he sat down beside Erwin again. “Before my balls freeze off, goddammit.”

Petra laughed and grabbed a handful of wooden pieces. “The boss has spoken. Hurry up!”

Not long after, the fire was going strong, and everyone had huddled together. There weren’t enough tree stumps for everyone to sit on, so people had grabbed blankets and pillows to sit on as well. I had intentionally placed myself beside Hanji, who was sitting beside Levi, and Petra placed herself on my other side. She had brought some long iron sticks for us to put marshmallows on and roast them.

“We should play a game!” Marco had said innocently, which made Connie and Sasha immediately yell out semi-sexual suggestions with their mouths still full of sticky marshmallows and crackers.

“How about truth or dare?” Erwin suggested with a smirk. From the corner of my eye, I could see Levi shoving an elbow in his side, but Erwin seemed unfazed. He also seemed a little drunk, from the looks of it. An empty wine bottle lay in the grass in front of them, and he was already opening up another one.

“Alright, I’ll start.” Reiner cleared his throat. “Connie, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Have you ever had feelings for Sasha?”

Everyone broke out in a low “ _uuuuhhh”_ while Connie rolled his eyes. Everyone knew that they had been best friends since middle school, and practically followed each other everywhere they went, but we had always wondered whether there was more to it than just friendship.

“Of course not! Who would like this dummy?” He grinned before nudging Sasha’s arm. She pouted dramatically and gave him a shove. “Shut up, you idiot!”

Connie laughed, before quickly turning the attention away from them and onto Krista.

“Truth,” She mumbled, seemingly surprised that she had been asked so soon. Ymir rolled her eyes at her reaction.

“Is there someone here that you like?” Connie teased, wiggling his eyebrows. “And you have to say the truth! No lying!” He added.

“Um…” Krista placed her fingertips on her cheeks, trying to hide her embarrassment. “M-Maybe… More like a crush, though.”

The shared “ _uhhhh!”_ got a little louder this time, and she let out a squeal. “Okay, enough of that!” She said, her eyes focused at a burned piece of wood as if she couldn’t look anyone in the eyes. I felt sympathy for her – if I had been asked that question, would I have the courage to say yes? I wasn’t so sure.

She continued to ask Annie, who also chose truth.

“In your opinion, who is the sexiest person here?”

Annie looked around at everyone, before quickly making up her mind.

“Eren,” She stated, her face completely unbothered even when some of them started teasing her about her answer. I squirmed in my seat, my face turning slightly reddish by the compliment. Hanji grinned and poked my side.

“Someone’s going to be a heartbreaker this weekend,” She teased me.

“Don’t tease him,” Levi suddenly reprimanded her. I stared at him, but he averted my gaze and just turned back to Erwin as if nothing had happened. _That was odd_.

Hanji snickered as if she knew something that I didn’t. I turned my attention back to the rest of the group that was now discussing who was the most handsome. The other guys were clearly not agreeing with Annie’s conclusion and had taken it upon themselves to discuss what made someone sexy. Jean and Reiner had already taken their shirts off and were flexing their muscles.

“There’s something called too much muscle!” Jean bickered with Reiner, who then stated that Jean was just saying that because he was jealous.

“Truth or dare?” I tried to ignore the guys as I asked Hanji.

“Dare!” She exclaimed loudly, which made the others turn their attention back on us. I thought for a moment, before grinning. “Give Erwin a lapdance,” I dared her. Hanji jumped up, not even having to consider it, while Erwin was already protesting the decision.

Someone put on Don’t Cha by The Pussycat Dolls and everyone was now dying with laughter at the sight of Hanji grinding her ass up in Erwin’s red face. When it was over, Erwin and Hanji said cheers and drank some wine together to accept their new level of friendship, and then she placed herself between Erwin and Levi, pushing her way in between.

“Stop pushing,” Levi growled at her, but she just continued to make herself comfortable.

“Why don’t you just scoot over then? There’s plenty of space, see?” She pointed at the empty spot where she had been sitting just before. Right beside me. I looked at them as I felt my hands turning sweaty. Levi sighed in annoyance, before moving closer to me to give Hanji room.

“Oh, by the way! Give Eren this,” She handed Levi a newly-poured cup of wine. He looked at it, then looked at me. “How old are you again?” He raised an eyebrow. I was surprised by his mature behavior since I was the only one here who wasn’t holding a cup of alcohol in my hands, and some of these guys were younger than me.

“Everyone here is already drinking,” I replied, probably with a dumb expression on my face.

“So because everyone where is breaking the law, then you’re allowed to as well?” He looked at me with his piercing dark eyes, and I suddenly felt very small.

“I turned 21 in March.” I retorted, trying to reclaim my honor. Levi looked at me for a moment, probably trying to see if I was lying, and then handed me the cup without another word.

Shit. I shouldn’t have said anything. Stupid Eren.

“Heeeey Jeaaan!” Hanji exclaimed drunkenly. “Truth or dare?”

Jean grinned. “I’m not going to say dare, because I know you’re crazy enough to try making me do something really stupid. So truth!”

“Ah-ha!” Hanji took another sip of wine. “Then tell me what sex position you and Marco like doing the most?”

Marco blushed, but Jean didn’t seem bothered. He was actually looking rather cheerful like he actually wanted us to know. “It’s called the- the… What’s it called again?” Jean looked at Marco quizzically, before Marco managed to whisper, “The Bicycle,” Then he proceeded to hide his face with his hand.

“Oh yeah! The bicycle!” Jean was now grinning from ear to ear. Someone asked him what that meant, which made him jump up.

“It’s when person A is lying on their back, either on a table or the bed, and person B – aka me – is standing up and holding their legs up, and then –“ Jean proceeded to explain with his whole body, making obscene thrusting movements into the air. He made several people laugh and even more people blush.

“Okay, I think that’s enough for tonight.” Marco got up and took the hand of his _very_ drunk boyfriend.

“Noooo, I wanna stay!” Jean whined.

“You’ll thank me tomorrow when you don’t have a hangover,” Marco chuckled before proceeding to pull him towards the house.

“I think I’m going to head to bed too,” Mikasa stated. Ymir and Krista decided to go with her, and suddenly Bertholt went too.

It was just Annie, me, Levi, Hanji, Erwin, Connie, Sasha, Petra, and Reiner now. I took a sip of the wine, which tasted better than I thought, and looked around.

“Well, since Jean took off and it was his turn to ask, I’ll continue for him.” Erwin suddenly looked at me. “Eren, truth or dare?”

I felt very much on the spot, as all eyes averted to me. Even Levi’s.

“Um…” I wanted to play it safe and say truth, but something in Erwin’s eyes told me that choosing truth might have terrible consequences. “… Dare.”

Levi’s right eyebrow twitched slightly upwards as he looked at me, seemingly surprised at my answer.

“Alright, hm…” Erwin pretended to think, though it seemed like he already knew what he was going to challenge me on. “Kiss one of the people sitting next to you.”

“What?” Levi snapped immediately, staring at Erwin. It seemed like they had some kind of telepathic conversation only with their eyes, before Levi huffed out, “ _Tch_ ,” and then turned back to look at me.

I stared back and forth between him and Petra. Of course, I wanted to kiss Levi, that much I knew for sure, but he seemed so annoyed at the possibility of it being him, so that made my courage immediately burn out. On the other hand, I felt kind of bad kissing Petra. I had, of course, heard the rumors of how she had taken a liking to me, and whether or not it was just a simple crush that was over by now, or … Nevertheless, I didn’t want to get her hopes up either way.

“Um… Petra, Hanji told me once that you haven’t kissed anyone before. Is that right?” I whispered to her, making sure that no one heard.

Petra’s face became very red, very fast. She sent Hanji a deathly stare, before nodding and averting my eyes.

“That’s true…”

Okay, that did it then. I wasn’t going to steal her first kiss, and it was definitely a good explanation to have as to my decision.

“Sorry if you think it’s gross, but I’m not going to steal her first kiss, so – “ I turned my upper torso towards Levi, and leaned closer, my heart beating so loudly that I began to feel dizzy. “Sorry, I’m just going to do it quickly,” I mumbled nervously, before kissing him faster than I’ve ever kissed anyone before. Our lips barely touched.

“That’s not a real kiss!” Hanji protested. “Don’t kiss him like he’s your mother! Kiss him properly!” Erwin joined in, and soon it felt like everyone was pressuring me to do it again. I was blushing profusely, staring at Levi with a questioning look, like I was asking permission to kiss him again.

“Ugh. Just do it already so these idiots will shut the fuck up,” Levi growled at me, rolling his eyes. He grabbed my collar and yanked me forward, and before I knew it, our lips had crashed together. His lips felt warm against mine, and I could immediately taste the wine on his bottom lip. There was no chaste innocence now, it was more like I finally succumbed to my urges and kissed him like I truly wanted to. My mouth was insistent and ever-moving, and it was surprisingly easy to part his lips as my tongue slid over his bottom lip to taste the wine once more.

And then I remembered that there were seven people staring at us at the moment, and I pulled away quickly, cheeks red and fingertips numb. Levi took a deep breath, before looking at Erwin.

“Happy now?”

“Very much so,” Erwin grinned back.


	3. Time To Get Funky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to say much about this chapter... Other than that I'm sure you'll enjoy it, hehe

The game went on for about ten more minutes, but after the kiss, I couldn’t concentrate at all. I just kept drinking wine until my whole body was buzzing and I had to lay down on my back.

“Don’t mind me,” Eren chuckled when Petra asked him if he was okay. “I-I just need a minute,”

Honestly, it was hard to contain my excitement. It might have been the alcohol saying this, but I felt an incredible urge to jump around and scream excitedly like a little schoolgirl. It was embarrassing, I knew that, but I couldn’t help myself. I had kissed Levi, _kissed him_ , and it had felt so much better than I had imagined it would. For a moment I had forgotten how nervous I usually was around him, and I had been able to take control. It even seemed like Levi hadn’t been disgusted at me after it happened. I couldn’t tell if he had enjoyed it at all, but that was typical of Levi, to never let his emotions show, and that was fine with me.

I couldn’t have asked for a better night, and now I kinda just wanted to stay here like this, lying beside Levi, my lips still slightly swollen from the kiss, and my heart running wild.

I closed my eyes for what felt like just a second until someone nudged my shoulder and my eyes slowly opened again.

“H-Huh?” I mumbled, my hands sliding up through my hair as I blinked myself awake.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle that alcohol,” Someone sighed at my right side. I turned my head to stare at the person hovering over me. The dark outline slowly became more detailed, until I realized that it was Levi that was staring back at me.

“Wh-… Where is everyone?” I asked as I let out a yawn. My body was too tired to react how I’d normally react around Levi, and for now, I just wanted to stay comfortable. I could still feel the heat from the fire on my legs, so I couldn’t have been asleep for too long.

“They went inside. I told them that I would help you get to bed,” He answered with a sigh like it was an annoyance to have to help me. I felt a bit guilty.

“Sorry…”

He looked at me for a moment in silence, before shaking his head lightly. “It’s fine. The stars are out, so the view’s not that bad.” He was still looking at me when he said it though, and I caught myself thinking that maybe he didn’t only mean the stars. But then I shook it off – of course, he didn’t mean that he liked looking at me. Why would he?

I lifted my gaze to the stars instead and bit my bottom lip. Yeah, it certainly was a beautiful view. Levi and the stars – I was really indulging tonight, and I couldn’t help but feel lucky.

We stayed there in silence, enjoying the quiet night until Levi finally spoke up.

“Eren,” He said, gaining my attention once more. He wasn’t looking directly at me, but I still felt like he was watching me from the corner of his eye. “You shouldn’t assume things,”

“Huh?” I pushed my upper body off the ground, so I was leveled with him. “What do you mean?”

“Tch,” Levi rolled his eyes like he was irritated that he had to explain his words. “The kiss. You shouldn’t assume that Petra was the only one of your options that hadn’t kissed anyone before.”

I stared at him for what felt like a long time in confusion before it finally hit me what he meant.

“Wha–! You mean I stole your first kiss?”

“You didn’t _steal_ anything.” He rebuked sternly, before softening his tone. “Not that I care anyways.”

I rubbed my neck, embarrassed that I had assumed wrong. But he really couldn’t blame me for thinking that Levi probably had gotten plenty of action in college, or even more that. Well, he _could have,_ if he had wanted to. He was so desirable in my eyes, so of course, I had assumed that way.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “You would probably have preferred to have your first kiss with some cute girl instead of a guy like me. That must have sucked. I’m really sorry,”

Levi rolled his eyes again, before turning his head to look at me. Why did it suddenly feel like we were sitting much closer than before?

“There you go assuming things again.” He looked at me, but this time there was no wall in his eyes. They were projecting some type of conflicting emotion that I couldn’t quite figure out. It didn’t seem like Levi was so sure about it either. “Have I ever said that I preferred women?”

I tried to swallow the growing lump that was getting stuck in my throat. I could feel my whole body buzzing again, but this time it wasn’t because of the alcohol. The anticipation hung thick in the air as we looked at each other. None of us dared to break the intense eye contact – or was it because we couldn’t? It felt impossible to pull away from him. He was like a magnet, only drawing me closer.

“N-No, you haven’t…” I was about to continue to say that it was because he’s never actually said much, but then he interrupted me.

“Want to know what I prefer?”

I nodded slowly, holding my breath in a mixture of anticipation and anxiety.

“You,”

It felt like my whole world stopped for a second, as I needed time to digest this information. What? Did he prefer me? What was that supposed to mean? But it couldn’t possibly be… that he liked me. Could it?

Levi finally leaned back, visibly disappointed. Normally he held his emotions in like he was the Queen’s guard, but tonight he was showing them to me. It felt like he was doing it on purpose, like he could control what he wanted people to see. It was as if he saw emotions like a possible weakness, and now he had decided to share that with me. That just made it that much harder when he pulled away from me.

I wished I had had more time. More courage.

“I guess you don’t feel the same way. That’s fine, I just thought I’d let you know.” He took another sip of his drink and looked up at the stars once more. I bit down on my lip hard, trying to pull myself out of my paralyzed state. What the hell was I doing? He had basically confessed to me, so why the fact hadn’t I told him yet? There was nothing to be afraid of anymore. I didn’t have to fear rejection – now I just had to remove the rejection he was possibly feeling right now.

“I-I really like you, Levi.”

Fuck, that had been so hard to say. I had basically had to force the words out of my mouth. But then Levi’s eyes returned to mine, and it felt worth it.

“Then why don’t you do something about it, brat?”

Well, he didn’t have to say that twice. I grabbed his collar and pulled him close enough for our lips to meet once more. This time I was more prepared – more knowledgeable about how his lips moved against mine. I tilted my head as the kiss deepened and suddenly, I felt his hands around my waist. He was sliding his fingertips under the hem of my shirt and grazed my bare skin until I shuddered from the touch. His hands were cold against my skin, but it felt heavenly, nevertheless. I let out a sigh of pleasure against his lips which made him continue his movements upwards. His thumbs were making circles on the edges of my stomach as his other fingers grazed my back until he suddenly pulled me closer to him. I clumsily made my way onto his lap while not breaking contact with his lips, my hands shaking as I rested my arms around his neck.

My body was quick to react to his gentle touches, and it didn’t take long for me to get hot and bothered. I slowly ground my pants against his as I parted my lips slightly to let out a low moan. I could literally feel his lips widening in a smile, but when I pulled back to take a deep breath, his face had changed back again.

“Levi, I –“ Before I could finish my sentence, I was interrupted by a horrible sound from a distance. It had sounded like a high-pitched scream, but I couldn’t really guess what type of animal that could make that sound.

“What the hell…” Levi mumbled, before removing his hands from my skin entirely. “Let’s go inside.”

I nodded immediately and clumsily got up and gave him a hand as he did as well – though more elegantly that I had.

“I don’t want to, um…” I muttered, trying to figure out how to tell him that I didn’t just want to end it here. I wanted to continue, but that was too embarrassing to say out loud. It seemed like he knew exactly what I was thinking though, as he gave my hand a tight squeeze and said, “Erwin passed out in the bathroom, after puking up all the contents of his stomach. So, I probably have the room to myself for a few hours before he manages to get up and find his way back.”

He led me to his room silently, trying not to wake anybody up as we moved through the house. My heart was beating twice as hard as he finally closed the door behind me.

“Are you okay?” He asked with a hushed voice as he moved closer to me. I instinctively took a step back, but the back of my knees bumped into the edge of his bed and I sat down clumsily as I lost my footing.

“Um, y-yeah…” I stammered, embarrassed over the lack of control I had. He just chuckled at me, before leaning over my upper body.

“You won’t run away, will you?” He whispered in my ear, and I felt the excitement rush through my body as I felt his breath against my skin. I quickly shook my head. “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about this,”

“I can imagine,” He smirked at me, before grabbing my shirt and pulling it over my head. I pushed off my shoes while he did so, and my hands began to unbuckle my belt.

“Have you done this before?” I asked him as I unbuttoned his shirt. He slid his hands over my bare chest as I did so, licking his lips seductively in the process.

“A few times,”

“So, you’ve fucked people, but you haven’t kissed anyone before? How does that even work?” I asked him in a confused tone, as I removed the last button and slid his shirt off his shoulders.

“Fucking doesn’t have to include kissing, you know. Especially the drunken, messy type of fucking,” He retorted, before pushing my body down onto the bed to let me know that we were done talking for now. I couldn’t help feeling special as his lips found mine again, while his hands unbuttoned my pants and slid down over the bulge in my boxers. He wanted to kiss me, and that was all the confirmation I needed right now. I let out a moan as his thumb drew circles over the boxers, exactly were my forehead was. My hips instinctively shot up, and my hands desperately reached down to unbutton his pants as well.

The first time I had gay sex was in senior year of high school, and then throughout the first year of college. But after I had fallen for Levi, it had become harder for me to flirt and score people at the college dorm parties that I usually joined every weekend. It had therefore been over a year since I last had a good fuck, and it was clear that my body was craving it. I couldn’t blame my lower parts for reacting so quickly – they had been starving for too long after all.

“Touch me,” My words were muffled against his lips, but he had heard me because I soon felt his fingers slide down into my boxers and wrap themselves around my cock. In complete and utter excitement, I accidentally bit down on his bottom lip, which resulted in a low gasp from his side. It wasn’t so bad though – because I instantly knew that I wanted him to make more noises like that. My hands shoved down his tight pants as far as I could before they hungrily made their way down his boxers to touch his cock as well. He was hard as well – not that I was surprised, and I immediately started moving my hand up and down slowly, while the other hand went around to dig my nails into his ass before squeezing it. He let out a low groan and pulled back from my lips to gasp loudly.

“Eren, fuck, don’t.” He gasped, losing all control as my hand changed tempo. I grinned, loving the sight of him falling apart in front of me. “Don’t… get… cocky!” He managed to breathe out, before grabbing both my wrists and pulling them up over my head. He held them tightly in place, staring me with shiny eyes that reflected the moonlight. I felt how my heart got caught in my throat at the sight before me. He was still trying to regain his breath, and his face looked flushed and slightly sweaty. Locks of hair had fallen in front of his face, hiding most of his left eye, making him look _very_ hot.

I knew that I needed him inside of me, and it couldn’t happen fast enough. I tugged at my arms to get free from his grip, but he was still firmly holding me down. I let out a whine, before wriggling my hips to get out of my pants. “Take it off,” I said, my voice sounding impatient and needy. I didn’t mind – it only made him more aware of how much I wanted him, and that wasn’t so bad.

He chuckled at my reaction, before helping me and then himself out of our confining clothes. When we were both naked and completely vulnerable, I spread my legs for him and he slid in between them like he was the perfect fit.

I knew that we were both still drunk, but he still had the decency to remember that he should prepare me first. One, two, and then finally three, before I was writhing beneath him and begging for him to enter me, my arms clinging round his neck desperately.

He held his cock steady as he placed it at my entrance, and then slowly pushed it forward in one motion. It drew a long and deep moan from my lips as my nails clawed down into his back and my back curved to help him fit inside me.

“F-Feels good…” I panted heavily, my nails scratching over his neck as I winced.

“Are you sure?” He asked me, and I could hear the worry in his voice as he looked down at me. I opened my eyes when I realized that I had then squeezed shut. I looked up at him through hazy clouds and nodded slowly. “I don’t dislike the pain…” I answered honestly, before rolling my hips against him. It made him react exactly as I wanted, with a loud groan and a surprised expression on his face. It seemed like he finally understood what I wanted, because he soon began to move with a more aggressive speed. I knew that he was probably holding back because he didn’t want to hurt me, just like everyone else had done before, and even though it was nice that he wanted to be gentle, it wasn’t what I truly wanted.

“Harder!” I commanded him, and he replied by pulling out and shoving it roughly back inside of me. He grabbed my arms and pushed them back over my head like before. I loved how he took control of my body – so much that I soon felt like I was reaching the edge of pleasure. I squirmed under him, my head throwing back to let out a loud moan as my legs started to shake uncontrollably. My toes tightened as I came all over my stomach, without him even having to touch it.

“Eren, you’re tightening around me too much!” Levi said in a reprimanding tone, as his movements became shorter and quicker when he realized that he had trouble pulling out of me.

“Ah, j-just come inside already.” I pleaded, my whole body already starting to feel tired as a result of the intense orgasm I just had. But I still used the rest of my strength to try and keep him connected to me. He huffed, before leaning over and sliding his tongue inside my mouth. I let him, my eyes closing as we sloppily kissed while he sped up his thrusts.

When he came, he collapsed on top of me. It might have been because of the alcohol, or from the orgasm, but we fell asleep immediately after.

* * *

Marco let out a horrified scream as he felt the knife slice through his chest and stomach. He could feel the warmth of the blood spilling out, but the pain was blinding him. The person hovered over him, staring at his face as it became paler and paler.

“J-Jean… Help…” Was Marco’s last words before he fainted from the pain. They had gotten into an argument as they had headed to bed because Jean had been acting so crudely and Marco felt like he had embarrassed him. Of course, Jean was too drunk to understand Marco’s feelings, so he had excused himself by taking a walk to clear his head.

And as he lay there on the cold grass in the middle of the woods, guts, and blood spilling out of his stomach, piss and shit staining his pants, all he could think about were that he would never have the chance to see Jean again.

To kiss him and hold him in his arms.

To tell him that he loved him.

And most importantly, to warn him of the horrors to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my badly written smut. Or is it good? I honestly can't tell anymore. Well, I hoped you enjoyed it anyway!
> 
> What do you think of the first death scene? It was really short and served more to just set the mood for what's to come.


	4. Why Do You Even Like Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you think the smut writing is over? WELL SURPRISE

I let out a groan as a ray of sunshine made its way to my face. The birds were chirping excitedly to welcome the new day, but I just wanted to throw a blanket over my head and keep sleeping. My hands roamed around my surroundings for any sign of a blanket but found something else instead. Something warm and firm and slightly damp. My hands slid further down to find something a bit squishier, something that curved in a round way and that… My eyes shot open as I realized that I was squeezing someone’s ass.

“Well, good morning to you too,”

I looked down to see Levi looking up at me. He was lying on my chest, his hand under his chin so that it wouldn’t poke down into my skin.

I-I was touching Levi’s ass? His _bare ass_? I accidentally let out a mixture of confused sounds as my head tried to make sense of the situation. Levi just looked at me with a bored expression as he drew circles around my right nipple. “Stop freaking out. We just had sex, that’s all.”

“That’s not just-!” I protested weakly before a shiver was sent through my body when his fingertip grazed my nipple. “Please don’t make it sound like it was nothing!”

“Oh? Then what was it?”

“I-It was…” I hesitated, before letting out a frustrated groan. “It was something! I don’t quite remember everything from yesterday, b-but…” I bit my bottom lip, averting my eyes in embarrassment over my next words. “It meant something to me.”

“Good.” Levi stated immediately after, before pushing his body up so his face was closer to mine. “It meant something to me too, Jaeger.”

I swallowed loudly at the small distance between us. He looked absolutely mesmerizing in the morning light, and my body reacted in the most natural way. Levi’s left eyebrow shot up in surprise, but the reaction was quickly suppressed when his hips rolled gently against mine.

“Someone’s easy to wake up,” He teased me, as he was clearly referring to a very specific part of me that I had no control over. Not when he was so close to me, clearly.

“I-I can’t help it,” I panted lightly, before placing an arm over the lower half of my face to hide my embarrassment.

“Hmm?” Levi hummed lazily, as his fingertips ran up and down my chest, sending shivers through my spine. “I like how you were yesterday. You always seem so unsure of yourself, but as soon as I got you into bed, you completely changed. You even had the nerve to boss me around,” Levi let out a low chuckle as he thought back on last night. I tried to remember, but it was still too blurry. I needed a lot of water and coffee before I could remember clearly what had really happened.

“I really wanna see that part of you again…” He had leaned up to whisper that in my ear, his tongue sliding over the edge of my earlobe. I shivered and curved my spine slightly, just enough to gain some friction between our bodies. “Tell me you want it,” He continued pressing me, teasing me, pushing all my buttons.

My fingers reached up to slide their way through his messy bed hair, and for a moment I indulged in the simple gesture of being able to touch him like this. Then I replied back, “I want it.”

* * *

It didn’t take him long to prepare me, and he had soon pushed his way inside yet again. I was a little sore from the night before, but to me, it didn’t really matter. Levi grabbed the back of my knees and pushed my legs closer to my chest. I could see how he was staring down, completely fascinated by whatever he had his eyes on. And then it hit me that he was staring at how my ass was taking him in every time he moved. I tried to ignore my flaming embarrassment, but it was hard. We were fucking in broad daylight after all, and he could see _everything_. Yesterday was something else because we were drunk and messy and in the dark. Of course, it had been easier for me to boss him around and say embarrassing things. But now I was too distracted by everything else to be able to focus on the pleasure.

“D-Don’t look…” I pleaded with a slight pant. I didn’t like this position – I felt too exposed.

“But I want to see all of you,” He insisted, not planning on changing it any time soon. I let out a frustrated noise and closed my eyes. I wished he would flip me onto my knees, that way I would be able to hide all the vulnerable parts I had for a while. This felt way too overwhelming, to have the person I liked see all of my insecurities so fast. I knew that we had known each other for almost two years, but he didn’t truly _know_ me and neither did I with him. So then how could he be so comfortable right now?

I squinted my eyes open to look at him. Well, it was obviously because he was the one in control. He wasn’t in any vulnerable position at all – I clenched my teeth as I decided what to do. My legs moved before I could finish the thought. I placed my foot on his chest and gave a stern push to disconnect our bodies.

“What the hell, Eren?” Levi protested, looking at me with a very confused expression on his face.

“Didn’t you say you liked it when I was bossy?” I retorted as I quickly sat up and crawled over and up into his lap. I made myself comfortable, before moving my hand down to grab his dick. I gave it a few gentle tugs, before guiding it up to my entrance. I rolled my hips down and wiggled them slightly to help him reach all the way inside. I could feel how his whole body tensed up against mine as I reached the base.

“You like that?” I hummed, enjoying this new position much more than the last. It was his turn to be pressed against the wall, with me hovering over him as I moved my body in exactly the speed I wanted to.

“What’s not to like?” Levi reached up to grab a chunk of my hair, pulling my head down towards his. He kissed me passionately, albeit a bit messy. Caught up in the pleasures that were running wild through my whole body, I kissed him back as I placed my hands on the back of his neck. Before I knew it, my body was moving faster and faster, always hungry for more.

“Fuck, I’m about to cum…” Levi panted against my lips. My head was too hazy to form a decent answer, so I just nodded vigorously.

When he came inside, I let out a cry of pleasure. I had always enjoyed that part a lot, but it was certainly a lot better when it was Levi filling me up and not some random dude. My body shook with intensity and I reached down to give myself a few quick tugs to make myself come as well. I clung to him for as long as possible as I rode out my orgasm, before collapsing with my arms still draped around him to keep me from falling anywhere.

Levi wrapped his arms around me and caressed my back gently in silence. We stayed like that for a while, with his head against the wall, and my face buried in the creak of his neck.

“Why do you like me?” I finally asked him.

“I could ask you the same thing,”

What an annoying answer. Though I didn’t really mind answering.

“I’ve always felt physically attracted to you, ever since I first saw you. Armin had become friends with Petra, I remember, and she invited us over to a party at her dorm, where you were as well. I think it was in October, not long after we started college…” I struggled to think back, tried to remember everything clearly. “I remember thinking that you were really hot. I have a thing for, umm, what’s it called again… Dominance? I don’t know. But when I saw you, I immediately thought that I wouldn’t mind letting you dominate me,” I chuckled at my own words. I probably sounded really stupid right now. “But it was in January that I really fell for you. Like, really hard. Since I always looked at you when we were at the same gatherings and events, I managed to notice a lot of the small things you did. Even though you didn’t show it, you were always so kind. I mean, I don’t remember what you did, but I just remember thinking that you had more to offer than just good looks.” I shrugged. “There. That’s why I like you. Now you tell me,” I demanded. I really wanted to know why and how he liked me, because he had never shown any sort of advancing moves towards me – and trust me, I would know.

Levi let out a sigh, probably not as comfortable talking about it as I was. But he owed me an explanation now, and he knew it.

“Well, I did notice you pretty fast, but that was because you were always staring at me, and it was kind of annoying. I thought you looked pretty damn sexy, but still, you were nothing more than an immature brat. I didn’t really want to waste my time on you because I doubted that you’d be able to keep the conversation interesting. I know now that that was just me being a prick full of prejudice.” Levi paused to let his words sink in, but when I didn’t flinch or pull away, he continued. “So, a couple of months ago… I think it was in December? I started to see you in a different way. I remember it being cold as fuck that day, and I was just walking home with Petra when you suddenly come running up to us. And you just looked like a piece of the sun that had come to warm me up. It was like you were radiating heat from you, and I just stopped freezing for a moment. Everything was grey and white and boring, but you were so colorful. And no, I’m not just talking about your looks. It was everything about you. I can’t really explain it that well,”

I remembered that day. I had just passed one of my midterm exams and was on my way to celebrate with Mikasa and Armin when I had run into him and Petra. The weather had been particularly cold that day, but I had had that feeling of being unstoppable like there was nothing I couldn’t do in the whole world.

“So you’re telling me that me being extra happy made you like me? Damn. I should have been acting like that all the time, then.” I said jokingly. Levi snuck his hand up to my chin, gently guiding my face upwards for him to look into my eyes.

“I just remember getting an intense feeling of wanting to be the reason for that smile of yours,” He said with a gentle voice as he looked at me imploringly.

I suddenly felt a terrible urge to cry.

* * *

“We seriously need to take a shower.”

I looked down at myself as I had gotten up, letting my fingers slide over my inner thighs. They had been covered in Levi’s dried up cum from the night before, mixing itself with the next load from this morning. My stomach was sticky as well from my own cum, and I haven’t even taken a look at the mess on the bed.

I helped him take off the dirty sheets and threw them in a pile on the floor. We would have to wash that later. For now, we both headed into the bathroom, still butt-naked.

“You go first,” I offered as I leaned against the cold surface where the sink was. I could still feel his cum inside of my ass, making me tighten up to make sure it didn’t leak. I felt so gross.

“Don’t be an idiot. You’re even dirtier than I am,” Levi said sternly. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the shower with him and turned on the water. He wasted no time grabbing the soap and starting the scrubbing over himself and then me. He was acting so natural like this was something we had done many times before, while my whole body tensed up every time he touched me.

“You really don’t need to…” I weakly protested but was quickly shut up with just one look from Levi. We stood there in silence as the water rinsed and cleaned our bodies. I really didn’t want to clean my ass while Levi was watching me, but it was also clear to me that he wasn’t going to leave any time soon. So, I squatted down quickly and slid my fingers down between my ass to help it get out, trying not to look at Levi as I did so.

“Need help?” I could hear the teasing tone in his voice.

“N-No!” I immediately exclaimed. We had done too many embarrassing things already, and I just wanted to get this over with quickly.

When we had finished the shower and gotten ready, I hurried up to the attic to get a fresh set of clothes for myself. It put some distance between us and made sure that we weren’t arriving in the kitchen at the same time. It would have been too obvious. And I certainly wasn’t ready to face all the questions and jokes and teases from anyone. I needed to think about what happened without anyone interfering, and the only one I could talk to was Armin.

He would arrive tomorrow, but I definitely couldn’t wait that long. I was already bursting at the seams. I pulled out my cellphone and typed in his number. It never went as far as to actually call him up, since the screen immediately displayed an error. I looked at the bars.

There were none.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a lot of fanfics try to ignore the reality of sex. Like the fact that you gotta clean up properly afterward, lol. I kinda wanted to write it in, just to make it feel more realistic. I don't want my smut to be like "Oh yes daddy fuck me hard" and then that's it. Naaaah man, I wanna add all the awkward stuff as well
> 
> Btw: The next chapter will be up in just a day or two. But please bookmark the story if you want a notification for when I update! :)


	5. Husbands and Wives

“Hey, does anyone have a signal?” I asked as I headed into the living room. Erwin was sitting on the couch with a bucket between his legs, with Hanji patting his back. Hanji looked up and shook her head, before noticing that it was me. It looked like something clicked in her head because her lips started widening into a big grin.

“Hey, Eren! Did you sleep well?” She asked, a little bit too excited. I furrowed my brows, before nodding slowly.

“Y-Yeah… I did. How about you?” I only asked to be polite, but I would soon regret that.

“Oh, it was actually a bit difficult for me to sleep! _Someone_ in the other room was making _a lot_ of noise.” She stared at me until she saw the realization hit me. Damn it, why couldn’t I control my reactions as well as Levi? He had to tell me later how he did that.

“O-Oh, uh, really?” I tried feigning ignorance. “What a bummer! Okay, well, I’m going to head outside. Feel b-better, Erwin!” I stumbled over my words as well as my feet as I quickly rushed outside to escape the awkwardness of the situation.

Damn Hanji and her big ears and mouth. If Hanji knew, then soon everyone would know.

I headed out on the terrace where the rest of the guys were sitting and eating breakfast. Krista, Ymir, and Petra had already finished and were all lying on a blanket on the grass, probably enjoying the sun and trying to get a little tanner by the looks of their clothes. Or lack thereof.

“Hey,” I greeted everyone, this time warier of their reactions when I sat down. But no one seemed to know what Hanji knew, because everyone was more focused on a conversation that Jean and Reiner were having.

“I’m really freaking out, you guys.” Jean was holding his head in his hands, his elbows placed on the table to keep himself up. He looked really out of it.

“What’s wrong with him?” I whispered to the person beside me, who happened to be Connie.

“Marco and he got into an argument last night, and now Jean can’t find him anywhere. He’s afraid that something might have happened to him, but honestly? He’s probably just taking a long walk to get some distance. I mean, I can’t blame the guy. It must be pretty overwhelming sometimes to be dating that guy,” Connie grinned and shook his head as he eyed Jean, before giving back his full attention to the pile of bacon on his plate.

I tried to focus on the abundance of food in front of me, but it was damn near impossible when I constantly felt Levi’s eyes on me. He was sitting on the other side of the table, a few rows down, only entertaining a single cup of black coffee that he was holding with both hands. I tried to ignore his gaze as I placed some eggs and toast on my plate and filled a glass with orange juice.

I looked down at my hand trying to grab the fork in front of me, but it was shaking lightly. God, did he even know what he was doing to me.

My eyes shot up and I stared directly back at him, my lips moving to silently mouth the words, “ _Stop. It._ ”

Levi ran his tongue discreetly over his bottom lip before he sent me a small grin. He was so amused by my nervousness! I stuck my tongue out of my mouth to silently blow raspberries before someone suddenly placed a hand over mine.

“Eren, are you okay?”

Mikasa had noticed my hand shaking and had placed herself beside me to make sure everything was alright.

“O-Oh, yeah.” I looked at her, trying to come up with some kind of excuse. “I guess I’m just a little worried about… Marco. Yeah. Horsefa- um, I mean, Jean seems pretty bummed out about it,”

“I heard them arguing yesterday when we went to bed. It seemed pretty harsh, so he’s probably just letting out some steam. You know how frustrating it can be to discuss something with Jean,” She replied, seemingly as unbothered by it as Connie had been.

“Yeah, Jean can be a real ass sometimes,” I nodded, agreeing with her before beginning to stuff my face with food. I had completely forgotten how hungry I had actually been. Sex really wore me out.

After eating four eggs and three pieces of toast, I was finally stuffed enough. People started cleaning up when Petra went over to the table. She was wearing a high-waisted red bikini with white flowers scattered sporadically on it, and a pair of large, brown sunglasses was placed in her hair.

“I just remembered a game I wanted to teach you guys!” She clapped her hands excitedly. “Who wants to join?”

“Do we have to move a lot?” Connie asked as he rubbed his stomach like he was pregnant.

“Not a lot! Depends on what team you’re on,” Petra laughed.

“What’s it about?” Levi asked her, which seemed to surprise her. He usually never spoke out of his own free will when we were all gathered.

“Uh, um, it’s a game called Husbands and Wives. Half of us sit on chairs as the wives, and the other half are the husbands who stand behind them. There is one husband who has an empty chair, and he has to wink to one of the wives who then has to try to run over and sit on his chair. The husbands’ jobs are to keep their wives from running away. I swear, it’s really fun!”

Connie, Sasha, Reiner, Bertholt, Krista, Ymir, Levi, and I ended up agreeing to do it. We put up five chairs and I ended up starting out as one of the wives, together with Connie, Krista, and Reiner. Sasha stood behind me as my husband.

“Okay, all husbands’ hands should be behind their backs, okay?” Petra commanded. She was starting out with an empty chair. Sasha pouted but removed her hands from my shoulders.

“You better stay put!” She jokingly told me. I let out a laugh.

“Don’t count on it!”

The game started, and it was actually surprisingly fun. Krista squealed as she was so easily held back by Levi, and soon no one dared to wink at her anymore. I was one of the faster ones, so it was easy for me to react fast when someone winked at me. I was having a lot of fun, and it started to kinda feel nice to have Levi’s eyes on me. I knew he was keeping watch, so it actually gave me more courage.

I realized that it was because I wanted to impress him.

Sasha was one of the sly husbands and finally managed to wink at Krista without Levi noticing before she was already halfway towards Sasha.

I held my breath as I positioned myself properly in the chair. I _knew_ instantly that he as going to wink at me, even though he took a long time looking at all of the wives, trying to raise the anticipation.

When his eyes scanned over to me, he spared no time though. As soon as I saw the slightest indication of a wink in his right eye, I was sprinting to his chair. Bertholt, who had been behind me, let out a frustrated groan.

“This is unfair! It’s impossible to catch Eren!”

“Don’t play the game if you can’t handle the pressure,” I teased him, laughing out loud, before getting myself comfortable in the chair. I could feel Levi’s breath against my neck and knew that he had leaned down to whisper something in my ear.

“I won’t let you go so easily,”

“Don’t be so sure of yourself,” I replied, and with my new-found courage, I looked up at him and sent him the most seductive look I could possibly come up with. If I had to be honest, I would rather stay here with Levi, but on the other side, it now felt like we were competing against each other to see which one of us was better than the other. But it still felt nice to hear him say it. It felt like he was already a tad bit possessive of me, and I liked the feeling it gave me. It made me feel wanted.

The game continued for a while, and for the first three times someone winked at me, Levi already had his arms wrapped around my shoulders before I could even react.

“Told you so,” He chuckled in my ear when it happened the fourth time. I pretended to sulk and lean back, my head resting against his stomach. “Okay, I give up,” I let out a sigh.

I had a plan though. When it was Sasha’s turn and she winked at me, I managed to throw myself down onto the ground instead of jumping up and off the chair. Levi’s hands only managed to graze my back before I put the distance between us. “Told you so,” I teasingly told him as I walked to Sasha’s chair, giving him a little wink as I sat down. Levi squinted his eyes at me, but it was easy to spot the edges of his lips turning slightly upwards in a smile, which told me that he was more amused than annoyed.

I didn’t get to come back to him again before the game ended when people started whining over the increasing heat.

“There’s a pond with a waterfall nearby, you know,” Sasha informed us as we were cleaning up and putting the chairs back. Several of us had already taken off our shirts, myself included.

Someone had placed a couple of water bottles on the table, so I immediately took one and downed it in one go.

“I’m up for the river,” I said, agreeing that it might be fun if we all went swimming together. Sasha assured us that it was only about a mile away, and we could take blankets and drinks with us. Almost everyone agreed to go, even Erwin who had been feeling better once Hanji had forced him to drink one of her mysterious mixtures. It was only Petra who decided to stay at home. The heat had given her a migraine, sometimes that she suffered from often. The only thing that helped her was to take a nap, so we didn’t pressure her to come along, though a lot of us didn’t like leaving her alone.

“If Marco comes back and all of us are gone, that will probably scare him. So, it’s for the best, and that way I can still be of some use,” She smiled gently, before urging us out of the door. Jean insisted on staying as well, but Connie managed to convince him to come along. It wasn’t healthy for him to just sit alone and stress out over their fight, after all.

The whole group headed out, and it didn’t take long before we arrived. The pond was fairly large, but the water coming down from the cliffs couldn’t really be called a waterfall though. I had changed into my swimming trunks from home, so when I had pulled off my pants, I was ready to jump in. Krista had beat me to it though, letting out a playful squeal as she jumped into the pond with her whole body. She let out a girlish scream when she came to the surface. “So cold!” She exclaimed, though she didn’t seem too bothered by it. I jumped in next, with Connie and Sasha following suit only seconds later. Soon it was only Bertholt, Hanji, Jean, and Levi back on dry land. I played around in the water with Ymir, Krista and Reiner as we played the game of Chicken, where the girls sat on our shoulders and had to pull the other one under the water in order to win. Krista was sitting on Reiner’s shoulders while Ymir was on mine, that way they were almost at the same height. Even though Ymir was clearly stronger than Krista, we still ended up losing several times before I finally had to give up completely. I had swallowed a lot of water while trying to keep steady with Ymir on top of me.

I coughed a couple of times as I crawled out of the water and headed over to the others. I collapsed on the ground beside Levi, not even giving it a second thought that the others probably wondered why I so casually was able to do that.

“I’m dying,” I informed him, still trying to catch my breath.

“Then die,” He said with a bored tone, but his face told a different story as he looked down at me. His eyes looked gentle as he removed a wet lock of hair that had stuck itself to my forehead. “You’ll look gorgeous even in death,” He teased me, though it sounded like he meant it.

“Won’t you come into the water?” I asked him, trying to change the subject. I wasn’t used to his compliments yet, and my cheeks were surely showing my true reaction to his words.

“I don’t think that would be the best idea,” He hummed, enjoying the sight of my flushed face. “Unless you want people to see what you’ve done to my back?”

Well, if my face wasn’t red before, it surely was now as I remembered how I had scratched him last night.

“Ah… I’m really sorry about that.” I mumbled awkwardly. “Does it hurt?”

“Don’t worry about it,” He shook his head lightly, before looking away from me suddenly. “What?” He snapped at someone. I raised my head to see Hanji and Erwin staring at us with large eyes. Erwin seemed more shocked than Hanji, who was smiling widely.

“You guys just seem awfully chummy all of the sudden.” Hanji grinned. “Did something happen that we should know about?”

“Go die, stupid four-eyes.” Levi hissed at her, though he didn’t move out of his place.

“Hey, Eren! Eren, Eren!” Hanji yelled excitedly, completely unfazed by Levi’s harsh words. She moved closer to us, pulling Erwin with her. “Did he finally tell you?”

“Tell me what?” I asked hesitantly as I pushed myself up onto my elbows. My eyes darted from Levi to Hanji several times in confusion. Hanji looked expectantly at Levi as if she wouldn’t answer without his permission. Levi’s body tensed up before he let out a loud sigh.

“Fine! Yes, he knows.”

Hanji made a little dance and let out a loud squeal that made everyone stop and stare at her for a moment, before continuing their fun in the water.

“So cute! You guuuuuys!”

Erwin seemed to realize what they were talking about because his face seemed to ease from the tension and he smiled gently at us.

“It’s nice to finally see you guys talking. He’s been walking on eggshells around you for weeks,” Erwin chuckled lowly. That made me look at Levi again, trying to see through his outer expression. He ignored my gaze and instead looked at the people in the water, which made me wonder if he was … Embarrassed?

“Oh, really?” I said, grinning now. This was turning out to be a better conversation than I originally thought. “Did I make you nervous?”

“No,” He replied firmly, but his answer came a bit too fast to be natural. I snickered at his reaction, before moving my attention back to Hanji and Erwin. “I didn’t think that Levi was the type to tell you guys about his feelings.”

“Oh, trust me, he didn’t do it purpose!” Hanji laughed. “We had suspected that something was up with him for some time, so we devised a plan to get him reaaaaally drunk one night. Once he was on his second bottle of wine, he finally started whining about those pretty green eyes of yours and-…”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Levi gave Hanji’s shoulder a soft slap, sending her a stern look that made her shut up. I couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of Levi succumbing to the influence of alcohol and spewing out all his secrets.

“Sounds like I should try that plan someday,” I teased, sending Levi a devilish smirk. He then proceeded to slap my shoulder as well.

“Don’t even think about it,” He whispered, leaning close. “If that ever happens, I’ll make you drink the same amount as me. And then we’ll see who spills their secrets first, hmm?”

Ah, fuck. He was getting too close again and putting terrible thoughts into my head. Just the two of us, drunk and horny, and… I swallowed loudly, and leaned closer, for a moment forgetting that we were at full display for all to see.

“Is it okay…?” My words were spilling out before I knew it. He looked at my face for a moment before smirking.

“Fuck everyone else. It’s just you and me right now,” His lips were already on my lips before he managed to finish the sentence completely. He placed a hand behind my neck to steady my head as his lips began to move against mine. Since I was still holding myself up with both my arms, I couldn’t do anything other than just try to keep up with him and succumb to his control. Which I honestly didn’t mean.

“ _Eren,_ ” A sharp voice cut through the air, and I tore myself apart from Levi in time to see Mikasa coming out of the water and towards us.

“Shit,” I panted, before pushing myself up in a proper sitting position. She looked mad. Well, she always looked a little mad, but this was worse. I knew I was in trouble, even though I technically hadn’t done anything wrong. I was about to say some stupid excuse like _it’s not what it looks like_ but who was I kidding? It was exactly what it looked like.

“Can I talk with you for a second?” She said, though it wasn’t exactly a request. “Over _there_.” She pointed to the edge of the forest, a few meters away.

I sent Levi an apologizing look, before following Mikasa.

“What’s going on?” She demanded to know.

From an outsider’s perspective, she didn’t really have a right to know. But it was more complicated than that – we had been very close when we were growing up, and Mikasa had always shared her thoughts and feelings with me. I usually did that as well, just not when it came to romantic feelings. But she was one of the people closest to me, so I understood her frustration when it came to not knowing something about me. Especially something as important as this.

“Well, we kinda connected last night…” I explained to her as I rubbed my neck nervously. “We both like each other, so… Well, I think we’re dating, but I’m not sure, it’s all very new. It just happened last night. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to tell you,”

Mikasa seemed to become slightly less tense after my explanation, but she still didn’t seem very happy about it.

“You _know_ how I feel about that guy. He’s nothing but trouble,” She growled, sending Levi a deathly glare. I looked back to see that he was visibly glaring back at us, unbothered by Mikasa’s radiating hatred for him.

“Well, you don’t know how _I_ feel about him. And I actually like him a lot, so you’ll just have to accept that,” I tried to say it with the firmest tone I could manage. “Besides, if you just talked to him, you’d know that he’s a nice guy.”

“But he…” Mikasa was rummaging through her mind for more arguments. “He never talks to anyone, and whenever he says anything, he’s always so harsh and controlling. He walks as if he thinks so highly of himself too, it pisses me off.”

“Well, you hardly talk to anyone either! And don’t you think that the way you’re talking to me is harsh and controlling as well? You don’t make decisions for me Mikasa, so don’t think you’re better than him!” I raised my voice at her, now slightly annoyed. I instinctively wanted to protect Levi when anyone said anything mean about him, and that instinct had only grown bigger in the last 24 hours.

Mikasa stared at me with large eyes and I knew that she had felt insulted by my words, even if I hadn’t meant it like that. She opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by someone else loudly arguing close to the water. Both our heads snapped around to stare at what was going down, for a moment completely forgetting about our own discussion.

It was Jean who was freaking out again, discussing with Connie and Sasha. Reiner and Bertholt soon joined into the conversation, trying to calm everyone down.

“We’ll take about this later,” I told Mikasa, before walking over to see what was going on.

“Don’t you see that this isn’t normal? Something happened to him, I know it! He wouldn’t be gone for so long!” Jean exclaimed, and it was like you could see the frustration oozing out of his whole body.

“Dude calm down! He’s just out for a walk!”

“A walk that lasts for thirteen hours?! He left at two am in the morning!”

“You don’t know if he slept somewhere else in the house and then left this morning though!”

“Even if he went on a walk before 9 am when I woke up, that’s still five whole hours! He’s never gone for that long!”

“Maybe you really fucked up this time,” Connie shrugged. “Maybe he’s just deciding how to break up with you,”

I saw Jean’s body react before he himself realized it and managed to grab his arm before it swung at Connie’s face.

“Okay, that was uncalled for,” I said, trying to force some distance them as I placed myself in the middle. “Jean, I get that you’re worried, I would be too. We can help you search for him if you want us to?”

Jean stared at me in a mixture of anger and confusion. I wasn’t usually this nice to him, as a matter of fact, it was usually us that got into fights and arguments.

“Y-Yeah…” He said hesitantly, the anger seeping out of him. “Does anyone want to help?”

Mikasa, Reiner, Bertholt, Erwin, Annie, and Levi ended up volunteering to help, which was more than enough for now. We decided to spread out and take an area each, while Jean would run back to the cabin to see if he had returned.

As I put on my shoes and made my way through the forest, I didn’t particularly know what I should be looking for. I didn’t know how to track for clues or footprints, and it wasn’t like I was just expecting to find Marco walking around aimlessly, so I just tried to stay alert as I walked with nothing but my own thoughts for company.

“Marco?” I decided to call out after ten minutes' time. My voice echoed through the trees, but with no answer. I kept calling out his name every other minute until I started to feel a little dumb. I bet that Marco was already back at the cabin with Jean, and I was just wasting my time here when I could have been enjoying the sun with Levi by my side.

There was still so much that I wanted to talk with him about and ask him. But honestly, I just wanted to start getting to know him. I only knew that Hanji had told me and what I had observed, and it wasn’t much.

He liked his coffee black, but if he could choose, he’d rather want tea instead. He didn’t like when people walked in their rooms with their shoes on, which made me guess that he was fonder of clean spaces. He had a foul mouth and when someone pissed him off, he wasn’t afraid to tell them. He was stronger than he looked, and he always wore tight clothing. He enjoyed listening to music, as I’d seen him with earbuds in more times than not, but I didn’t know what kind of music he liked to listen to. And he wanted to study business, which made me think that he was rather intelligent.

I let out a frustrated sigh as I squatted down and placed my hands over my head.

“Oh my god, why does he even like me?!” I exclaimed to myself, as realization sunk in. I hated tea, my room was always messy, my clothes were baggy, and I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the shed. I was the complete opposite of him! He was always so calm and stoic, while I always said stuff without thinking and was rather impulsive.

Fuck. When he would get to know me, he would certainly not be impressed. Maybe he would even stop liking me. I couldn’t let that happen, not when I finally had him within my grasp!

I looked down at my hands, which were trembling again. No, that way of thinking was worse. I didn’t want him to fall in love with some fake, perfect version of me, I wanted him to fall in love with _me._ The messy part of me. The loud and annoying part of me. The dumb and naïve part of me. I didn’t want to change who I was completely just for the sake of some guy, even if that guy was Levi.

“It’s gonna take you a long time to find him if you keep doing that,” Someone said from behind me. I let out a surprised scream as I jumped up and turned around.

“Fuck, don’t scare me like that!” I reprimanded him, as I saw Levi leaning up against a tree with his arms crossed. “I almost died of a heart attack,”

“I can give you a heart attack in many other ways if you don’t prefer this one.” Levi chuckled lowly as he moved towards me. He grabbed my wrist tightly and pulled me into his embrace. “Why were you screaming before?” He then asked, his tone changing to a softer one.

“Screaming?”

“Yeah. You were yelling something, but I couldn’t quite make it out,”

Oh. I blushed as I remembered. I stared at him as I tried to come up with an excuse. He looked good as always, and it wasn’t visible to see that he had been walking around in the woods for about twenty minutes or so in the baking heat. I, on the other hand, was already sweating.

“What’s that?” I asked him, pointing at something red on his sleeve. A good distraction for someone who were usually very neat.

“This? I don’t know. Maybe I scratched myself on a branch?” He looked at the red mark on his grey sleeve. “Don’t worry about it,” He smiled at me, taking a step closer.

Okay, I had to say something. In fact, I wanted to, I just didn’t know how to do it. I took a deep breath, preparing myself. “Levi,” I began, my voice sounding serious as I looked at him.

“Yeah?” He cocked up an eyebrow as he looked at me, waiting for whatever I had to say.

“I’m not good at cleaning up after myself. I don’t mind wearing the same shirt for a couple of days in a row, and I don’t take my shoes off when I go into my room.”

Levi looked at me for a moment, his eyes flickering slightly in confusion.

“O-Okay…?” He said, not sure what the hell I meant by that.

“I just don’t want you to get disappointed when you learn that I’m not like you,” I averted my eyes, looking down. I honestly just didn’t want to get hurt. And it would only hurt more, the longer time went on.

“Jaeger, what the fuck are you talking about? I don’t expect you to be like me.” Levi said, letting out an airy chuckle. “It would certainly be a bit too egocentric of me to only like people who is exactly like me, don’t you think?”

“I don’t understand…” I spoke slowly, staring at a button on his shirt like it was the most fascinating thing I had seen all day.

“For fuck’s sake, Eren.” Levi sighed as he grabbed my chin between his thumb and fingertip to raise my face. “I like you because you’re _you_ , even when you're being an idiot like right now.”

“But you don’t even know me!” I protested weakly.

“I know enough.” He hummed sweetly, before kissing both of my cheeks. “I can’t control how I feel, Eren. Who knows how I’ll feel in two months? Right now I know that I like you. And I’ve liked you for quite a few months now.” He placed his lips on mine for a long time, before slowly moving away again to continue.

“Besides, I’ve already picked up on your messiness. And I honestly don’t mind that much. If you just continue to shower regularly, of course.”

I let out a laugh at that. He certainly knew exactly what to say to make me feel better.

“You’re good with words,” I complimented him as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“I’m good with a lot of things,” He purred into my ear, before placing kisses alongside my neck and collarbone. I shivered and closed my eyes, enjoying his simple touches.

“Y-You tease me t-too much…” I panted lightly as I could feel my body beginning to react. Levi’s one hand had slid up under my shirt, while the other had slid down into my swimming trunks to tease my balls. My hips jerked forward a bit, and I tightened my arms around him.

“Is it overkill to do it three times under twelve hours?” He purred lowly as he licked my earlobe. I bit my bottom lip hard, before sliding my hands down his chest.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you,” I answered him honestly, as my hands reached his belt. It didn’t take long until it was on the ground. “But my asshole says otherwise.” I grinned, before pulling down his pants and underwear.

“But I know of something else that will make you feel good…” I smiled at him, before slowly descending onto my knees.

* * *

When we finished our little rendezvous in the woods, we returned to the cabin. A lot of people were gathered around Jean, seemingly consoling him.

He jumped up at the first sight of us.

“Did you find him?”

We looked at each other, then back at Jean, before shaking our heads.

Jean broke down crying not long after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jean. :( I kinda feel bad that I'm making him go through this. 
> 
> The next chapter is going to be a tough one. Prepare yourselves.


	6. The Search and Rescue Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PREPARE YOURSELVES

People were whispering in the corners of the living room, trying not to freak Jean out any more than he always was. Bertholt and Krista were sitting beside him and trying to comfort him, while the others tried to make sense of the situation. Even Connie looked like he wasn’t feeling well. But that was probably also because he had been the one who had insisted that nothing was wrong.

It was understandable that he felt bad. If I were him, I would feel like the biggest jerk on the planet.

_“What if he’s hurt somewhere? What if he met some kind of animal, and…”_

_“Do you think he’s dead?”_

_“Don’t even say such a thing…”_

_“I just wanted a nice weekend to enjoy our last days together as friends…”_

_“We’ll get through this.”_

_“Annie’s still out there looking for him. Maybe she found him, and they’re on their way back…?”_

So many quiet whispers and theories. Everyone was trying not to panic, but it was starting to become difficult.

“Alright everyone, listen up.” Erwin made his way into the room, a map in his head. Sasha was following right behind him. “We shouldn’t panic yet. I think some of you should go prepare some sandwiches for us to bring along, and then the rest of us will check out the map and lay down a plan. Annie still hasn’t come back yet, but we shouldn’t wait for her in case she doesn’t find him. Understood?”

People immediately stepped into character and rushed off to do whatever they decided they could do best. Krista and Connie headed into the kitchen to prepare the food, while Ymir, Hanji, and Bertholt decided to go to the cars to get the flashlights and other necessary supplies that we had brought along. The rest of us sat down on the floor around the living room table as Erwin spread out the map.

“Alright, so we’ve already searched this area around the area. Now I think we should create groups that…” I started zoning out as he started discussing the specifics of his plan.

It was starting to feel like Erwin wasn’t really treating this as a rescue-type of situation. It was more like he thought we needed to prepare to find a body instead.

It was as if Levi could feel my body tense up beside him because he silently placed a hand on my thigh, caressing it softly with his thumb. I realized that I had been holding my breath and let out a long exhale. I placed my hand over his and gave it a gentle squeeze to show my gratitude. It was a simple gesture from him, but he had still managed to calm me down some.

Erwin divided us into groups of five. I was placed in a group with Mikasa and Bertholt, while Levi had to go with Hanji and Ymir. Krista and Connie came back with sandwiches for all of us, while Ymir handed out a flashlight for each group. Just in case we don’t come back before dark, she informed us.

“Someone should probably go wake up Petra,”

Sasha went to do so, while everyone else prepared themselves. I had gone up to get a change of clothes, and while I changed into a pair of stretchy jeans and a plain, salmon-colored t-shirt, I suddenly felt very stupid. I couldn’t believe that Levi and I had fooled around in the woods like some sex-crazed teenagers, while Marco was probably lost somewhere, all alone and afraid. We shouldn’t have wasted time like that.

I let out a sigh just as Reiner entered the room.

“Are you okay, Eren?”

I looked up at him, then nodded. He went over to grab a cardigan from his backpack, and then patted me on the back.

“We’re going to find him, you know. We shouldn’t worry about too much until we really have to,” He said, trying to calm my nerves. Everyone had always looked up to Reiner, as his character always seemed so big brother-like, and even in a situation like this he managed to make me feel a bit better.

“Thanks, Reiner. I’m sure you’re right,” I nodded. We headed back down to find everyone outside on the front lawn.

“Where’s Petra?” Krista asked Sasha as she returned to us a few seconds after we did.

“I think she’s still asleep because she didn’t answer when I knocked on the door.” Sasha looked at all of us. “You know how easily worried she gets, so I thought I’d let her sleep. There’s no point in frightening her if we just come back with Marco before she wakes up,”

Everyone seemed to agree with her, but I still felt the knot in my stomach tighten. I wanted to ask; _but what if we don’t come back with Marco?_ But I kept it in. Just as Reiner had said, there was no reason to worry about stuff before we were sure about it.

We headed out in different directions. Our group had gone in the direction of the river that was about three miles away from here, and we trekked the distance in complete silence. No one wanted to talk about what-ifs, and there was really no point in making any other type of small talk. Everyone seemed tense from the situation. Myself included.

As we reached the river, we began to follow alongside it. I didn’t know how far we had to walk, but I knew that we had to do whatever we could for however long. It didn’t matter if we would have to walk for hours because Marco could have fallen in and that meant the current could have taken him a long way.

The minutes turned into the first hour, and soon we had to stop for a water break. We ate our sandwiches in silence before moving on. Ten minutes was when I finally spotted something strange in the water.

“Guys, there’s something there! Can you see it?” I yelled at them, pointing at the low tree branch that was hovering just slightly over the water on the other side of the river. Something was had been caught in it, but it was impossible to see it properly from here.

I took off my shoes and immediately began making my way towards the water.

“Wait, Eren-“

I stared back at Mikasa who had grabbed one of my wrists to hold me back.

“What if the current’s too strong for you?”

I looked at her, frustrated that even know she was thinking more about me than what could possibly be Marco’s dead body stuck in the water.

“I swam competitively in high school, don’t you remember? I’ve got this,” I assured her, before pulling my hand back from her. Bertholt and her stayed where they were, staring at me as I jumped into the water and made my way towards the branch. Mikasa had been right about one thing – the current here was strong indeed. But I had tried worse, and my body quickly remembered the right movements when swimming in natural waters. I finally grabbed onto the end of the branch and held onto it tightly as my other hand started pulling away at the small sticks and leaves that had been caught as well.

I let out a horrified scream as I lay eyes on the body before me. The small frame, the wet blond curls of hair, the hoodie she always wore no matter the weather…

It was Annie.

“Eren!” I heard Mikasa yell out in worry. I was just about to yell back when I noticed something strange. Annie’s neck was bent in a very strange way, and there was something very unnatural about it. I moved closer to inspect it, before suddenly pushing myself away.

No. _No…_ It couldn’t be.

“GET THE OTHERS! NOW!” I screamed back at them. I didn’t know if they had heard me or not, because now I had more important things to worry about. I had to stay strong for now, or at least until I reached shore. I wrapped an arm around her torso and cringed as I felt her wet skin against mine. _She was so cold._

How long had she been in the water?

There was no time to think. I yanked her free from the branch and held her close to me as I began to swim back with her. But this time it was considerably harder to do so since I didn’t have both my arms to push myself forward. By the time I reached land, I had swallowed a large amount of water and my head was feeling dizzy and disoriented. Bertholt had run off and came back with two of the other groups, one of which were Levi’s.

Most of them started screaming when they realized the identity of the body that I was currently pushing up on land. I could even hear someone puking, but I didn’t have the strength to look up to find out who. I was about to pull myself up when someone grabbed my upper arms and pulled me out of the water. It was Levi and Reiner who had worked together to help me. I was shaking from the cold, and my mind was probably in shock.

The sight of Annie had shaken me to the core.

“Eren…” Levi said with a gentle voice as he reached out a hand to help me get to my feet. But I just shook my head and stayed on my knees, my glare fixed to the ground. It was first when my vision became blurred that I realized I was sobbing.

“S-She’s… The neck… I-It’s…” I tried to tell them, but I couldn’t make out the words. I kept rambling until Levi’s arms wrapped themselves around me and he pulled me into his embrace. “ _Shh,”_ he hushed in my ear as he caressed my back to try and calm me down. “It’s alright. It’s going to be alright,”

I clenched my hands and entangled them in his shirt as I pressed my forehead down on his shoulder. It took me several minutes to calm down enough to look up at the others. Almost all of them had collapsed onto their knees as well, and it had been Connie, Bertholt, and Krista who had emptied their stomachs earlier. Krista was still at it.

My eyes locked together with Erwin, who was one of the few still standing. He looked incredibly sad, I noticed.

“It wasn’t an accident,” I managed to say.

Everyone looked at me. I sniffed, before continuing.

“Look at her neck… I-It’s been c-cut open… Probably from a knife…” I looked around. No one dared to answer me, but I could see the fear transforming their faces. It wasn’t my intention to scare them, but I had to say it out loud.

With that, I moved my attention back to Levi. I had done my duty, said what needed to be said. I felt overwhelmed and suddenly very tired now.

“How are you feeling?” Levi asked me, still caressing my back. My wet clothes had completely soaked him as well, but he seemed unbothered by it. All of his attention was on me at the moment. It made me feel incredibly safe to know that he was here for me. So supportive and patient as well. Another two things to add to the list of traits that I liked about him.

“I’m scared, Levi.” I told him in all honesty. “Th-That wound she has on her throat… That doesn’t come from an animal. It was from a knife, I’m sure of it…” I whispered to him. “What if there’s someone up here in the woods with us? First Marco, and now Annie…”

“We don’t know that Marco’s gone yet, not for sure. We still need to have hope,” He told me, but it didn’t sound like he believed his own words. “And whoever is out there won’t lay a finger on you. I won’t let them,” He whispered as he kissed away the tears from my cheeks. His gentle words and kindness only made more tears fall. I pressed my forehead against his and closed my eyes, my hands holding tightly onto his shirt.

“I believe you,” I mumbled. But even so – I wanted my friends to be safe too, and Levi couldn’t protect every single one of us. We needed to do something, and fast.

We needed to get out of here.

“We need to call the police,” Mikasa suddenly spoke up.

“How? There’s no signal up here,” I told them. Everyone pulled out their phones and checked for themselves, but no one was able to get even one bar.

“There’s a landline up at the cabin. We should head back and call them there,” Sasha informed us. She was trying to sound strong, but it was easy to hear her voice slightly shaking.

“Then what are we waiting for?” I pulled myself away from Levi and jumped up. I bent down to grab Annie which resulted in a scream from Krista.

“Wh-What are you doing, Eren?!”

I stared at her in disbelief.

”Are you seriously going to suggest leaving her here?”

Krista placed a hand over her mouth, the tears silently sliding down over her cheeks. Annie was her dear friend, I knew that very well, so I couldn’t imagine what had gone through her head just now.

“N-No… I just…”

Maybe she didn’t want to see a constant reminder of Annie’s death, or maybe she thought it was disgusting for me to be touching a corpse. But in the end, she just turned her back to me and let Ymir embrace her.

I continued lifting Annie’s body up, which was now considerably heavier out of the water. But I forced myself to keep going, try not to focus too much on the stares I were receiving as I walked past everyone and made my way through the forest.

“You heard the man, move it.” I heard Levi command the rest of them before he ran up to my side.

The trip home took longer than I had anticipated. The sun had already started descending down behind the mountains, and the now chilly air was making me feel much colder in my wet clothes. We had taken turns carrying Annie, since I had quickly realized that I could only walk with her for about half a mile before my arms started aching. Reiner took over first and carried her for the next whole mile, and then Erwin helped as well. Both of them had much more muscle strength and better stamina than me, so they ended up carrying her for the rest of the walk back.

I felt like I could sleep for a thousand years when we finally reached the cabin. All I wanted to do was to get out of these clothes and throw myself onto a bed. Most of all, I just wanted to escape this reality, if only for a little while. I didn’t want to be cold, wet, and afraid. I wanted to be that Eren that Levi had noticed on that cold December day last year, where I had been radiating heat and happiness.

But first, we had to call the police. And then pack up all our stuff and drive down this mountain. I would probably have to sleep in the car, which I wasn’t looking forward to. We all hurried inside, leaving Annie’s body on the patio outside. It was warmer in here, so I immediately pulled off my shirt and let out a sigh of relief when it was finally off.

“I’ll go check the phone in my dad’s office,” Sasha told us, before running off.

We all stood there in silence, holding our breaths as we waited for her to come back. Levi had grabbed a blanket from the couch and had thrown it over my shoulders, and I pulled it tightly around me immediately.

“Thank you,” I told him, touched by his consideration of my well-being. He was about to reply when we heard loud footsteps coming down the stairs. It was Sasha, and she was running.

“It’s disconnected!” She exclaimed; her face full of horror. “Someone cut the cord!”

Everyone immediately broke out into a low murmur of worried whispering, but Erwin was quick to gather attention once more.

“Alright, calm down everyone. I’ll drive down to the police station and get someone to come up here with us,”

“Why don’t we all just go? I don’t want to be here anymore,” Krista cried out.

Erwin looked at her, then nodded.

“Sure, we can all go. Everyone has ten minutes to pack their bags, and then we meet here again. Alright?”

Everyone nodded, before scattering in each direction. I looked at Levi.

“Can I take a shower in your room?”

“Of course, you can. Do you want me to get your bag for you?”

I nodded and we headed to his and Erwin’s room. Levi went up to get my stuff when he knew that I was safely inside the bathroom.

I cleaned myself quickly and dried myself even quicker with the towel. I caught myself almost scrubbing my skin harshly with the towel; all the places where Annie’s body had touched me. I felt dirty, disgusting.

I looked at myself in the mirror, only to not recognize the man staring back at me. I had been reduced to a frightened mess of a person, and I didn’t like that. I wanted to be strong, not only for myself but also for everyone else, so why couldn’t I pull myself together? My hands were still shaking, even now when I was safe in here.

“Hey,” Levi opened the door and slid inside quickly with some of my clothes in his hands. “Erwin’s packing his bags outside, so I just took something for you,” He handed me the fresh pair of underwear, light denim shorts and a white t-shirt. I put it on, and when I was finally done, I threw myself at him.

“I want to drive in the same car as you,” I mumbled as I hugged him tightly, like a stubborn child who just wanted to get their way.

“I think that can be arranged,” Levi chuckled lowly as he slid his fingers through my damp locks of hair. “Everything’s going to be alright now, okay? The worst part is over now,” He whispered as he pressed his lips against my neck. I sighed and felt how my body slowly started to relax again. I hadn’t even realized how much I had tensed up.

We stood there, holding each other in silence until Erwin knocked on the bathroom door to tell us to hurry up. I blushed as I quickly pulled away from him as if I were afraid that Erwin would barge in here at any second.

Levi chuckled at my nervous reaction, before grabbing my hand and lacing our fingers together.

“Come on then,”

We headed down to the living room, where Krista and Ymir were sitting. They didn’t have any bags by their side, I noticed.

“What’s going on?”

“We’re not leaving,” Krista said resolutely. “Someone has to stay here with Annie.”

“But she’s…” I bit my tongue to stop myself from finishing the sentence. _But she’s not going anywhere. She’s dead._

“We know,” Ymir looked at me with a strange look on her face. “But it doesn’t feel right to leave her alone. She’s our friend, we have to look after her. Besides, what if wild animals try to…?” She didn’t finish the sentence, but she didn’t have to. My stupid, fucked up brain was already playing out a scenario where animals were ripping out her limbs and eating straight to the bone.

I wanted to throw up.

“But what if there’s someone out there? You won’t be safe here, all alone.” Erwin said, very matter-of-factly.

“It’s only four hours, right? We’ll manage.” Ymir said with a tone that told us not to try and persuade them anymore. They had made up their minds.

“Let’s go out to the car with our bags,” Levi suggested, tugging at my hand gently. I had completely forgotten that we were still holding hands. No one had noticed anything, but I supposed that made sense. One of our friends had just died, after all. There were bigger things to worry about than a new romance in our friend group.

_Stupid_ , I told myself. Not everything was about me.

“Okay,”

We headed outside with Erwin and placed our bags beside Hanji’s blue Toyota. I tried to ignore Annie’s corpse on the patio in front of the house, but at least Krista and Ymir had placed a blanket over her body to shield it. My bones cracked loudly as I sat down on the ground and leaned up against the side of the car. Levi kept standing, probably not wanting to get his pants dirty from the ground. I exhaled loudly and looked up at the sky that was turning darker by the minute. I should be feeling afraid, or at least be on guard, but I was too tired to feel anything at the moment. My body was probably still in shock, and right now it was screaming at me to let it sleep.

Soon, we would be getting out of here, and I could relax, I told myself. Just a few minutes longer…

It was when I turned my head to stare up at the cabin that I finally discovered it. Something was wrong.

“L-Levi… Are the tires supposed to look like that?” I asked hesitantly, as I reached out to touch the car’s front tire. It was completely flat. Like all the air had rushed out of it.

Levi became pale as he stared at where my hand was. Erwin and he then rushed around the car to check the rest of them. All were flat.

They went to check the other cars, but I already knew the answer to their search before they had the chance to say it out loud.

All the tires were flat.

_We were stranded here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. It's going to get a LOT worse. How are you guys holding up? Do you like how the story is progressing so far?   
> And who do you think will die next? I've already laid out some hints for it ... Did you notice?


	7. Footsteps

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My throat was clamping up, like small pebbles had gotten stuck inside and were now refusing to sink to my stomach. I could feel my heart rate starting to pick up, until it felt like it was about to burst from my chest. I could hear the blood pumping through my ears – _thump, thump, thump_ – and see my hands trembling. It was like my body was rapidly changing from being able to feel everything all at once, to then go completely numb.

I tried sucking in some air in a desperate attempt to clear the hazy cloud that was settling around my brain, before letting out a frightened sound when I realized that it wasn’t working.

“You should go tell the oth- shit, _Eren_!” I heard his voice and was able to see him fall down on his knees in front of me, but it felt like I had disconnected at the halfway point. His voice sounded like it was under water when he continuously kept calling my name, and I couldn’t feel his touch when he grabbed my wrists.

“Eren, hey, focus on me,” Was that a hint of desperation I was starting to hear in his voice? He sounded worried. Why was he worried again? I couldn’t remember.

“I think he’s having a panic attack. I’ll get a bag,” Erwin’s voice sounded further away.

I closed my eyes as I reached out for Levi. My hands found his upper arms, and I unintentionally dug in my nails, as if I desperately needed to cling to something, _anything_.

I suddenly felt hot and sweaty. When I opened my eyes again, it was like looking through a kaleidoscope. A handful of Levi’s were in front of me, and they all looked sick with worry.

_You’re dying,_ a voice in my head said. _This is what death feels like_.

And then someone was holding something in front of my mouth and told me to exhale.

_How?_ I asked silently. _There’s no air left in my lungs_.

“Eren, goddammit. Breathe with me,” Levi tore my hands from his arms and placed them on his chest. He took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly and loudly, making sure that I could hear what he was doing. I could feel his chest moving, up and down, in regular motions, and I tried to match it, I really tried.

It took about 2-3 minutes until my breathing was good enough for me to focus on holding the bag in front of my mouth by myself. Those minutes had felt like an eternity, and the next couple of minutes felt even longer. Levi forced me to keep staring into his eyes, refusing to break the connection before he was sure that I was okay.

“Levi, I-…”

“Shh,” He brushed my hair with his fingers. “Don’t speak now. Just focus on getting better,”

“But-…” I pointed over to the cabin, and the lack of people. Where were everyone? Levi seemed to understand what I meant immediately.

“Erwin’s gathered them inside. He’s informing them about the cars,”

I let out a broken cry as I was reminded of why I was in this state at all.

Our only possibility of safety had been taken from us. There was someone out there in the woods who had killed Annie, and probably Marco, in cold blood. What if he was some kind of psychopath who enjoyed killing us off one by one? We were just young and stupid college students, what the fuck was we supposed to do? Our only line of communication had been cut as well, which had meant that we had no chance of telling anyone about what was happening.

Our line of communication… Wait.

Shit. Why hadn’t anyone thought about this before?

“He’s been in the house,” I gasped, throwing the bag on the ground. I was done with the breathing exercises – all of my survival instincts were kicking in again. “Levi, shit, don’t you see? It’s like a fucking horror movie. He’s fucked with the cars, but the landline… He was in the house when we went out to swim!” I bit down on my thumb, one of my many bad habits when I was nervous. “Fuck, we need to check on Petra. _Now_!”

Levi didn’t say a word, but he helped me to my feet and I grabbed his hand as I started running inside.

“Petra! Where’s Petra?” I stressed out.

“Uh… She’s still asleep?” Sasha looked at me in confusion. I didn’t have time to look at anyone else before my body reacted on its own again. I let go of Levi’s hand as I sprinted down the hall to her room.

“Petra!” I yelled as I basically stormed inside the room. She was still lying on the bed with her back turned towards the door and a blanket draped over her legs and torso. I was about to feel bad for waking her up in such a dramatic fashion, but as the seconds went on, her lack of reaction became too worrisome.

“… Petra?” I took a step towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder to give her a gentle shake. “P-Petra?” I said again, my trembling voice already failing me.

_No._ This couldn’t happen again. No!

I pulled at her shoulder and her body tipped onto her back. She looked peaceful, but it would have fooled me if it hadn’t been for the copious amounts of blood that were covering her entire throat and chest.

There was a gaping hole right where her throat was supposed to be, and it looked like a grinning mouth with dark, thick blood drooling from its lips. My whole body flew back and I pushed myself up against the wall behind me, my heart going a thousand miles a second.

Krista was screaming before I even had the chance to. Loud gasps of fear and shock ran through the group of people that was quickly gathering in the door frame. Jean fell to his knees, finally realizing that the chances of finding Marco alive were closer to zero than ever before. If he had had any hope before, it was gone now.

The murderer had been in here. Now it was truly confirmed that there was someone out there, doing this to his. Terrorizing us. Killing us.

“I-I… I need to get out of here,” I whispered, before pushing my way through the crowd.

“Eren!” Someone called after me, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

My mind was filled with memories of Petra. How she always smiled so gently at me when we had hung out together. Her everlasting patience in our study group. Her big, golden eyes as she looked at me. Just yesterday, she had been so close to me. I had even had the chance to kiss her yesterday. On her rose-colored, plump lips. And now she was lying in there, and her lips had turned pale and dry.

The kind and sweet girl I knew was gone. The girl who liked me, the girl who had been a good friend whenever I was feeling down, who never thought twice about helping anyone.

_She’s dead_ , a voice said inside of me. _Why didn’t you save her?_

“Stop it!” I screamed, slamming a hand at my head to beat out the voices. I made my way to the living room and began walking in circles around the living room table.

How could I have known? There was no way I could have known.

_You should have listened to Jean. Not splashing around in the water. Not fooling around in the forest. If you had just acted a little faster…_

“F-Fuck,” I rubbed my hands together to stop them from shaking as my mind tried to find a loophole in the day’s events. It was so easy to tell myself what I should have done, but everything was easy in hindsight.

“Eren!” Levi grabbed my arm to stop my endless walking. I was pushed down onto the couch, followed by Levi as he placed himself beside me. “Calm down and tell me what the fuck’s happening inside your mind right now. You’re clearly not doing too good,”

“How are you not freaking out?!” I exclaimed at him. “How can you be so calm in this situation? Three of our friends are dead!”

Levi stared at me in silence and for a second, I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes.

“People experience shock and grief in different ways.” He informed me, and it was the first time that his voice had turned cold towards me.

I sheepishly looked down, ashamed. He was right, I had no right to decide how anyone should be acting right now.

“I’m sorry… I’m just freaking out. I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” I mumbled as I looked at my hands in my lap. Levi’s fingers snuck their way slowly into the palms of my hands, giving me a gentle squeeze.

“It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize… I know you’re just lashing out because of everything that’s happening. It’s a very normal thing to do,” He said. His words calmed me down some, and I leaned closer to place a small kiss on his cheeks.

“You’re too kind,” I muttered.

“Only to you,” He said, sending me a gentle smile.

Wait, what was that? A genuine smile from Levi? My eyes widened, which made his eyebrow tilt upwards.

“What’s wrong now?”

“You… You just smiled. I’ve never seen you smile before,” I said as I stared at him in disbelief. Had I just imagined it?

Levi let out a low chuckle.

“Stupid brat. I’m not a robot, you know. I _do_ know how to smile,”

I removed my hands from his so I could grab his neck instead to pull him closer.

“It’s beautiful. Do it again,” I pleaded.

“No thank you,”

“Please?”

“No,”

I stuck out my bottom lip to pout at him. But that just made him move forward to grasp it with his teeth and biting down gently on it. I let out a pained gasp and tried to move away, but he wasn’t letting me. His tongue slid over the spot were his upper teeth had just been before he tilted his hand and kissed me properly. I kissed him back for a short time, before I got a hold of his lips and had my revenge.

“Ah!” Levi gasped as he pulled back, placing to fingertips on his lip where I had bitten him. “Still got some spirit left in you, I see.”

I let out an amused laugh, before remembering the situation we were in. And suddenly I wasn’t feeling so good about fooling around with Levi anymore. I actually felt sick to my stomach.

I knew that he had tried to distract me from my own destructive behavior, and I was grateful for that, but it just felt wrong to sit here and kiss like nothing had happened.

Not when Petra was lying dead in her room just a few meters from here.

I was just about to say that we should go back to the others when everyone suddenly appeared in the living room as well. They were all arguing about something, and everyone seemed to have an opinion. Even Jean seemed to have been pulled out from his grief-like state.

“I won’t let you leave without me!” Sasha scowled at Connie, who were rolling his eyes at her.

“Dude, seriously? You _have_ to stay, you’re the only one who knows this area like the back of your hand!”

“Then that’s even more reason for me to go! I know the way?”

“And I don’t? You’ve brought me up here so many times with your dad! I might not know much, but I do know the fastest way to the town!”

“Please, Jean, you’re in no condition to-…” I suddenly heard Hanji say.

“Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t do!” Jean interrupted her angrily. “This is the last thing I can do for Marco. You can’t talk me out of it!”

I stared at Levi, and then back at all of them again.

“What’s going on?” I interrupted.

“We’re trying to decide who should go get help,” Hanji explained as she walked over to us. She sat down on the arm rest and let out a sigh. “Connie and Jean want to go.”

“Why don’t we all go?” I asked, puzzled.

“It’s already dark outside. We’re all tired, and a large group of people are slower than just two,” Connie butted in. “If it’s just me and Jean, we can make it much more quickly. We’ll even run if we have to.”

“Pff, you’ll run? In the dark? Through the forest?” Sasha said angrily, crossing her arms.

“Are you stupid? There’s a road going straight down!” Connie retorted, mimicking her movements.

“Yeah, for over 60 fucking miles!” She snapped back at him. “It’s going to take you just under a day to get there, unless you run all the way!”

Everyone tensed up at her words. The thought of having to stay here for another 24 hours was almost unbearable.

“Then we’ll run!” Jean suddenly yelled, hammering his fist against the wall to get our attention. “If no one has a better idea, then that’s what’s going to happen!”

People averted his daring eyes.

“Alright then!” Jean cleared his throat to stop himself from yelling any more. “Everyone should just stay inside and find some kind of weapons. We’re going to get the flashlights and make some food for the journey. Is anyone going to help, or are you just going to keep staring at the floor?”

“I’ll make the sandwiches for you,” A small, trembling voice said. Krista took a step forward. “I believe in you guys. I’ll try to be strong until you come back for us,”

Ymir placed a supportive hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah. What you guys are doing is really brave, you know that right? To go out there when someone could… Well, anyways. Thank you,” She bowed her head to them to show gratitude. Soon enough, everyone was doing it. Except for Sasha, who had stormed off in anger. She couldn’t accept that her best friend would put himself in danger’s way like that. Which probably just meant that she was scared and worried for him.

* * *

Jean and Connie had left two hours ago, with backpacks full of provisions and a pocketknife for both of them. All we had to do know was wait.

Sasha had helped find anything in the house that could be used as a weapon. She was still grumpy that she had to stay behind without Connie, but at least she was helping now. She had provided Levi, Krista and Ymir with a biggest knives from the kitchen. Bertholt and Erwin had gotten two rusty golf clubs from her dad’s old boxes in the basement, while Hanji and Reiner got the two axes that we had used the day before. I had taken it upon myself to find something, which turned out to be a long steel pipe, while Mikasa had done so as well, but she had found a baseball bat instead. Sasha had taken down the bow and arrows that had been hung proudly on the wall in her dad’s study. After all, she was the only one of us who knew how to use it.

We were only nine left now, out of the 15 people who had arrived, and that thought scared the shit out of me.

How many would we be before help arrived?

Erwin had gotten the great idea to gather all of us in the living room to keep us together. That meant that we had to carry the mattresses down from the attic, which was a hassle indeed, but at least it kept us occupied for a while. Ymir, Krista and Mikasa had taken the couch, and were already deep in a whispering conversation when I came back with the last mattress. Bertholt and Reiner had taken up the space near the fireplace, and they had even gotten some fire going inside of it. Hanji and Erwin had joined up with Levi on the mattresses that I had intended for me and him, which I had strategically placed behind some lounge chairs for privacy reasons. I placed myself at his side and looked at them questionably when they all turned silent.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Levi said, a little too quickly. I raised an eyebrow, not believing him at all. I was starting to learn his speaking and reaction patterns, and it was slowly becoming easier for me to figure him out.

“Tell me. What were you talking about just now? And why don’t you want to tell me?” I prodded as I scooted closer to Levi.

Hanji let out a snicker.

“We just wanted to hear how it’s been going between you too. Right now, we don’t have anything better to do, so we just wanted Levi to distract us a little with some romantic stories about you two,”

“I didn’t tell them anything,” Levi quickly assured me, before sending Hanji a deathly glare. “Stupid four-eyes over here just can’t help trying to stick her nose up my ass.” He said, before placing an arm lazily around my waist. I felt flustered by his carefree way of touching me in front of his friends, but I didn’t move away.

“I don’t mind them knowing, though.” My words spilled out before I could keep them in. I regretted it instantly though when I saw the look on Hanji’s face.

Levi let out a sigh and rubbed his temples with his free hand.

“Well, we’re pretty curious about you, actually.” Erwin spoke up first. “We knew that Levi had a thing for you, but we weren’t sure how you felt about him. So, imagine my surprise when I stumble into our bedroom this morning and see…”

“Oh, please god no!” I interrupted him, throwing a hand over my mouth to hide my horrified face. “D-Did you really see…”

“Oh, he saw. He saw a looooot,” Hanji grinned. I immediately buried my face in Levi’s neck, trying to hide my embarrassment. Erwin gave Hanji a nudge.

“Stop teasing the kid. Eren, I seriously didn’t see much. I was really hungover, and it was, like, 5 am in the morning… It’s honestly still kind of a blur. I think it’s actually the first time I am happy to have been hungover,” He chuckled. I peeked out from my hiding spot, still not quite ready to show my face.

Ugh. This was so embarrassing. We had been completely naked, not even with a blanket covering us because it had been so hot that night. Well, there were other things than just the heat that had been making us sweaty and warm, but that was beside the point. Man, I couldn’t believe that Erwin had seen me naked! I could die right now.

“I hate my life,” I whined.

“Don’t be dramatic.” Levi slapped my arm gently.

“So how did it happen?” Hanji repeated, bringing us back to the subject.

“W-Well… Levi and I got to talking when everyone had left yesterday. Levi scolded me for basically stealing his first kiss, and then got annoyed at me when I assumed that he was straight. And then he told me that he wouldn’t prefer to kiss any girls, he would much rather prefer to, um…” I stole a look at Levi, before blushing ever so slightly. “… To kiss me, I guess.”

“Smooth, Levi.” Erwin commented as he sent Levi a teasing wink. Levi rolled his eyes and groaned lowly. But he stayed silent, as if he were waiting for me to continue. I took a deep breath before continuing.

“So, um, I guess he confessed to me first. And I really wanted to tell him how I felt, but I was just too shocked to even say anything. I mean, imagine if you had liked someone for years, and then they tell you that they like you too? It just didn’t make sense in my head.” I chuckled lowly. “But Levi probably took my silence as rejection, so he told me to just ignore what he had just said. And that’s when I realized that he was serious, so I quickly told him that I also liked him. And then we started, well… Kissing and stuff.”

“ _And stuff._ ” Hanji grinned as she repeated my words with a teasing voice. I blushed again and retreated back to hide behind Levi’s neck, letting out an embarrassed groan.

“Okay, honestly, that’s just adorable.” She quickly added. “I can’t believe you’ve liked him for years and never done anything about it though!”

“Well…” I whispered. “Levi’s pretty intimidating,”

That made both Hanji and Erwin laugh.

“You’re making me sound like some scary boogey man that haunts children’s nightmares,” Levi rolled his eyes, but his voice sounded like he was pouting. “Am I really that bad?”

I held down a snicker as I raised my head to look at him. I placed a hand on his chest, caressing it with my thumb. “I don’t mind it. It’s kind of sexy,” I admitted, for a second forgetting that Hanji and Erwin were also there. Whenever I locked eyes with Levi, it felt like we were the only people in the world after all.

Levi’s mouth twitched ever so slightly upwards in a smirk, as he grabbed the back of my neck. We were both feeling an intense urge to kiss each other, but it was hard when we had an audience. My eyes flickered, which Levi understood immediately.

“You’ve gotten what you wanted, right? Fuck off then,” He sneered at them. Hanji and Erwin stared at each other, and then got up while suppressing their laughter. 

“Please use protection,” Hanji barely managed to whisper, before she had to jump out of the way to avoid Levi’s moving fist.

When we were finally alone, Levi let out a sigh.

“Those guys are so pestilent. Honestly, sometimes I don’t even know why- mmmffhhh…” His sentence was interrupted by my lips which were now occupying his as a result of my _very_ sneaky attack. I threw my arms around him and pulled him down onto the mattress, my fingers tracing over his undercut as I kissed him passionately.

Levi managed to pull away after a few seconds, trying to catch his breath.

“Don’t surprise me like that, stupid.”

“It was a nice surprise though, right?”

Levi rolled his eyes, before reaching out to mess up my hair with his right hand. I grinned and ducked, burying my face in his chest.

“Stoooop!” I whined as I grabbed his hand and pushed it down against the mattress. And just to be sure, I did the same to his other hand as well, pinning him down completely. “Heh. Now I’m in control.”

“You think you’re stronger than me, Jaeger?” Levi looked like I had just challenged him to a duel. I shrugged and tried to look innocent as I answered, “Well, I _am_ bigger than you, so…”

“Size doesn’t matter,” Levi retorted, before his legs suddenly wrapped around my waist and pulled me down on my side with them. I let out a surprised gasp as he had overpowered me in mere seconds, my arms now pinned down beside my head.

“How are you so – ah – strong?” I tried to catch my breath when I looked up at him.

“How are you not?” He answered my question with another, with a teasing smirk on his lips as he leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

I felt flustered all of a sudden. I wasn’t the most muscular guy out of our group, but I knew I wasn’t weak. I regularly went to the gym to do strength training with Mikasa and I always went running on Sunday mornings. Yet I apparently didn’t stand a chance against Levi, which was surprising because his body didn’t look like it. I wouldn’t have given it a second a second thought if it were Erwin or Reiner who had been able to do it, but Levi? He must have some type of knowledge of fighting techniques. Nevertheless, I had to admit it hurt my ego a little bit.

I was so deep in thought that I didn’t process what happened for several seconds before Krista’s screaming pulled me out of my state of mind.

All the light had gone out in an instant, leaving the room completely in the dark. Levi had been good at distracting me from the situation for a while, but now the feeling of dread slid over my entire body once more as I remembered that the power probably hadn’t gone out by itself. I held my breath, my whole body tensing up.

“L-Let go,” My voice cracked immediately, and Levi did so. The feeling of being pinned down while in complete darkness had tricked my head into thinking that I was utterly helpless and about to… I shook as we sat up. I didn’t want to finish that thought.

“What happened? Is he here?” Krista cried out. I looked over the lounge chairs that we had been hiding behind, until I saw a flashlight being turned on at the other side of the room. I could see Reiner and Bertolt to my left, who luckily still had the fire going, which was now slightly illuminating their part of the room.

“Calm down everyone. Head over to the fireplace,” I could hear Erwin say. He was apparently the one with the flashlight. We crawled over the floor to reach the other guys, as I didn’t want to leave myself vulnerable by getting up, in chance that someone would see me. My heart was beating so loudly that I had a hard time hearing what Bertholt said next.

“Sasha, where’s the fuse box? I think I can get the power back on if you show me where it’s placed,” Bertholt had always been good at electronics. He had spent last summer with his dad, who was an electrician, helping him with his work in Trost.

“I-I…” Sasha hesitated. From what I could see, she was scared. She probably just wanted to stay here, safe with us. But we all knew that we wouldn’t be safe for long if we didn’t have our sight. Who could protect themselves if they couldn’t see their attacker?

We only had one flashlight left, as Connie and Jean had gotten the other two, and when Sasha mustered up the courage to show Bertholt the fuse box in the basement, they left with it and thereby left us in the darkness.

I clung to Levi, who caressed my back silently, calm as ever. We all waited for them impatiently, holding our breaths as if we were afraid that the psychopath would find us merely by the sound of exhaling the air in our lungs. My fingers tightened their grip around the steel pipe I had found earlier, which was now my only protection if anything were to happen. I could see that the others held their weapons close to their bodies as well, their bodies tense and ready to go into fight-or-flight mode if need be.

There was a pungent smell of urine in the air. It didn’t take me long to guess that it came from Krista, whom Ymir was embracing at the moment. She was the only one of us that couldn’t keep quiet – her small sobs broke the silence every other second. I felt bad for her.

And, suddenly there was another sound that mixed together with Krista’s crying.

Footsteps. 


	8. Scream

Everyone held their breath as we waited in silence for what was to come. I felt like an animal in a cage, just waiting for death to come, instead of fighting against my destiny. I didn’t like that feeling. I wanted to at least do _something_ , instead of staying here like sitting ducks.

I began slowly moving away from Levi and made my way over the floor. Levi managed to grab my ankle before I could any further away, and I had to look back at him and shake my head. He mouthed the word “ _Stay_ ” but there was no way in hell I was going to let him convince me to do any of that. I yanked my foot free from his loose grip and hurried my way towards corridor where I thought I had heard the footsteps. I hid behind the wall, my knuckles turning white as my fingers unconsciously tried to squeeze the life out of the steel weapon in my hands.

My heart had crawled up in my throat as I stood there, waiting. If I squinted my eyes, it was possible to make out the outlines of people in front of me. Mikasa, Krista and Ymir were in front of the couch, which hid their presence well, while Erwin, Hanji and Reiner all were highlighted by the small fire from the fireplace. Levi had the best hiding spot of them all, as my eyes couldn’t find him at all. His small frame really gave him a good advantage when it came to hiding. I envied him.

Closer now. A few seconds more, and…

I took a deep breath before raising the steel pipe and swinging it violently at the figure that had appeared in the doorway. I put all of my strength into it, yet it didn’t get very far. Or, it actually hit the object that I wanted to hit. Instead, it swung full circle before bashing into the door frame, making a large bulge that was hard to ignore.

“Fuck, Eren, have you lost your freaking mind?!” Sasha screamed at me from the floor. Her and Bertholt were both down there, and it looked like Bertholt had his arms around Sasha as if he had tried to pull her down in time.

So, it wasn’t…? I blinked a few times, before regaining my understanding of the situation.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I thought it was the serial killer,”

“You could have killed me!” Sasha screeched, raising her leg to kick me. I winced, but I didn’t move. She had every right to, after all. What would have happened if Bertholt hadn’t reacted this fast? The bulge in the door frame would have been in Sasha’s head instead.

“I’m so sorry,” I apologized again, before reaching out a hand to help them get out. Even though Sasha sounded angry, she still grabbed it and let me help them up.

“Did the fuse box not work?” Reiner asked Bertholt, intervening in the situation. Everyone seemed to relax their shoulders again and everyone stood up.

“No, it was completely fucked up… I can’t fix it without any tools or wire,”

“So, there’s nothing we can do?” Mikasa asked, her expression cold and reserved as always, even in a situation like this.

“There is,” Sasha nodded slowly. “My dad has tools in the shed outside… Someone just have to go get them,”

I bit my lip as everyone turned quiet again. No one wanted to go outside, but someone had to. I was about to open my mouth to speak when Levi grabbed my wrist and yanked me closer to him.

“Don’t be an idiot.” He hissed at me under his breath.

“Of course, I’ll have to go. I’m the only one who knows what the things looks like,” Bertholt said. The group’s conversation still continued as Levi had pulled me away from it.

“Why?” I whispered back at him. “Someone has to do it. I’m no coward,”

“You shouldn’t go alone. You’ll need backup,” Reiner said as he threw an arm around Bertholt’s shoulders. “I’ve always helped you before, and this will be no exception,” He grinned at Bertholt, clearly trying to lighten up the mood in the room.

“You don’t have to prove yourself all the time. Give yourself a goddamn break, Eren. You’ve already been the first to discover two dead bodies today, your entire body and mind are already working overtime.” Levi whispered back.

“I’ll go too,” Mikasa nodded, her arms crossed as she stared at Reiner and Bertholt. “If something happens, I’ll handle it.”

No one doubted her statement. She was one of the strongest ones here, and her mind wouldn’t break under the pressure or anxiety. Everyone was already exhaling in relief over the thought of Mikasa going. It could only go well if she were there.

“Alright, that’s it then. We’ll go to the shed.” Reiner nodded.

“Wait!” I turned around, trying to pull away from Levi. I didn’t give a shit about proving myself, and I certainly wasn’t going to take a break. I wanted to give it my all, that was just the type of person I was. “I wanna go too,”

“No,” Mikasa immediately said, which made my temper go immediately from zero to a hundred. Mikasa had that effect on me. She wasn’t allowed to decide whether or not I should go. “Three’s good, but four people is a crowd. We’ll make too much noise, and it’ll make us lose the overview of the situation. You should stay,”

“But-“

“Eren, your sister is right.” Levi butted in. I sent him an annoyed glare. Why were everyone so keen on me staying behind? I just wanted to help.

“Fine,” I growled, clearly not happy with the decision, but I wasn’t stupid. I could feel the tension in the room, and it was obvious that everyone agreed with Mikasa.

She sighed lowly, before taking a step towards me.

“Can we talk before I go? In the kitchen, preferably.”

I took a deep breath to calm myself, still not happy about the whole situation, and certainly not in the mood for a conversation with Mikasa, but I still ended up nodding. No matter what, she was still my sister, and she was about to put herself in danger.

“Why are you doing this? If you’re trying to protect me again, then please just cut it out-“

“I’m not trying to protect you,” She interrupted me as we moved to the kitchen. “I’m trying to protect everyone, Eren.”

“That’s what I want to do as well!” I protested, throwing my hands up.

“Eren…” Mikasa’s voice turned soft as she grabbed one of my hands and squeezed it tightly. “I’m worried about you. You’ve been through so much already… I just want to know how you’re doing,” She said, changing the subject.

I wanted to pull away my hand, but she looked determined about not letting go, so I let out a sigh instead. How was I doing? Honestly? I hadn’t even thought about it. I had been in survival mode for the last couple of hours and the adrenaline rush had done most of the heavy lifting. But I did have that meltdown outside by the cars, so I suppose I wasn’t in the best shape at the moment. Even though Levi had been by my side for most of the time to calm me down, I was still struggling.

“Three of my best friends are dead. How do you think I’m doing?” I sighed, rubbing my temples with my free hand. “It’s frightening to face death like this. But it’s not that I’m afraid of dying, I think. I just hate feeling so useless. I couldn’t do anything to help Marco, Annie, or Petra… So right now, I just want to focus on making sure that everyone else is safe. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt,”

Mikasa looked at me for a long time before she spoke again.

“And what if someone else get hurt? How will you feel then?” She whispered, her voice sounding like it was about to break.

“That…” I paused, staring at her. She seemed on edge. Maybe she was more afraid of going on this mission than she was letting on?

“I won’t let that happen.”

“… And what if you get hurt?” Mikasa’s eyes looked watery now, like she was about to start crying at any moment. It was a rare sight to see Mikasa this shaken up, and my brotherly instinct immediately kicked in as I pulled her into my embrace.

“That’s not going to happen,” I whispered as I held her tightly. All my anger and annoyance seeped out of me as I held her, and I completely forgot how frustrated she had made me mere minutes ago. Mikasa was usually so strong mentally, and I couldn’t let her lose that now. Now, more than ever, she needed to pull herself together.

“I’m sorry that I got mad at you earlier,” She mumbled, her face buried in my shirt. “I just got so shocked seeing you and Levi together, and I guess I felt betrayed that you didn’t tell me about it…”

“It’s okay. That’s over now, I’m not mad at you anymore,” I told her. I was technically still annoyed at her overprotective behavior that made it feel like she didn’t approve of anyone that got close to me, but I guess I couldn’t fault her for that. Not after everything we had gone through in our childhood together.

She nodded, and I soon felt her shoulders lower and relax.

“I wish Armin were here. He’d know what to do,” I sighed as I pulled away from her. “On the other hand, I’m happy that he’s not here. At least he’s safe.”

“Mmhmm,” She agreed as she dried her the corner of her eyes with her fingers. Good thing that she didn’t wear make-up. It was impossible to see that she had been close to crying.

“I love you. I’ll be back soon, so please be safe until then,” She told me, sending me a weak smile.

“I love you too. I will.”

“And…” She was about to turn around when she stopped. “I know that you like Levi, but… Please be careful. There’s something… not quite right about him. I have a really bad feeling about him, so just… Watch out, okay?”

I wanted to tell her to mind her own business and stop saying nonsense about Levi, but I didn’t want to get into a fight with her again, so I just nodded reluctantly.

“Okay,”

We headed back into the living room and Mikasa went over to Reiner and Bertholt to head out. I went over to Levi who were leaning up against the dinner table, his arms crossed. Hanji and Erwin were there as well, but they seemed completely caught up in a deep conversation. Krista and Ymir were nowhere to be seen. The sliding doors to the back yard slid up, and Mikasa and the others hurried outside, and then we were alone. I needed to distract myself, otherwise I was going to be worried all the time they would be gone.

“Hey,” I muttered as I placed myself by his side, lifting my body up to sit on the table. “Where’s Krista and Ymir?”

“The poor girl needed to take a shower. They went to their room,” Levi shrugged. He didn’t really look at me, which worried me. He seemed irritated.

“Oh,”

I stared at him in awkward silence. What was going on? From what I could remember, I hadn’t done anything to piss him off.

“Are you mad at me?” I grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged on it gently to get his attention. I could hear how Hanji and Erwin slowly stopped talking, and I knew that they were listening to our conversation, but I didn’t care. I only cared about Levi and what he thought of me right now. I wanted to know what I had done wrong so I could fix it.

“No,” He said, but his voice sounded hard and distant. I didn’t believe him. I tugged on his shirt a little harder, trying to get him to look at me.

“Are you mad because I didn’t listen to you? You can’t really expect me to-“

“Are you stupid? Seriously, how stupid are you?” He interrupted as he turned his head to stare at me with cold eyes.

“I’m not-“

“Why can’t you think of yourself just for once? How are you supposed to protect others if you can’t even properly protect yourself?” He scolded me angrily, though his voice was still hushed.

“I can-“

“No, you _can’t_! You can’t even think! You just want to jump into a dangerous situation with no thought of your own safety and-“

“Let me speak goddamn it!” I yelled out, giving his shoulder a small shove. “It’s fine if you think I’m stupid. I don’t care. All I know is that I couldn’t live with myself if I knew that I hadn’t done everything in my power to help the ones I love. You want me to just stay inside and let everyone else do the heavy lifting? Fuck no. How am I supposed to look at myself in the mirror every day from now on, knowing that I could have done something to save one of my friends? Fine if you think my brain is empty. I’d rather be dumb than not have the courage to protect you,”

Levi pressed his lips together as he listened to my words. When I finished, we stared at each other for so long that it became clear none of us wanted to be the first to look away. But then Levi finally let out a sigh and turned his head.

He didn’t reply, and when the first minute of silence had passed, I got up.

“Fine, be that way. If you can’t accept me for who I am, then that’s it then.”

That was a big fat lie. It wasn’t fine. I wasn’t okay with it. But anger had clouded my judgement once more, and I soon found myself walking away from him. I hated this, but what could I do? If he really couldn’t accept me for who I was, then I just had to accept the fact that we couldn’t be together. I wanted him to like me for the person I was, with all my flaws as well. I didn’t want to be a fake, perfect version of myself. Besides, he saw my courage as one of my weaknesses while I saw it as one of my biggest strengths, and that was a problem in itself.

I placed myself on the couch, close to the fireplace, so I had the terrace door in my view at all times. From the corner of my eye I could see Levi stand up and walk out of the room, and I had to force myself to stay in place. I wanted to go after him, to try and talk some sense into him, but I knew that would be a lost battle from my end. He didn’t want to talk to me, that much was clear.

 _Fine,_ I thought to myself bitterly. _Be that way. I don’t need your approval. I don’t need you to accept me._

I sat there in silence, continuously trying to convince myself that I didn’t care about what Levi thought of me, until I could feel my legs aching. I couldn’t just sit around anymore, I had to keep moving about. I was about stand up when I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks. A distant scream ripped through the air, and my whole body tensed up. My first thought was the girls upstairs, but the scream had sounded like it came from further away. It came from… Outside.

I pulled myself out of my frozen state and looked at Hanji and Erwin who had also gotten up. We stared at each other in silence, before looking at the terrace door.

“What should we do…?” I asked them, hoping that they had an answer. But before they could say anything, Reiner and Bertholt suddenly bolted through the terrace door and slammed it shut. They were both panting and gasping for air, their faces pale with horror.

“What happened?!” I immediately demanded to know. “Where’s Mikasa?!”

“W-We don’t, ha—” Reiner bent over and placed his hands on his knees, his eyes darting quickly from side to side. “D-Don’t know…”

I stared at both of them, my hands turning into fists. Reiner looked like he was completely disoriented, while Bertholt looked… Ashamed. What the fuck had happened out there?

“What happened to her?!” My voice once more cut through the silence. It felt like they couldn’t bear to tell me what happened. It felt like they wanted to lie to me, and I wasn’t going to have any of that. I wasn’t about to give them time to think. “Where is she?!”

“It was so d-dark… One moment she was right behind me, and the next… She j-just disappeared…” Bertholt tried to talk through his rapid breathing. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself down.

“Why didn’t you try to find her? Or did you just run back here with your tail between your legs immediately after?!”

Both of them averted my darting eyes, and I could feel how my whole body filled with rage.

“Eren,” Hanji tried to say with a calm voice. “There’s a psychopath outside. You can’t blame them for being scared…”

“The hell I can’t!” I screamed at her, before turning to the guys again. “She’s my sister! You were supposed to have her back!”

“Eren,” I heard Levi speak from behind me. I turned around to see him stand in the doorframe, his arms crossed. “You can’t expect everyone to be the same as you,”

I gritted my teeth, before walking over to the couch to grab the steel pipe that I had left there.

“You’re all fucking cowards.” I hissed, though I was looking at Levi as I said so. I then turned to walk to the terrace door that Reiner and Bertholt were standing at.

“Eren!”

As I had turned my back to him, Levi had run up to grab my arm, preventing me from going further. He pulled me back a step and forced me to look at him. But before he could say anything, I had already yanked my arm free. He didn’t know how strong I could be when I wanted to.

“Do you really want me to just accept it and sit back? She could still be alive! I have a duty to try and save her!” I yelled at him, before opening the door. “She’s my sister. I’m only doing what’s right,”

And with that, I ran out the door before anyone else had the time to intervene or hold me back. The cold night air rushed through my hair as I ran towards the outline of the shed. I didn’t have a flashlight, so I could only hope that my eyes would soon adjust to the darkness.

“Mikasa!” The sound of my voice broke the silence outside. I stopped for a moment to listen to my surroundings, hoping for anything that could point me in the right direction. But I could only hear the small buzzing sound of insects and a distant cry of an owl.

I blinked twice, before running off again. I had nothing but my instincts to go on. If someone had grabbed her from behind, she would have struggled. There would have been a fight. And the killer wouldn’t have gotten far with her. She should be nearby… right?

I searched the area as quietly as I possibly could, before noticing a few broken branches on the forest floor. It didn’t seem like two people had been fighting here, but at least it showed that someone had moved through the area. I tried to move along silently, trying to calm my breath as I kept watch. The realization of what I was doing was slowly settling in me.

All I had was the pipe for protection, and would that be enough? The temperature was low, and my body was already shivering from the lack of warmth. I was only wearing a t-shirt after all. Not to mention that I was all alone in the woods.

Had Levi been right? Was I stupid for trying to think that I could make a difference? That I could do something at all? I understood that he was afraid that my actions would make me the next victim, and for all I knew, he could be right.

But nevertheless, I was still convinced that I was doing the right thing here. I’d rather fight to the bitter end.

“Mikasa! Call out!” I yelled again, but to no avail. For a moment I just stood still before I finally realized that I was alone out here.

“ _Fuck,_ ” I mumbled to myself, before leaning up against a tree. I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a frustrated groan. I needed to think, to analyze the situation. They couldn’t have gotten far, after all. He couldn’t have killed Mikasa yet because there had been no sign of her body anywhere. So why wasn’t she answering me? Had he drugged her or maybe made her unconscious somehow? Clearly, he was on foot, so why weren’t there any visible clues for me to notice? My eyes had already adjusted to the dark, so it wasn’t because I couldn’t see it properly.

And then I heard a sound. My body tensed up as I held my breath and listened intensively. It wasn’t far away, and it sounded like it was coming from my left side. My whole body screamed for me to run straight towards it, but I forced myself to sneak through the trees slowly. I had to be smart about this. My knuckles turned white as I clutched the steel pipe tightly, ready to attack at any moment.

I moved closer, before realizing that the sound wasn’t human. It was some kind of animal, growling loudly. I peaked out from behind a thick tree only to see a large wolf-like creature that was bent over something. I held my breath as I tried to squint my eyes to see what the hell it was so focused on.

And then I saw it. It had been ripped apart several places, and blood had stained it, but it was still clear to see.

An arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren's break-up, Mikasa's disappearance, Reiner and Bertholt's cowardice, a mysterious torn-off limb... Things are certainly spicing up.
> 
> What do you think will happen next? Do you think Mikasa is gone for good? Is Levi in the wrong or is Eren? Let me know your theories! I've already read some really good ones about who the killer is, so I'm looking forward to more :D


	9. If Only I Had Stayed

I lost every rational sense of mind as I rushed forward, the steel pipe raised up in the air.

“Get the fuck away!” I screamed at the animal, before swinging my weapon at it. It let out a loud shriek, before sprinting away without looking back to see its attacker. I breathed out loudly as the adrenaline rushed through my veins. I squatted down and stared at the torn-off arm in front of me. It was bigger than Mikasa’s, I noticed immediately, which made me almost dizzy with relief.

But then I noticed the ring on the finger. The moonlight was reflected in the silver, blinding me for a moment before I reached forward to remove it from the bloody finger.

It was the ring Jean had given Marco for their second-year anniversary.

Before I knew it, I was throwing up.

I had suspected it from the first time we had been out looking for him, but now that the realization of his fate was clear to me, I became overwhelmed with disgust and horror. Poor, poor Marco… What in the world had happened to him?

I wiped my mouth, before falling down on my ass. I stayed there for a long time, deep in my thoughts as I stared at the bloody limb before me. It hadn’t even dawned on me that I was still in danger by just being here.

I felt defeated. I felt overwhelmed. I felt… Everything. It was almost impossible to describe what was going through my head for the time I had been sitting there. I didn’t want to go back empty-handed, but I knew that I wasn’t going to find Mikasa. And that thought was killing me. Of all people, who had the strength to take away my sister?

I wish I had gone with them to the shed. If I had just been there… Maybe I could have prevented it?

I bit my lip as I felt the tears pressing at the back of my eyes. I couldn’t keep them in, and honestly? I didn’t want to. I let myself cry, let all of the pent-up anger and frustration and sadness seep out of me as I raised my head to face the stars.

I was still sobbing by the time someone called out my name in the distance. I ignored the call, not yet ready to face reality. But then it came closer, and I hid my face in my knees. I knew that whoever it was, they could hear my sporadic sobs and cries, so I didn’t bother to try and let them know my location. They’d find me sooner or later.

I didn’t move when someone finally placed a hand on my shoulder, caressing it gently.

“Eren…” Levi’s voice was soft and kind, which just made me want to cry harder. I felt his arms wrap around me from behind, his one arm sneaking its way around my chest, while the other wrapped itself around my arms that were resting on my knees. I felt his head rest on my back, just below my neck. He didn’t say anything else for a long time, he just let me cry in peace as he gently caressed my arms and chest. When I finally stopped making any sounds, other than breathing, I felt his head lift from my body.

“Are you okay?”

I shook my head silently without looking up. I wasn’t ready to face him yet.

“Can you move? Are you hurt?”

I shook my head again. Levi stayed silent for a minute or so before I felt his arms disappear from my body.

“Look at me,” His voice was in front of me now, I could tell. He placed his hands on my wrists, gently tugging at them to make an opening to my head. I struggled against him, stubbornly still trying to hide. I had been ugly crying and probably looked like a mess. It should have been the last thing for me to worry about, but I still did. After all, Levi was still my crush. I didn’t want him to see me like this, my face probably smeared with snot.

“Hey. Look at me, Eren.” His voice sounded a bit sterner now, but still gentle enough. He kept trying to pull at my arms until I finally stopped struggling and let him. I lifted my head slowly, but I still looked down at the ground instead of at him.

“Eren…” Levi sighed at the sight of me. I felt his thumb and finger grab my chin and lift my head until our eyes met. I sniveled pathetically as I looked at him through my eyelashes that were thick and heavy from the tears. “Tell me what’s going on with you,”

“M-Marco… He’s dead. Some animal was eating a part of his arm, a-and… Mikasa is gone. I couldn’t f-find her…” I wiped my snotty nose with my sleeve, before letting out a deep exhale. “… And you think I’m s-stupid…” I added, before letting out another broken sob.

“I’m sorry about Marco,” Levi began as he caressed my right cheek slowly. “But Mikasa isn’t a goner yet. She’s a fierce and strong woman, and I’m sure she won’t be taken down that easily. And for that last part…” Levi moved closer to place a long kiss on my left cheek. “… I don’t think you’re stupid. You just do things that I don’t necessarily agree with, but that doesn’t mean that I think any less of you. Whatever I said before were only words of anger because I was worried about you. I just want to protect you and keep you safe, and you’re making that damn hard for me,”

I let out a hollow laugh at his attempt of a joke, before reaching out to grab his shirt. He felt warm, which only reminded me of how cold I was.

“That’s what I’ve kept telling myself… She wouldn’t just go down without a fight. It just doesn’t make any sense that I can’t find her though…” I bit my lip nervously, before leaning closer to him. Now it was him who was radiating heat, and I was attracted to it like a moth to a flame. Levi seemed to understand because he had soon wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his embrace.

“I really thought that you didn’t want to be with me because of it…” I whispered as I rested my head against his chest with my eyes closed. “You seemed like you had made up your mind already…”

“Under these circumstances, you should take everything with a grain of salt. We’re all on edge, including me, and that can surely affect the way I say certain things,” Levi explained calmly.

“Then how come you’re saying all the right things now?” I whispered, still clutching to his shirt with both hands. It felt so calming to be able to hear his heartbeat and feel his warmth. It didn’t matter that we were both very much exposed right now because I felt safe in his arms.

He didn’t answer me, instead, he just kept caressing my neck slowly. When enough time had passed, and both our bodies started to ache from the awkward sitting position we were in, we both got up.

“What should we do with… _that_?” I asked, pointing at Marco’s body part on the ground before us.

Levi looked at it calmly, before taking off his shirt and folded it over it. When it had been wrapped in the fabric properly, he took it up and held it in his arm like a baby. “Let’s go,” He muttered as he reached out his hand. I took it without hesitation, and we began the journey home in silence.

I kept Marco’s ring in my other hand all the way back, unsure of what else to do with it. Jean deserved to have it, though I wasn’t looking forward to giving it to him.

_If I would even make it far enough for them to come to rescue us._

Levi nudged the terrace door open with his shoulder so that he wouldn’t have to let go of my hand – or Marco’s for that matter – and we hurried inside and locked it after us. I prepared myself for the others to start scolding me for leaving, or ask what Levi was holding, both no one seemed to be there.

The living room was completely empty.

Levi and I shared a look as both our hands squeezed the others. He looked just as confused as I was, which meant that they had probably still been there when he had left to find me.

And then we heard the sound of crying.

“What’s going on?” I whispered, trying not to sound as frightened as I was.

“Let’s go check it out,” Levi whispered back, before placing down the package in his arm on the floor. We hurried to the corridor and went up the stairs where the crying came from. It was louder now, and it sounded like several people were letting out similar sounds.

I could feel my whole body fill with dread. Something had happened while I had been gone.

Something I might have been able to stop if I had just been here. God, how could I be this stupid? Running off on my own to try and save one, while leaving the rest behind without help. I knew I couldn’t be two places at once, but it still frustrated me to no end that it felt like I was getting more and more useless. I couldn’t do anything.

My fears were confirmed as we spotted the open door to Krista and Ymir’s room. I began running, unconsciously pulling Levi with me as we hurried to the door opening.

The sight before us could make even the most seasoned soldier weak in their knees. So it came to no surprise to see both Hanji, Sasha, Bertholt, and Reiner on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

Ymir was on the floor, leaning up against the door to the bathroom. Her eyes were still open, staring at the bed in front of her, but there was no life in them any longer. It didn’t look like she had gone down without a fight because there was blood everywhere. But it was too dark to see where on her body it was seeping out from.

Krista was a whole other case though. She was lying on the bed, with Erwin hovering over her torso. He was holding something in his hands and pressing it down onto her stomach.

“What the hell…” I gasped at the scenario. Erwin’s head darted up, his eyes red and his face pale as he stared at us.

“S-She's still alive…” He managed to tell us through his ragged breathing. “But I can’t seem to stop the bleeding.”

“You’re doing it wrong,” Levi said, immediately hurrying over to him and leaving me at the door. My body had frozen up and I was unable to do anything other than stare at the macabre scene before me. Erwin moved away to let Levi take over, and his hands worked quickly.

That’s when Krista opened her eyes and started screaming and thrashing around.

“NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!” She screamed at Levi. Her broken voice would haunt my nightmares later. There was only fear in her eyes as she tried to get away from Levi. “PLEASE, NO, _DON’T HURT ME_!”

“Somebody hold her down!” Levi yelled at us, completely unfazed by her screams that were directed at him. “She won’t survive if she keeps moving like this!”

Erwin had looked like a deer in headlights when she had begun screaming, but he now quickly came to his senses and grabbed her arms. Levi placed himself on top of her thighs, straddling her to contain her movements, as he tried to still hold down the fabric on her stomach.

Krista didn’t keep screaming for long, though it felt like forever. Her body soon collapsed again and for a moment I thought she had truly died.

“I-Is she…?” Sasha whispered, asking the question before I had the chance to pull myself together to do the same.

“She just passed out. Probably from the pain,” Levi informed us, before starting to delegate tasks. Someone should get him towels and water. Someone should help him carry her down to the living room. Someone should find the medical kit.

Everyone got up, some faster than others, and started helping out. But I just kept standing there, looking at Krista and Levi who were still on top of her. There was something that kept nagging at me. A thought that I couldn’t quite shake off.

_Why had Krista started screaming like that when she had seen Levi?_


	10. It's Okay To Be Hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 11 hours until rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’M STARTING THE COUNTDOWN NOW

Reiner and Erwin carried Krista’s unconscious body down to the living room while Levi walked beside them, keeping his hands on Krista’s stomach. Sasha and Bertholt had gotten water, towels, and the medkit that they had prepared downstairs, so it was only Hanji and I that hadn’t done anything useful. We stayed in the room, frozen in place, with only Ymir’s dead eyes to stare at. It felt like she was staring back.

Was I just being paranoid? Of course, Levi didn’t have anything to do with this. He could never… Krista must have been delirious from the shock and pain she had gone through. Yes, that was it.

 _But what if Krista was screaming because she was looking into the eyes of her murderer?_ My stubborn brain kept nudging at me. _What if it’s been Levi all along, and you’ve been too blind to see it?_

“No!” I yelled out in the empty room. Hanji stared at me with large eyes full of fright and confusion. I bit my lip and scolded my inner self. I needed to stop these destructive thoughts of mine. They weren’t helping anyone, all they did were making me seem like I was going crazy.

“S-Sorry…” I rubbed my neck. “I feel like I’m really starting to lose it…” I confessed to Hanji. I didn’t mind her knowing – after all, she was a good friend. And a good listener.

“Me too…” She muttered as she got up off the floor. “I’m scared shitless,”

She began pulling off the bedsheets, before throwing over Ymir’s body to cover it up. She then turned to look at me with a strange look in her eyes.

“Am I the only one who feels like it gets easier? I mean, hear me out, it’s horrible that Ymir’s gone, but… When we first found Annie, I was puking shit everywhere. I was a complete mess… When we found Petra, it was still terrible, but now? I’m still overwhelmed with sadness and I’m still scared as hell, but… I just have this heavy feeling in my stomach now. It feels like it’s full of rocks, and strangely enough, I’m hungry. Is it strange that I threw up when we found the first body, but now I’m hungry after this? Is that fucked up?” Hanji stared at me, clearly desperate for some sort of answer from me. I didn’t know what to tell her to comfort her. Of course, it sounded fucked up. But then again, who was I to judge?

“I wanted to scream at the entire world when I first found Annie. I was so full of emotions, but now… I feel empty. I have no words to say.” I told her. “So no, I don’t think it’s fucked up… I think our brains are trying to cope the only way it knows how. I think we’re beginning to run on fumes, and our brain is trying to come up with ways to protect us before we completely collapse.”

Hanji’s hands were shaking as she reached out to give me a hug.

“Thank you,” She whispered.

“Let’s get something to eat,” I replied. She let out a burst of hollow laughter at that, before pulling away. We went down to the kitchen to make some sandwiches for everyone, not just ourselves. Hanji didn’t say anything as we worked, and neither did I. We stayed in the kitchen in silence, and when we had finished preparing the food, strangely enough, none of us moved. We just stood there in the dark, bathed in moonlight and silence.

It was Hanji who spoke up first.

“We’re survivors now. No matter what happens, we push through. We fight. We overcome. Our brains tried to reject what happened at first, tried to protect us, but we still broke. And then we healed. Every time I realized that I had lost a precious friend of mine, something inside of me broke. But the beautiful thing about humans is that every time we break, we manage to put ourselves together again. And every time we break after that, it becomes a little easier to fix ourselves.”

I stared at Hanji in the dim light from the moon outside and tried to blink the tears away that were forming in the corners of my eyes. Sometimes I forgot that Hanji was more than just intelligent. She was much wiser than I had given her credit for.

“It’s okay for you to be hungry because that means your mind is strong enough now to not let the fear take over. You’re not as easily swayed by it any more… And that’s a good thing?” I replied, my voice small and hesitant. This was my way of understanding what she had meant.

“Exactly,” She sent me a small smile. “It’s okay to be hungry,”

“It’s okay to be hungry…” I repeated her words as if I had to remind myself one more time. To knock it into my head before it escaped me. I suddenly grabbed a sandwich from the table and started to shove it into my mouth. It was an aggressive gesture, but Hanji knew what was up. She grabbed one as well and ate it just as eagerly as I had. I let out frustrated groans as I ate, trying to breathe properly as I shoved the dry bread down my throat. I huffed before looking at Hanji, catching a glimpse of something similar to sympathy in her eyes.

That’s when I realized that I was crying again.

* * *

We placed the tray of sandwiches on the dinner table before walking over to the others. Levi had patched up Krista’s stomach as well as he possibly could, and now Sasha was sitting on the armrest, hovering over Krista’s head as she pressed a cold, wet cloth against her cheeks and forehead. Her breath was ragged and sporadic and her face looked flushed.

Would she even survive the night? I wanted to have hope, but it was difficult when I was looking at the bulge where her stomach was. It looked _very_ wrong on her small frame.

“H-How is she…?” I whispered as if speaking at a normal volume would wake her up or something. I stared at Levi who was cleaning his hands with a wet cloth. His movements were very meticulous and thorough, which didn’t surprise me. He hated getting dirty, that was one of the first things I learned about him.

“All her organs are spilling out. I’ve tried to contain it for now, but the poor thing must be in terrible pain. I’ve heard that it’s one of the most painful ways to die,” Levi muttered, almost as if he were more talking to himself than to me.

“Shut up!” Sasha suddenly exclaimed, which made everyone jump. I stared at her in disbelief. Sasha would have never dared to speak to Levi like that as she had always been very intimidated by him.

Levi blinked a few times, looking like he didn’t understand what he had done wrong.

“She’s not dead yet, you asshole! Don’t speak as if we’ve already lost her!” She hissed at him, her eyes shooting daggers at him. We all held our breath in silence, not sure where to go from here. Levi looked as if he wasn’t sure if he should be angry, apologetic, or shocked. He just stared at Sasha for a few seconds, before looking away.

“You’re right. She’s here and she’s breathing.” He replied. “We’ll do everything we can to save her,”

My stomach turned, and my hands shot down to place themselves on it, trying to calm itself. I decided to blame the sandwich from before for giving me this reaction since I had probably gulped it down too quickly.

I wished Mikasa were here. I could easily imagine her noticing my movements and immediately ask if I was okay. She was always so motherly in her treatment of me, which usually annoyed the fuck out of me, but now it was the only thing I wanted right at this moment. I tried to stop myself from imagining my own guts spilling out of my stomach, so I kept my chin up to prevent myself from looking down at it. I had always had a very creative imagination.

“We need to sit down at talk this through properly,” Erwin interrupted the awkward silence. “Everyone should come to the table.”

“I’ll listen from here,” Sasha said immediately. I knew already that she would probably stay by Krista’s side all night long, maybe even to the extent of ignoring her body’s needs.

“We made sandwiches,” I spoke up, though my voice sounded small in comparison to Sasha and Erwin’s. They both seemed fired up for some reason. So determined.

“The killer finally fucked up,” Erwin said as we gathered around the table. Me, Reiner and Bertholt on one side, while Erwin was in front of us with Levi and Hanji on either side.

“What do you mean?” Bertholt muttered.

“This,” Erwin grabbed something from his pocket and slid it over the table in front of us. “Not only did they not manage to kill Krista as they had planned, but they also got sloppy. Left us a clue.”

He removed his hand to reveal a brownish-colored button.

“A button?” Levi huffed, before rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. “What if it’s just Ymir’s or Krista’s?”

Erwin shook his head.

“Ymir wasn’t wearing clothes that had buttons on them, and I already checked Krista’s shirt. It’s not missing any, ergo, it’s the from the killer.”

“And what will we do with it?” Levi didn’t seem convinced. “Go around asking all of the people around the neighborhood if they’re missing a button?”

I didn’t like his pessimism or the sarcastic tone of his voice. But he had a point.

“Levi’s right… How are we supposed to use this to our advantage?”

“Don’t you guys understand?” Hanji spoke up, pushing up her glasses with one finger. “The clues don’t really matter. It’s all about the fact that the guy left them here in the first place. He’s getting desperate and that means he’s making mistakes.”

“Exactly. I have a theory,” Erwin looked like he was smirking as he talked. His eyes were big and bright, and they were firing me up as well. His determination was infecting me. “The killer thought they could kill us off one by one. He probably didn’t think that we would go searching for Marco that fast and that we would find Annie in the process. He’s smart though since he so quickly cut off our ways of escape and communication, but that doesn’t change the fact that his whole plan started going south the moment we all gathered in here and sent Connie and Jean on their way.”

“That makes sense!” Hanji exclaimed excitedly, hammering her hands down into the table. “Yes, it all makes sense now! We’re still too large of a group for him. He wants to kill in peace, with as little struggle from the victims as possible – That’s why he failed with Ymir and Krista. They were only two, but they still managed to put up enough of a fight to scare him away before he could finish Krista off.”

“But…” Reiner was trying just as hard as I was to keep up with their words. “That doesn’t explain what happened with Mikasa. We were three, after all…”

Everyone turned to look at me for answers, for which I had none.

“If I had found her, I would have brought her back,” I snapped at them.

“Which means that she wasn’t killed immediately. The theory still makes sense if we take into account that the killer was trying to remove her from the group to kill her elsewhere…” Hanji blurted out, before hesitating. She looked at me for a moment, like she suddenly remembered that I was her brother. “… Well, there’s still a chance that he hasn’t killed her yet. Since Eren didn’t find her body anywhere…”

I tried to ignore the lump in my throat as I pulled out the ring from my pocket and placed it on the table.

“I didn’t find Mikasa, but I did find Marco. Or, well, a part of him…” I muttered. “It’s confirmed now. He’s gone too.”

No one seemed too surprised, but they did seem extremely saddened by the news. We sat in silence for an appropriate amount of time before Levi cleared his throat.

“So the killer is getting desperate since he knows that he now has a deadline. And that’s why he took the chance to kidnap Mikasa and to try killing Ymir and Krista, even though they were in a group of two and three?”

“Yes!” Erwin and Hanji said in perfect unison.

Okay, they were officially freaking me out with how in sync they were. It was like they knew what the other person would say before they said it. Like they could read each other’s thoughts.

“So we basically just have to stay in groups of at least three?” Levi asked.

“Well, in a perfect world, we would just stay in the living room together. And not leave until help arrives.”

“Oh, so you don’t take a shit in a perfect world? Because I sure as hell ain’t inviting two people to go with me to the bathroom every time I have to go,”

“Of course. You don’t take shits in a perfect world,” Hanji replied. It sounded like she was teasing him.

“Bullshit. You’re making it sound like you don’t like shitting,”

“Who does?”

“Taking a shit feels just as good as an orgasm, just admit it already.”

“Poor Eren. Did you just say sex with him is as good as shitting?” Hanji gasped dramatically. This conversation had really taken a turn for the weird. I knew they were just bickering to lighten up the mood, but I still felt on the spot when Hanji had suddenly mentioned my name. Sasha, Reiner, and Bertholt all turned their heads to look at me in shock.

“What?!” I asked defensively.

“You… You’re having sex with Levi?!” Reiner exclaimed, clearly shocked. “I-I mean, I had noticed that you guys were getting chummy with each other, but I just thought that this fucked up situation we’re in had brought you closer together…-“

“When the fuck did you have time to have sex?!” Sasha interrupted. I blushed, while Levi just snapped back at her with, “None of your fucking business,”

“Come on, Eren. Spill the tea,” Even Bertholt joined in now. “We need the distraction.”

“I-I…” I hesitantly looked at Levi for confirmation, but he had his arms still crossed and his eyes fixed on the wall at the opposite end of the room. I sighed. “There’s really nothing much to say. We got together the first night, before… Well, before everything started going south.”

“Ohhhh… I knew that Truth or Dare was a good idea! Really brings people together,”

 _Half of those people aren’t even here anymore_ , my brain retorted bitterly.

“Yeah, well… that’s all. Can we get back to the topic at hand?” I quickly muttered, before starting to nibble on one of my nails.

Hanji snickered at my reactions. Bertholt and Reiner were smirking as if they were happy on my behalf.

“Alright, let’s talk logistics then,” Erwin said, though a smile still lingered on his lips.

“We already know that it will take Connie and Jean around 22 hours to reach the nearest town on foot. Sasha says that it will be around 16 hours if they hurry. They’ve already been gone for about eight hours so far, which means that if we’re lucky, we are halfway through this nightmare.”

It’s only been eight hours since they left? It had felt like an eternity. I wondered how Connie and Jean would react when they found out what had happened since they left. Fuck… I wasn’t looking forward to giving Jean the ring. We had never really gotten along, but he was still a friend. I didn’t want to see him break down again. It had been horrible enough to witness when he had just thought that Marco was missing.

“But since it will take about an hour to drive up here, that makes it nine hours,” Levi butted in again.

“Oh, yes, right,” Erwin nodded. “So, if we do the math… It’s around 1 am now. Which means that hopefully, the rescue will come at around 10 am. Noon at the latest. We just have to survive the night.”

“But this plan depends on the fact that they’ve been running.” Levi scoffed, and I couldn’t help but get annoyed at him. Why was he being so negative? It almost felt like he was actively trying to shoot down all their ideas. “What if they’re lying in a ditch somewhere? What if rescue never comes because we’re all depending on those two idiots.”

“Levi,” I inhaled sharply, slamming my fists onto the table as I got up from my chair. But all my anger quickly seeped out of my body as I noticed everyone staring at me. I held in my anger and sat down again, as quickly as I had gotten up.

“Please stop interrupting Erwin. I want to hear the plan,” I mumbled, averting his gaze.

Erwin quickly cleared his throat to remove the painfully awkward silence.

“My idea is this. We can’t all sleep at the same time, but all of us need sleep. If we all just stay together and take turns sleeping, then we should be safe. And if you have to go to the toilet, then bring other people. I don’t care whether or not it’s embarrassing since we’re dealing with our lives here. I’d rather have other people listen to me taking a shit than to lose my life sitting on the toilet just because I was too stuck up,”

It was a comment clearly meant for Levi, and at first, I would have thought that Levi would get angry, but then I heard someone laugh. My eyes darted towards the sound and landed on Levi who was holding his stomach as he laughed loudly.

“Fuck – Erwin, that – Haha! Dying on the – hahaha – fucking toilet! What a way to go!” He wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye, before wrapping an arm around Erwin’s shoulders. “You always manage to give such great visuals when you speak.”

Erwin let out a chuckle at first, but it didn’t take long before they were both laughing with each other. I was too baffled to laugh with them, though the others seemed to start snickering as well at the thought. I would probably never understand Levi’s friendship with Erwin and Hanji. They would bicker and fight like enemies and suddenly they’d seem like great friends. It was… Strange.

I cracked a smile at the scene before me. It was nice to see all of my friends laughing again, even if it was over the thought of someone dying on the toilet. Either we were all going insane, or we were developing very sick humor.

I’d probably put my money on both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda wanted to end this chapter with a little light-hearted joke, since I’ve been pulling a lot of mean cliff hangers on you the last couple of chapters (and will continue to do so for future chapters *laughs evilly*) nevertheless I hope you enjoyed the chapter!   
> I kinda felt like I needed to sit them all down and talk through the situation so that everyone is one the same page now. 
> 
> Oh, and from now on chapters will be updated every tuesday and saturday! I’m not exactly sure how many there will be, but I estimate it to be around 20-22 chapters before the story ends.  
> Hey, we’re halfway then 😎
> 
> Ok see you byeee


	11. Making Out With A Murderer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10 hours until rescue.

Levi, Bertholt, and Sasha were supposed to sleep first. But since Sasha insisted on staying by Krista’s side, and Levi insisted that he wasn’t sleepy at all, it ended up being Hanji, Bertholt, and Reiner who would sleep first instead.

I had a feeling that Levi had insisted on staying awake because he wanted to be around me and not leave me alone, but I wasn’t going to ask him about it. I was honestly a little annoyed with him, which had made me decline him when he had asked me if I wanted to join him on our mattresses. I knew he wanted to talk to me, but I wasn’t in the mood. Honestly, I had a lot to think about, and a lot of it were things that involved him.

I instead placed myself on the edge of the couch where Krista was lying, taking her hand into mine and caressing it gently.

Sasha and I didn’t speak for all the time we sat there. An hour passed before something finally happened.

Krista opened her eyes.

“H-Hey,” I whispered, trying not to scare her. I was afraid that she would start thrashing around again if I did anything that might upset her. But she just blinked at me, before letting out a cough.

“It hurts…” She whispered back. “Y-Ymir…”

I shared a look with Sasha before we looked down at her again. I didn’t want to lie to her, so I decided to give her half of the truth.

“She’s… Hurt. Just like you,” I replied to her in a low voice. “Can you tell us what happened? Do you remember?” I tried to distract her by bombarding her with questions.

Krista’s eyes flickered before she let out a broken sob.

“It all happened so fast. It was so dark too…” She began, before squeezing her eyes shut. It was like the memory was too painful for her. I could understand that. “Ymir had just walked out of the bathroom to get something. I could suddenly hear her yell my name and I immediately knew that something was wrong. I don’t know how, but I managed to run out and pull at the guy’s hair to get him away from Ymir, but… I wasn’t strong enough…”

She began sobbing, and we could only comfort her by silently caressing her hand and forehead until she calmed down again.

“I’m dying, aren’t I?” She finally whispered. Tears trickled down Sasha’s face as she leaned over to kiss her forehead.

“No… We’re gonna take good care of you. Rescue is coming soon, so stay strong, okay?”

Krista seemed to accept that answer because she soon closed her eyes again and let out a hollow breath.

And that’s when I remembered that I still had unanswered questions.

“Why did you freak out when you saw Levi?” I whispered.

“I-I…” Krista didn’t open her eyes as she spoke. She suddenly seemed very small, and I knew that I should have just let her rest.

But I _needed_ to know.

“I guess he just reminded me of…” She hesitated for a moment. “I guess I just thought for a second that the killer had come back to finish me off…”

“What did the… killer… look like?” Sasha asked with a low voice.

“He didn’t look very big… He had a small frame, I mean… It could even be a girl for all I know… I’m sorry, but it was t-too dark to see anything and he was moving so fast…”

She began crying again, and when she stopped, I realized that she had gone unconscious again. I bit my lip. Even with the answers I had gotten, I only felt like I had more questions now.

Something wasn’t adding up.

 _It’s him. It’s Levi,_ my brain tried to convince me once again. _He’s been lying to you. Betraying you. Why didn’t you notice it before? You’re so stupid._

No, that couldn’t be right. Levi could never do those things. He wouldn’t do that. No.

I let out a frustrated grunt, before starting to bite my nails again.

But then again…

 _Yes?_ My brain nudged at me, encouraging me to go on.

Levi technically didn’t have any true relation to the people who had died so far. His only friends, Erwin and Hanji, were still alive and well. He always seemed to hate being in the same friend group with everyone else. He had never tried to make friends with anyone, always keeping his distance.

He was cold and calculating, and he always stayed in the back to observe everyone. He seldom showed any emotions, and…

_Sounds like a psychopath, doesn’t it?_

No, that wasn’t right. He had been kind and gentle with me. When he held me in his arms, I had always felt safe. I had never sensed any true harm from him.

_Psychopaths are good at mimicking emotions. They’re pros at it. You’d never know until it was too late._

I thought back to our first night together. He had kissed me so passionately; his hands had run over my body like he couldn’t get enough of me… That kind of lust wasn’t something you’d be able to fake.

_He’s saving you for last. You’ll be the cherry on top. His best work yet. He wasn’t lusting for you because he was in love with you, he was lusting for your body and the ways he’s gonna cut you open. He wanted you to trust him enough to lower your guard. You’re pathetic. Did you really believe that he liked you?_

I snuck a look at Levi, who was sitting with Erwin and talking on our shared mattresses. I could feel my heart skip a beat as I studied him. Before I had been blinded by my love for him, but now… Something had changed. Now I was truly looking at him.

_His face shows no emotion because he has none._

Yes… That’s true. He always looked like that. Who looked like that?

 _People with no remorse,_ my brain answered. _Why do you think it was so easy for the killer to get inside to cut off the landline and the car’s wheels without being seen? It’s because it was him all along. He’s been here all along, right under your nose._

I felt so stupid. When I had gotten that panic attack outside the house, he had been there, trying to calm me down, all the while knowing that he had been the one to cause it. I suddenly felt _so_ stupid.

I thought further back. When we had been in the woods, looking for Marco, and Levi had come up to me… He had had something on his shirt. I hadn’t thought about it at the time, but now I was convinced that it was blood. When I had met him in the forest, had he just come from murdering Annie? I wanted to puke at the thought of me fooling around with him like a horny teenager, not knowing that I was making out with a murderer. Levi hadn’t even reacted naturally like everyone else when we had found all the dead bodies. Everyone had been puking, or shaking with terror, but Levi had been calm and quiet.

_Yes… Yes. Exactly. And where had he been under the other murders?_

With Marco… We had sex the night that Marco had probably been murdered. He could have easily snuck out while I had been asleep. He had enough time throughout the day to kill Petra. And Ymir and Krista… Ymir had been slaughtered while I had been out in the woods… Where Levi had gone after me. Technically, he had a lot of time to do it before he had found me. He could have easily attacked them before finding me.

_Krista had been so upset when she saw Levi. She was looking into the eyes of her murderer._

Of course. It all made sense. Krista had said that the killer had been small. She had been able to grab onto his hair, and Levi’s was long enough for that. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. All of this information… The puzzle pieces fit together, no matter how much I wanted to reject the idea that Levi could be the one to do all of those horrible things. But I couldn’t just ignore the evidence.

_So what are you going to do about it?_


	12. What Have We Become?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 9 hours until rescue.

“Sasha, can we talk in the kitchen?” I whispered to her, making sure that my voice was low enough not to be heard by the others. She looked at me in confusion.

“I don’t want to leave her,” In the end, she shook her head.

“Please, Sasha… It’s important,” I stared at her desperately, my eyes big with worry. I needed to discuss this with someone, to make sure that I wasn’t crazy. That it wasn’t all just in my head.

“A-Alright…” She finally caved, standing up. We were about to walk through the door when someone spoke up.

“Where are you going?” Levi asked, and I could feel my whole body freeze over when I heard his voice. He sounded suspicious… Or maybe just overprotective?

“We’re just getting some water for everyone. We’ll be back in two minutes,” I replied in a hushed voice, trying to hide my nervousness. I stared at him for a second, before hurrying into the kitchen. I went straight over to the sink and turned on the water, before turning around to face Sasha. I grabbed her upper arms as if I desperately needed to hold onto something to steady myself.

“I think Levi’s the one,” I whispered frantically to her. “All the signs lead to him. I know you probably don’t think so, but just hear me out-“

I took a deep breath as I looked at her, trying to study her reactions before I continued. She looked frightened and confused, but she also looked like she wasn’t going to reject my words just yet.

“Why do you think so?” She whispered back, her voice shaking.

I explained everything I had thought of to her as quickly as possible. There wasn’t much time before they would start to worry about us. When I finished, she just stared out the window with an expressionless face. But it soon started to change as she turned to look at me. She looked angry.

“That fucker. I knew it. I knew there was something wrong with him!” She hissed at me. At that moment she reminded me of my conversation with Mikasa. She had a bad feeling about him too, I remembered. She kept trying to warn me, but I was too stupid and in love to listen to her.

_You should have listened to your sister. Maybe she wouldn’t be lying dead in the woods right now if you had._

I clenched my teeth, before taking a deep breath. I tried to calm myself down, before saying anything else.

“I need you to help me. We need to come up with a plan. Hanji and Erwin are his best friends, so I don’t think they can be convinced that something’s up. We need to tie him up without them knowing, otherwise, they’ll just stop us. We have to do something, and quickly.” I whispered to her. I was still holding her arms, but my hands had begun to shake. I was afraid.

Afraid of Levi.

Afraid that I was wrong.

I felt overtaken by fear, whether I wanted to or not. But at least the fear wasn’t freezing me in place like all those times before. This time it was driving me forward, forcing me to make some hard decisions.

All I wanted was this nightmare to end. And if it ended by us tying Levi up and making him unable to do anything, then it was worth it. I hated myself for letting myself be so easily fooled by him, but at least now I could use my position with him to do some good. I could trick him somehow, maybe even let his guard down around me… Maybe I was the only one who could succeed at this.

All the times this weekend where I had felt useless – I would make up for it now. I suddenly felt full of energy and determination as I realized that I could finally be of use. I had a chance to stop the killer. I could save everyone that was left.

I was blinded by the thought of my own hero-complex, but I wasn’t aware of it. Right now, I wanted to act. I didn’t want to analyze my behavior.

“I have a plan,” I finally told her.

* * *

We brought out glasses of water for everyone that was awake, and I immediately headed over to Erwin and Levi while Sasha went to give Krista some. I sat down quietly in front of them, not looking at Levi as I handed him his glass. I didn’t have to look at him to know that he was looking at me though. I could clearly feel his stare boring into me, but instead of acknowledging him, I managed to turn my gaze to Erwin instead.

“How are you holding up?” I asked him casually. He looked surprised at first at my behavior and his eyes flickered back and forth between me and Levi to try and understand what the fuck was going on.

“Um…” He tapped his glass nervously. The tense atmosphere was making him nervous – or rather, Levi’s bad mood was making him nervous. I was even more nervous, but I tried my best not to let it show. “I’m doing good… Well, considering the circumstances.”

“You have really good leadership skills. I can see why you were the head of your fraternity house in college,” I smiled weakly. I was usually better at small talk than this, but this was the best I could do at the moment.

“Uh… Th-Thanks Eren.” Erwin seemed even more confused now. He then moved to stand up. “I think I’m going to check on Krista,”

And with that, he left. Which was fine. It had been a part of my plan to get Levi alone after all. I finally turned to stare at Levi and tried not to seem affected by his deathly glare as I returned it with an innocent one.

“What?”

“You yell at me in front of the others and then proceed to ignore me? I thought we were good, Eren. Or are you still upset that we have different opinions about bravery? Because that’s really fucking stupid, Eren.” He hissed at me, almost spitting out his words. He didn’t seem to care that the others were in hearing range.

“I’m not angry about that! I’m angry at you for being a giant prick!” I retorted without thinking. It was true, I had been annoyed at him for acting like an ass. My anger was genuine.

“It’s called constructive criticism, Eren.” Levi spat coldly, putting his water away so he could cross his arms. I stared at him for a second, before moving closer.

My heart started to beat faster, and I constantly had to remind myself that he probably wouldn’t hurt me.

Probably.

“Then let me give _you_ some constructive criticism,” I whispered at him, placing a finger on his chest. “You act so high and mighty as if you have all the answers, but all you seem to do is criticize everyone else instead of coming up with solutions! Your bad attitude ain’t helping anyone!”

Levi’s face looked like he hadn’t been fazed by my words at all, but his eyes told a different story. They looked like they were about to explode with anger.

“It’s not my fault that everyone seems to lose their brains when in a crisis!” He hissed at me, before grabbing my shirt to pull me forward. “When you stop being an idiot and look at the situation rationally, _then_ you can criticize me, but right now? Right now you’re just acting like a fucking child. Grow the fuck up, Jaeger.”

My breath hitched as I was pulled closer, now only centimeters away from his face. I could feel his breath on mine, and my body reminded me that even though my brain had convinced me that he was dangerous, my body still lingered on the memory of Levi fucking me senseless.

Disgusting. How could I be turned on while staring into the eyes of a serial killer? There was something clearly wrong with me.

But at least I could use my body’s reactions in my favor. After all, everything was still going as I had planned it. More or less. And this next part had to be convincing.

“L-Levi…” I breathed out, my face flushed in a mix of anger and sexual frustration. Something in his eyes changed, and for a short moment, his eyes flickered like he was picking up whatever signals I was sending out. “I’m not a child, asshole. At least you didn’t seem to think so last night...”

“Horny brat,” He finally spat out, before running his fingers through his hair. “You’re a fucking idiot. I don’t even know why I like you. You’re so troublesome,”

“So are you,” I said, and I meant that. Or rather, this whole situation was troublesome. But I still needed to get it done, even if I didn’t like it. Even if I had to say things I didn’t mean.

He huffed at my answer, before rolling his eyes.

“You’re the only one who can stir up my emotions like this, stupid brat. Your effect on me is annoying and bothersome,” He said suddenly, and I immediately felt the atmosphere around him change once more. He wasn’t angry any longer, he seemed more… Embarrassed. Like he had tried to keep those words a secret, but just couldn’t hold them in any longer.

And honestly? For a moment I forgot about everything that had happened these last 24 hours, and I was back being that love-struck boy who wanted to run after him like a lost puppy. To hear him say that I had a special effect on him made my heart beat faster.

“That’s what love does to you,” I answered with a flustered face, before placing my hands on his thighs, slowly sliding them upwards.

“Who said it was love?” He retorted with a roll of his eyes, but I sensed that he was enjoying the direction things were going in. He wanted me, and I suddenly felt disgusted with myself. I was just a toy to him, I had to remember that. I was nothing more than a prize in his eyes, another one for his collection of kills.

 _The cherry on top,_ my brain reminded me.

Right. I had to stay focused on the task at hand. I hid the disgust that I felt by burying my face in his neck, leaving kisses all over his collar bone. He hummed lowly in pleasure, making sure that no one would be able to hear.

I couldn’t do this. Being this intimate with him felt wrong. I needed a different approach.

I suddenly pushed him up against the backside of the chair behind him, before straddling his legs. He looked at me in surprise, not expecting me to go this far.

“You’ve made me all hot and bothered, Levi…” I whispered in his ear as my hands slid down to the hem of his shirt. “I’m gonna punish you for that,” I said seductively, before letting my tongue run over the side of his ear. He shuddered, before grabbing my ass and squeezing it.

“You’re the one who should be punished,” He breathed lowly as I struggled to stop myself from letting out a moan of pleasure.

Focus, god damn it. _Focus._

“Just shut up so I can take your shirt off,” I whispered back, as I started to pull at his shirt. But when I had gotten it halfway up, he stopped me.

“The others will hear,” He said in a reprimanding tone. I froze, frightened at the thought that I had been so close and now the whole plan would break into pieces.

“I don’t care,” I shook my head, before quickly placing my hand on the bulge in his pants to distract him. I rubbed it with the palm of my hand, maybe a bit too aggressively, as I stared him deep into the eyes.

“I want you,” I panted lowly. Levi bit his lip, clearly swayed by my words and my other, _ahem_ , actions, and he was quick to sigh and nod at me to continue.

I pulled his shirt over his head but stopped just at his elbows when he had his arms raised.

“Sasha, _now!_ ” I yelled. She popped up from behind the chair and pulled out the tape to wrap it around his wrists in record time. Levi let out a surprised grunt, staring up at me in confusion, but I didn’t even notice. I was too busy making sure that the tape would hold. Levi began to struggle under me, but I kept his arms up with all my strength. In any other situation he would probably have easily pinned me down, but his shirt was restraining him, making him unable to move his arms properly.

“Eren, what the fuck?!” Levi yelled before he started to try kicking me off with his legs. I took a few knees in my back before I finally jumped off him when Sasha had tied the tape around his wrists enough times for it to hold.

“His legs too!” I reminded her, before shoving Levi down onto his side. I placed a knee just under his ribs and pushed down, knocking the air out of him momentarily as Sasha sat down on his legs and started wrapping his ankles in tape as well.

This was when Erwin suddenly rushed over.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He demanded to know.

“Eren, is this a fucking joke?!” Levi followed suit.

“I’ll explain everything!” I told Erwin, deciding to ignore anything that Levi said to me. “Please, you have to trust me! I’m just trying to protect us!”

Erwin stood there, mouth gaping in utter shock as he looked at Sasha finish up Levi’s legs. It was the first time I had seen Erwin this shocked. Too shocked to even do anything. I didn’t blame him though. He probably hadn’t expected to see Levi’s kind-of-boyfriend tie him up like he was some kind of criminal.

“EREN!” Levi screamed again as he regained most of his breath. “Fucking explain yourself!”

I finally decided to speak to him. To the real him.

“Shut the fuck up, you _monster_. You make me sick,” I hissed at him. He stared at me in a mixture of shock and hurt. For a moment it looked like he had forgotten how to even speak.

I was sick of his lies. Sick of him pretending.

However, my own actions were making me sick as well. Even though I thought I was convinced that he was the killer, something inside of me still broke as I snapped at him. He was staring at me with eyes full of anger and confusion, and I felt like I had betrayed him.

 _Don’t feel bad for a murderer,_ my brain told me. _He doesn’t deserve your pity._

The faces of the death flashed through my mind all at once, reminding me of the damage he had caused. Marco, Petra, Annie, Ymir, Mikasa, Krista… Every single one of them he had tried to take from me. And succeeded in doing so.

Anger rushed through me as I thought of it. Thought of all of them. Thought of my sister. Had he left her out there in the woods? Had he killed her quickly or made her suffer?

I couldn’t bear the thought.

“What did you do to Mikasa? Where is she? _WHERE IS MY SISTER, YOU SICK FUCK?!”_ I suddenly screamed at him, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him violently. Through this whole ordeal, I had forgotten that there was still a chance for me to find out where Mikasa was. And he better provide me with some fucking answers.

“Eren, stop!” Hanji had rushed up behind me and placed both arms under mine to pull me away in a locked grip. I struggled for a moment, screaming at her to let me go.

“He’s the fucking serial killer!” I screamed at them, not caring how much attention I was drawing to myself. Not caring that I was waking up everyone else. “He killed all of them! Mikasa, where is she? What did you do to my sister?!” I started crying, letting out all of my pent-up anger and fear. I managed to finally get out of Hanji’s grip, and ended up on my knees and elbows, panting heavily.

“Eren’s right!” Sasha finally chimed in. “Every time someone died, Levi has conveniently disappeared! And Krista woke up just barely to tell us that the killer was someone small! And-… A-And Levi had blood on his sleeve earlier today! Eren saw it!” Her hand was shaking as she pointed at me. “Besides, he’s so fucked up it makes sense! He has the same character traits as a psychopath! It’s obviously him!”

“Haven’t you wondered how it was so easy for the killer the stay unseen, even when they broke in to cut off the landline? Or how they got close enough to the house to fuck with the cars, but no one noticed a fucking stranger wandering around the house?!” I finally got my voice back, looking up at the shocked faces of my friends. “I’m telling you; it makes sense that it’s one from our group! It’s gotta be him!”

“Oh my fucking god…” Reiner breathed out, before shaking his head. “I can’t believe it…”

He took a deep breath, looking as if he was thinking hard about something, and suddenly he roared loudly and rushed forward. Hanji started screaming at him to stop, while Erwin was quicker on his feet. He managed to stop Reiner before he could get a chance to swing his fist at Levi. I stared at the chaotic scene in front of me, frightened at the violent aura coming from Reiner. He screamed at Erwin to fuck off, but Erwin kept his stance, pushing him away from Levi.

Levi himself had crunched together; his knees pulled up to his chest as he had prepared himself for the hit from Reiner that never came. He looked so small and helpless, lying there on the floor, and I was reminded that it had been my doing.

There was no feeling of victory. Only sadness at the sight before me, and for a moment it felt like we had been reduced to wild animals.

What had we become?


	13. Splitting Teams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8 hours until rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I might have gone a little overboard and written the next five chapters in one night. Whoops.

We had spent the last half hour arguing back and forth. We had explained everything a bit more calmly as soon as we had walked over to the dinner table, away from Levi. But now we were yelling at each other again. Sasha, Reiner, and I were all trying to convince Hanji and Erwin to keep Levi tied up. Bertholt had decided to stay out of the discussion – He didn’t look like he had made up his mind about the whole ordeal just yet.

“This is so fucked up! I trust Levi completely – He could _never_ do such a thing!” Hanji yelled at us. It was rare that she got mad, so for a moment we all just stared at her before pulling ourselves together.

“Isn’t it better to be safe than sorry?” Sasha argued, making wild gestures with her arms. “If we just keep him like this and no one else gets hurt, then we’ll have our answer!”

“That’s not something we can be sure about!” Hanji replied, her face flushed red with anger. Erwin placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down, before speaking up.

“That’s not a fool-proof idea. If you think he’s the killer, you’d end up getting comfortable. Maybe you’ll make a mistake. End up getting killed because you thought you were safe. Is that what you want?” Erwin crossed his arms. “It’s dangerous to just assume things.”

“Exactly!” Hanji continued. “And he’s _not_ the killer, so the only thing happening right now is that you have betrayed one of your friends and he will probably never fucking forgive you for it!” She yelled at all of us, but for some reason, her eyes were fixed on me. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, suddenly feeling sweaty and nervous.

What if she was right…?

If Levi really was innocent, then that would mean that I had betrayed him. I had fooled him and set him up, and he would probably hate me forever.

My stomach churned at the thought of Levi hating me. After two years of pining for him, only to find out that he reciprocated my feelings and then fucking that up in under two days. If he were innocent, he wouldn’t be the only one to hate me. I would hate myself tenfold.

_If._

“We should at least try talking to him,” Erwin spoke calmly. He had quickly regained his calm demeanor since everything had happened. I admired that he was able to do that.

“He’ll only spit out lies!” Reiner growled angrily. “We can’t trust a word he says.”

“This is like a fucking witch hunt!” Hanji threw her hands up in the air. “You can’t just sentence him before even putting him on trial! Are we back in the fucking middle ages or what?!”

I looked down, ashamed. She was right to some extent. I still felt that Sasha’s and my actions had been justified, but right now we couldn’t justify just letting him be.

“Fine, we’ll hear him out under one condition. He stays tied up,” I tried to speak as calmly as Erwin had. I didn’t succeed because Hanji’s glaring eyes had stressed me out immediately. She looked like she wanted to bite my head off.

“You just lost the best thing to ever happen to you, and you did it all on your own accord. Are you proud of yourself, Eren? Huh?” She hissed at me.

I clenched my fists and stared back at her.

“I’ve already lost one of the most important things in my life. My _sister_. Don’t talk to me like you know anything,” I growled back at her.

“Take it easy, guys.” Erwin took a step forward to get between us. “I don’t want any of us to start turning on each other.”

“Too late, Eren already stabbed Levi in the back,” Hanji scoffed, crossing her arms. I was about to jump her when Erwin just barely managed to grab me in time and hold me back.

“Hanji, shut up for a moment. Eren, sit down. Actually, everyone should sit the fuck down now. And if anyone tries to get off the chair, then they can spend the rest of the night in the attic,”

I didn’t doubt for a second that he meant every word. So I sat down. I wasn’t going to miss this, after all, this might be the breaking point for us. Erwin went over to Levi, who was still on the floor, leaning up against the wall and staring at us all furiously. Erwin pulled down Levi’s shirt over his torso to cover him up, before lifting him up and carrying him over to the end of the table where he was placed on the end chair. We were all sitting on the other end, with at least three chairs of room between us.

Levi hadn’t spoken a word since we left. He was awfully quiet, even now. It made me feel uneasy because he was only staring at me. And the silence weighed on me like someone had placed a truck on top of me.

“Alright, Levi,” Erwin began. “Are you the serial killer who has been killing us left and right?”

“Wha-“ Sasha opened her mouth to protest. “You can’t just ask him that! He’s just going to say-“

Erwin sent her a look that shut her up immediately, before returning his gaze on Levi. Levi’s eyes never wavered off of me, as he answered with a clear, cold voice.

“No,”

“Eren believes that there is overwhelming evidence stacked against you. What do you have to say to that?”

Levi pressed his lips together until they turned white.

“Eren is a fucking idiot,” He finally spat at me. It felt strange to hear him talking about me in the third person when he was staring right at me. He was doing this on purpose, trying to make me feel guilty. I wasn’t going to let him.

“Eren and Sasha say that Krista was very afraid of you and she later told them that the killer looked like you. What do you have to say to that?”

“Wha-! Come on, you’re making it sound like we’re making it up! You were all fucking there in the room! You all saw how afraid Krista was of him!” Sasha dared to protest once more.

“Yes, but right now you guys are the ones making accusations and putting him on trial. Not us. _So,_ ” Erwin said sharply, before looking at Levi again with a patient look on his face.

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Levi growled, finally shifting his gaze to Erwin. “I. Am. Not. The. Killer.” He spat out the words slowly as if we were dumb.

“Can you tell us where you were during the murders?”

Levi groaned loudly, before leaning back in his chair. He shifted slightly in it, clearly uncomfortable with his arms tied together.

“I don’t even know when Marco was killed. I was deep in Eren’s ass all night, though. He _should_ be able to vouch for me,” His eyes returned to mine. He didn’t even care that the others could hear what he was saying. My cheeks were burning up, but I tried not to let it bother me.

I tried to speak up, but my throat felt completely dried out.

“You could have left when I fell asleep,” I mumbled, my voice hoarse.

“And why would I do that? Why the fuck would I go out into the cold to find Marco wandering about and kill him when I could be lying in bed with _you_?!” He lost his cool for a moment, his entire face full of anger before he controlled himself and settled down again. He took a deep breath, before continuing.

“We don’t even know when the fuck Petra or Annie was killed, so how am I supposed to explain my whereabouts? I’ve been either running around in the woods with all of you or being with Eren! I’ve basically not left your side the entire time!” He addressed me again. “Fuck, Eren, I’ve been by your side almost all day long, and you know that! When the fuck would I find the time to kill five fucking people?”

“He has a point. Eren?” Erwin stared at me calmly, but something was clearly brewing behind those blue eyes of his.

Fuck, I felt like everyone hated me. I just wanted to disappear into my chair.

“There were lots of times when we were apart…” I mumbled, making myself seem smaller than I was. I scratched my arm nervously, looking down at a rift in the table.

_Don’t get discouraged. You knew Erwin and Hanji wouldn’t agree with this._

But the shame and regret were slowly overshadowing the voices in my head until I felt on the verge of tears. I looked up to all three of them, yet I was the one hurting them so much. They had always led our group, and we all trusted their judgment. Well, mostly Erwin’s, as he was the most rational of them. Since Levi never spoke, and Hanji always seemed to have a bit too eccentric views on things.

“Alright, next question. You’ve been accused of having psychopathic character traits. What do you have to say to that?” Erwin asked.

This was when I finally noticed. Erwin wasn’t taking this seriously – he was mocking us by intentionally rephrasing our suspicions to make them seem stupid.

“Oh, come on!” Levi slammed his hands down onto the table loudly. “Are you fucking kidding me? I didn’t know it was a fucking crime to not want to smile all the fucking time!”

My whole face turned red with anger and embarrassment as I placed a hand on the table as well.

“Stop it, Erwin. I know what you’re doing, and it’s not funny.” I said angrily as I clenched my hand into a fist. “We have legit concerns that Levi might be the one to have done these things, and no matter how much of a mockery you make of it, it still doesn’t change the fact that Levi is the number one suspect. If you have any better ideas on who it might be, then be my guest. But for now, Levi stays that way. I’m just trying to prevent any more deaths, and if I have to tie Levi up to do that, then I’ll gladly do that.”

“Which you already have,” Levi sneered at me.

“Exactly,” I snapped at him, turning my head to stare at him. “I’m sorry Levi, but I’m just doing this for the greater good. I like you, but not enough to let you get away with this shit. You’re staying that way, and that’s that.” I tried to sound as calm as possible.

“Then I accuse you, Eren.” Hanji suddenly said as she leaned over the table to stare at me through her glasses. “You might be the killer as well. Erwin, let’s tie him up right now just to be sure. I mean, it couldn’t hurt, right? This is for the greater good after all,”

“Ah, yes, that’s a splendid idea.”

All blood drained from my face as I jumped up and backed away from the table.

“I’m not the fucking killer!” I exclaimed.

“Well, how are we supposed to know that?” Hanji said innocently, before smiling at me. “Come on, Eren, do it for the greater good. That way we can all feel safe. I mean, the three of you think that it’s Levi, but we think that it’s you. Isn’t it only fair that you get tied up as well then?”

“You have nothing to base that accusation on!” Sasha got up as well, spreading out her arms to protect me.

“Stop spewing bullshit! You’re just fucking around because you’re Levi’s friends!” Reiner chimed in.

“Guys…” Bertholt squeaked slowly, looking around at all of us. We had all gotten up from the table now – Hanji and Erwin on one side while the three of us were on the other side. Bertholt was still sitting down, seemingly unable to move. Or maybe he just didn’t want to get involved.

“So it’s okay for you to band together against our friend, but we’re not allowed to do the same? Ha! What fucking hypocrites you are!” Hanji laughed sarcastically at us.

“ _Stop_ …” Someone whispered, but that was soon overshadowed by the screeching sound of chairs being pushed back, as Erwin and Hanji started to move around the table, past Levi. I backed further away, eyes wide as I stared at them. They were seriously going to do it. They wanted to tie me up and leave me unable to defend myself. I wanted to throw up just by the thought of it. I wasn’t going to be useless again.

“I’ll fight you if I have to,” I growled at them, pulling out the steel pipe in my hand. I got into a fighting stance, almost daring them to come closer. Reiner did the same with his golf club, while Sasha grabbed a nearby chair – The bow and arrow she had was lying on her mattress, too far from her position.

Hanji and Erwin looked at each other for a moment before grabbing their weapons as well.

“ _STOP!”_

We all paused to look at the couch, where Krista was. She had pushed herself up on an elbow and stared at her through feverish eyes.

“P-Please stop fighting…” She groaned, before she couldn’t hold herself up anymore and fell back onto the couch. 

Everyone paused hesitantly, not sure how to proceed.

Then Sasha suddenly dropped her chair and ran over to check up on her. I lowered my weapon as well but stayed on the spot.

Erwin and Hanji immediately took advantage of the distraction that Krista had caused. Since Sasha had already left her position, and Reiner and I looked like deer caught in headlights, they took the opportunity to run over to Levi.

Hanji immediately began cutting away at the tape around his hands. I gritted my teeth as I stared at them, realizing that the moment had passed. There was nothing we could do now.

We had lost.


	14. Too Much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Enjoy the chapter!

7 hours until rescue.

“This is fucking BULLSHIT!” Reiner yelled when he realized the same thing I had. “Fuck this shit. Fuck all of you. I’m outta here,” He said, before storming off.

What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just go over there and force them away – I would defend myself against them if necessary, but I wasn’t going to attack them. So I could only look helplessly at the situation unfolding before me as Hanji made her way through the tape around Levi’s legs.

I cursed under my breath, before taking a step back. I wasn’t going to stay here and find out what Levi was going to do to me once he got free. He was furious at me, I knew that much, and I wasn’t going to tempt fate by staying in the same room as him.

So I did the only thing I could think of – I ran out into the kitchen, trying to catch up to Reiner.

“Hey! Reiner, wait up!” I called out, trying to squint my eyes to get a better look at my surroundings. He wasn’t here.

I went through the next door that led into the hallway, trying to move as quickly as possible. We needed to regroup and discuss what we had to do next. The best thing might just be to split up into two groups – the living room and the attic. We could let Hanji, Erwin and Levi stay where they were, while we barricaded ourselves in the attic. I also knew that if Reiner went along with that idea, then so would Bertholt. Sasha would probably stay by Krista’s side, but that was fine. Just the three of us was fine – we could manage.

I called out Reiner’s name once more. I placed my free hand alongside of the wall, making sure that I wouldn’t bump into it accidentally; there was barely any light here, and all the doors to the bedrooms were closed.

Someone suddenly started yelling in the distance. At first, I feared that it was Levi yelling my name; that he was coming to get me. But then I noticed that the sound was coming from the outside somewhere.

I furrowed my brows as I made my way to the end of the hallway and turned right. I walked through a room with a washing machine and cleaning supplies, before stopping in front of the door that led outside.

It sounded like someone was fighting outside, and I hesitated.

I fucking hesitated.

After all my big talk about being brave and courageous, my hand still refused to turn the handle in front of me.

I never got to muster up the strength to open the door before someone from the outside suddenly slammed it open. I was struck by it immediately and crashed into the wall beside me. I let out a pained gasp as I fell to the floor.

I barely managed to spot the outline of a person in front of me before they suddenly raised their hand and the moonlight was reflected in the steel.

A knife.

“No!” I yelled out in panic, raising my arms to protect my face. This was it. My time had come. I would die like the coward I was.

I waited for the pain to strike me, but it never came. I instead heard the door lock, and then…

And then the person started sobbing.

“E-Eren!” Mikasa cried out my name as she fell to her knees in front of me. I lowered my arms, staring at her in pure shock and confusion.

“… M-Mikasa?” I gasped in surprise, still not truly understanding what was happening. Mikasa was here? Alive? How…?

She let out another broken sob, before she dropped her knife on the ground and threw herself at me. She clutched my shirt in her hands as she buried her face in my chest. I was completely baffled as I stared down at her.

My sister was alive.

“F-Fuck… I thought I had lost you…” My voice cracked as I finally threw her arms around her as well. She was cold and incredibly sticky, but I couldn’t see clearly enough to know what it was.

“I’m so h-happy to s-see y-you,” She cried, her voice muffled by the fabric of my shirt. I pressed my face into her hair, inhaling the scent of her. She was here. In my arms. Alive.

“H-How…?” I wanted to ask her how it this was possible; how did she manage to survive? She had been gone for almost two hours now. What in the world had happened to her? But my voice didn’t seem to want to cooperate with my brain, so I only managed to make out half sentences and unrecognizable words as I began to cry.

We stayed like that for around a minute, before she finally let go of me, as if she suddenly remembered something important.

“T-The killer… I t-tried to get away, to c-come back to y-you…” She panted. “Reiner fought him, b-but…” The look in her eyes told the rest of the story.

Reiner was dead.

I knew I should be horrified and sad, but the feeling of relief by having my sister back was still too overwhelming.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” I asked as we got back on our feet. My back and shoulder ached from the hit they had taken earlier from the door and getting pushed against the wall, but I ignored it for now. Mikasa was my first and only priority.

“I’m fine, Eren.” She told me as I took her hands into mine. They were cold and wet as well, and as I looked down on them, I could see how much darker they were than normally.

“Is that… Blood?” It finally dawned on me. She looked dirty and sweaty and covered in the same substance as her hands. From what I could make out, blood was my only guess. She looked tired and terrible, and I felt so bad for her. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she must have had to endure out there.

“Oh… I…” She looked down at her hands as well. “I managed to hurt him… The killer, I mean. To get away,”

I caressed her hands with my thumbs, before wrapping an arm around her.

“You’re safe now. That’s all that matters,” I told her and she smiled at that.

“I’m so happy I found you. I was so worried about you,”

She had been worried about me? Typical Mikasa. Even when she had been in danger, she still thought of me.

“So much have happened while you’ve been gone…” I whispered, as we began to walk back to the others. “Ymir’s dead and Krista is… Well, she’s not doing too good. But at least she’s still alive,”

“She’s alive?” Mikasa looked at me, biting her lip. I nodded and smiled at her to calm her down.

“Yeah, don’t worry. Levi managed to save her. She’s in a lot of pain but I think she’ll pull through.”

“I’m… So happy to hear that…” Mikasa whispered as she squeezed my hand. I squeezed back, trying to comfort her. I tried to think back to what had happened next before I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks.

“Eren?” Mikasa looked at me with a worried look on her face.

“L-Levi… He… I thought he might be the killer, so we… we…” I choked on my words as I let out a surprised gasp. Hanji had still been cutting up the tape when I had left, so there had been no time for Levi to get away and attack Reiner outside. It was simply impossible for him to be the killer.

“I fucked up,” I covered my face with my hands as I let out a frustrated grunt. “I really, _really_ fucked up,”

I needed to see him. I needed to apologize. Fuck. I had been so wrong about everything. How could I have been so easily swept up in the whole situation? I had convinced myself that he, the guy that I absolutely adored, had been some kind of psychopathic monster… How could I have gotten it so twisted?

For now, I had no answers. All I knew was that I needed to see him and tell him that I had been wrong.

“Come on!” I gritted my teeth as I began running, fully expecting Mikasa to follow me. I ran through the kitchen and stopped when I arrived in the living room. Sasha and Bertholt were sitting beside Krista, while Hanji and Erwin were still at the table, helping Levi. Hanji had just cut off the last of the tape around his wrists, and he was standing up, rubbing the skin were the tape had stuck to.

“Levi!” I called out to him, already out of breath. I hurried over to the table, opening my mouth to start apologizing. I never got that far though. As soon as Levi had spotted me, he had moved towards me as well. When he had closed the distance between us, he clenched his fists and slammed one into my stomach without hesitation.

All air escaped my lungs as I let out a grunt of pain and fell to the floor. I bent over, my arms wrapping around my stomach to ease the pain that was quickly spreading throughout my torso.

“Ah – F-Fu… - L-Levi,” I panted helplessly as I looked up at him with large eyes. My mind still didn’t seem to be able to connect the dots of what had just occurred, because I still tried to reach out to him with a shaking hand.

He shoved it away immediately before using his foot to kick me over. I landed on my back, and the small amount of air I had managed to inhale just moments before had disappeared once more from my lungs. I let out a cry of pain, squeezing my eyes shut.

I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Not even when I felt hands wrap around my throat and I opened my eyes to see Levi hovering over me.

“How could you,” He hissed through his teeth, his body shaking with anger. His eyes were filled with it too, but there was also something else. Complex emotions of sadness and frustration and disappointment flickered in them, and I knew why.

Honestly, could I blame him if he decided to squeeze the life out of me? I had been prepared to leave him tied up for hours as I had tried to convince everyone that he was a psychopath.

I deserved whatever punishment he had in store for me.

“Levi, stop it!” Hanji yelled from somewhere.

“I’m s-so sorry,” I whispered breathlessly, looking up at him with eyes full of sorrow. My arms laid flat on the ground, and I made no motion to try and remove his grip from my throat. He hadn’t tried to squeeze it yet, he was just holding me in place as he stared down at me. “I-I… was wr-wrong…”

Levi was about to open his mouth to reply when something heavy suddenly slammed down on his head. His body flew off me instantly, releasing his grip from me, and I blinked for a moment to understand what had just happened.

“Stay away from my brother, you fucker!” Mikasa screamed, her hands clenched in fists as she stood beside Levi’s body on the floor. I tried getting up but winced once I tried to move even an inch. Either my ribs were bruised or just plainly broken. No matter what, it was making it difficult to move and breathe normally.

“Mikasa, stop!” I yelped as I looked at Levi. It seemed like Mikasa’s kick to his head had made him unconscious.

“He tried to kill you!” She retorted back at me, her eyes wild as she stared at me.

“M-Mikasa?! You… You’re alive! How is this possible?” Bertholt shrieked suddenly, distracting me for a moment. Everyone seemed to pause whatever they were doing and stared at Mikasa. The living room was more lit up from the moonlight and showed just how terrible she looked.

Her pants had several holes and cuts in them, and her white button-up was covered in semi-dried blood and dirt. Her hair was a mess as well, sticking out to all sides. She looked like a wild animal as she stood there, eyes on fire and hands turned clenched fists.

“I’m so happy to see you!” Sasha cried out and in mere seconds she had run over to embrace Mikasa. Hanji and Erwin just stood there, baffled at the scene before them. So much was happening at once that even they had a hard time keeping up.

I didn’t blame them. I would probably have reacted the same way if my friend had just tried to kill my other friend, before my third, and thought-to-be-dead, friend suddenly rushed in to attack the first friend.

Erwin was the first of the two to move – He rushed to Levi’s side, checking his vitals. I crawl over to join him, forgetting that we had been ready to fight each other no less than five minutes ago.

“Is he okay?” I asked, my voice weak and hoarse. I reached over to place a hand on Levi’s head, my fingers running through his hair to make sure that Mikasa hadn’t somehow cracked open his skull. My fingertips found nothing, and I let out a sigh of relief.

It felt so natural for me to be worried about him, even though I had terrible thoughts about him not too long ago. Levi had been a victim of the situation just like everyone else, except I had made the situation for him much worse.

That’s when I finally understood. I had been so scared, and in my weak state of mind, I had let the fear take control. It wasn’t that I had truly thought Levi had been the perpetrator, it was just that I had been so desperate to find a solution to the problem. If I just figured out who the killer was, then this whole thing would be over.

And Levi had been the simplest answer to my question. I had desperately grasped for straws, and then used them to make him the scapegoat.

“I’m so sorry, Erwin.” I said, almost afraid to look up at Erwin. He looked at me for the longest time, before shaking his head.

“I want to say that I can’t believe you’d do this to him, but some part of me still understands. Desperate people go to desperate measures. I just never thought that you’d actually think Levi would…” He shook his head again before letting out a long sigh.

“I’ve known this guy for seven years. Despite his cold exterior, he’s such a loyal friend. You don’t know him like I do, Eren, but Levi is a good guy. You just have to get to know him to find that out, and he always makes it damn hard for people to do that,”

“I-I know… I know he has a good heart,” I wanted to say more, but before I knew it my bottom lip started to quiver and soon I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I let out broken sobs as tears and snot slid down my face. I tried to tell them that I was sorry, but my words came out incomprehensible and muffled by my crying. I bent over to lean my forehead against Levi’s shoulder, my own shaking uncontrollably as I squeezed my eyes shut.

I let all my emotions out as I wailed. Everything was a damn mess, and it had partly been my fault.

Would Reiner have gone to his death if this hadn’t happened? Would Levi be lying here like this? Would our relationship have been ruined?

I had royally fucked up, and I had no one to blame but me. I had gotten back my sister, yes, but I had also lost so much.

“I don’t want to do this anymore-“ I managed to say as I had calmed down just enough to speak properly again. “I want this to end already… Please…”

Mikasa and Sasha had gotten down beside me in the meantime, silently patting my back as I wept. When I finally sat back up and wiped my nose, Mikasa was the first to hug me.

The room was silent, except for my loud, ragged breathing, as they tried calming me down.

And that’s when Bertholt suddenly spoke up. He had stayed by Krista’s side the entire time, watching what had happened from afar.

“G-Guys… She… She isn’t breathing!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much is happening in this chapter that even I had I hard time keeping up, lol
> 
> BUT MIKASA'S BACK! She's aaaaaaliveeeee


	15. An Explanation

6 hours until rescue.

“Does anyone know CPR?” Sasha yelled out as she hurried over to Krista with the rest of us. We all stared helplessly at each other, waiting for someone to speak up.

“Levi told me once how to do it, but I’ve never tried it on anyone before… If Levi wasn’t unconscious, then…” Hanji finally muttered.

“Come on then!” Sasha panicked.

“Someone get her on the floor. It won’t work if she’s on the couch,” Hanji told us. Erwin and Bertholt carefully, but quickly, moved her onto the floor. Hanji moved over to place her on top of her, making sure that she only hovered over the wound on Krista’s stomach, so as not to directly touch it.

“One… T-Two… Three…” Hanji muttered under her breath as she started the compressions. We all held our breaths as we stared at her working her way through it, waiting for Krista to take a deep breath.

It never came.

“I d-don’t think it’s working…” Hanji looked up at Sasha with sorrowful eyes as her movements started to slow down until her arms finally stopped moving.

“N-No…” Sasha’s voice cracked as she stared down at Krista’s body. “Move! Fuck, move away!” She suddenly exclaimed, pushing Hanji away. She took her place quickly and took over from where Hanji had left off.

She started counting her compressions, but her words quickly became muffled when she started crying.

Bertholt placed a hand over his mouth to hide his painful expression, while we other stood frozen in place. We all knew that it was over, but Sasha refused to stop. Mikasa turned to hide her face in the crook of my neck and I placed a soothing hand on her back to comfort her when her shoulders started slightly shaking. She didn’t make a sound, but I could imagine that she was crying.

“S-Sasha… You need to stop…” Erwin said with a mild voice as he took a step forward to place a hand on her shoulder. But she just shrugged him off and kept going.

“I’m not letting her die, I can’t!” Sasha screamed at no one in particular. “I can’t stand losing another friend! You hear me?!”

Bertholt let out a muffled sob from his covered-up mouth at her words. We all understood her pain and frustration – no one wanted to lose Krista. The kindest and sweetest girl I had ever met – the girl who had shown me around campus the first week I had been there, the girl who never lost her patience with me when I struggled to understand the theories in our study groups. Her devotion and passion had affected all of us for the better and now she was no more.

She was dead and there was nothing to be done about it.

“She’s dead, Sasha! Just accept it!” Hanji suddenly yelled at her, grabbing her arm to pull it away.

“I refuse!” Sasha screamed. She looked so broken, as if Krista’s death were the final drop to make her glass start spilling. “She didn’t deserve this!”

“We know that, okay?” Hanji matched Sasha’s noise level as she pulled her off Krista and down on the floor beside her. “None of them deserved this… We all know that…”

She was right. They all had their lives in front of them. They all had dreams and hopes and expectations for their futures.

Their lives were just beginning. And some fucked up person had taken that away from them, and for what? Had they all been killed just to satisfy his sick needs? Was all this just for his entertainment?

I wondered if we would ever find out. 

Hanji comforted Sasha until she stopped crying while everyone else sat down on the floor with them.

“Mikasa… How did you survive?” Erwin finally spoke up after a long time.

“Well…” Mikasa looked hesitantly at the floor, before scooting closer to me. I wrapped an arm around her to make her feel more comfortable. It was probably painful for her to think back on whatever she had experienced out there.

“Someone grabbed me from behind and placed something over my mouth. It must have been some kind of drug because my body suddenly refused to move properly… I have no memory of how he pulled me away, but when I came to, I was close to the house. I could hear Eren yelling out my name, and I tried to scream, but he had tied me up and placed something over my mouth. I have no idea why he didn’t kill me immediately though…” She whispered the last part, looking over at me. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

“It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re alive,”

“How did you escape then?” Erwin asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at her.

“He had disappeared when I came to. It didn’t take long until he returned though – he tried to stab me, but I barely dodged it… That’s how I got this,” She moved her leg slightly to show all of us the deep cut she had on her upper thigh. It wasn’t bleeding any longer, but I could imagine that she had lost a considerable amount of blood. That was probably why her pants were soaked in the dark red matter.

“I kicked at his legs and made him fall down, before getting up and getting out of there. Luckily he hadn’t tied up my legs so all I had to do was run. That’s when I spotted Reiner,” She stopped her story to look at Bertholt. She knew that what she was about to say next would probably be most painful for him to hear.

Bertholt and Reiner had always been by each other’s side. Everyone knew that Reiner had always been a little gay for Bertholt, even though he always talked loudly about his affection for Krista. Bertholt on the other hand wasn’t gay, so they had never gotten further than friendship. When Reiner one night in the first year of college had gotten really drunk and tried to kiss Bertholt, it had kinda fucked up their friendship for a while. No one knew exactly what had happened between them after that, but they had only been awkward for about two weeks before they suddenly got even closer than before.

We thought they had probably had a long talk about everything because from that point forward they had been inseparable. Bertholt had once confessed to me that he liked Annie, so I knew that it wasn’t because they were _together together._ Maybe they just realized that they loved each other platonically too much to want to lose the friendship they had together because of a stupid crush.

Bertholt sent Mikasa a short nod. He didn’t look too good, but he still let her continue.

“W-Well… Reiner helped me get out of the ropes I had been tied up with, but before I could warn him about anything, the guy had caught up with us. Reiner fought him off, and I wanted to help him, I really wanted to, but… The fucker was swinging his knife like crazy at me, and he managed to strike me several times before Reiner suddenly jumped in to stop him. He got him right in the jaw,” She reached up to hold her own jaw as she thought back on the memory. “It was horrible. Reiner made this awful choking sound, and I thought he was gone for good. It sure looked like it, but then I suddenly heard him telling me to run, before he threw himself at the psycho… I knew immediately that there was nothing I could have done… F-Fuck, I’m so sorry, b-but… I ran… I fucking ran away…” Her voice broke and she clasped a hand over her mouth to muffle the sobs escaping her lips.

I hugged her once more, holding her tightly against my body.

“S-Shit…” Hanji muttered quietly after hearing her story.

“H-He didn’t die in vain,” Bertholt suddenly spoke up as he looked at us with determined eyes. “He was brave right until the end.”

I shivered at his words. They gave me no comfort as I only remembered how I myself had hesitated at the door.

I couldn’t help but hate myself a little. Could I have prevented Reiner’s death if I had just acted a little faster?

Right there and then, I swore to myself that no matter what, I’d never hesitate again.

Never again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, but necessary for the plot.
> 
> So few of them are left now... Do you guys have a guess for who survives the whole thing? Or if anyone even does?


	16. A Talk Between Storms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are finally here. So near the end now...

5 hours until rescue.

When everyone had calmed down, we explained what Mikasa had missed out on while she had been gone. She had been visibly upset when hearing the full story of what had happened to Ymir and Krista.

Levi still hadn’t woken up.

“I really need a change of clothes,” Mikasa finally said when we all got tired of sitting on the floor and had gotten up.

“We can’t let you go alone,” Erwin informed her. “We need to be in groups of three, at the very least.”

“I’ll go with you,” I said immediately. I had just gotten her back – I wasn’t going to leave Mikasa out of my sight until this nightmare was officially over.

“I’ll go too.” Bertholt nodded.

“Then Sasha, Hanji, and I will stay here until you get back.” Erwin replied. “Don’t take too long.”

“We won’t,” I assumed him.

We went upstairs and headed towards Mikasa’s room, before Bertholt – who was leading the way – suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around, his face pale.

“Mikasa… You shared a room with Ymir and Krista, right?”

“Oh…” I immediately understood his concern. The last thing Mikasa needed right now was to see another friend dead on the floor.

I searched my brain for another room to use. We couldn’t use the room next to theirs either because Petra was still in that room. It was as if it suddenly dawned on me that the house was quickly filling up with dead people. Annie and Reiner were outside, Petra and Ymir in the rooms, and with Krista in the living room… It was sickening to know that we were surrounded by the bodies of our friends.

“We’ll use Levi and Erwin’s room then,” I mumbled, and without another word we made our way to it.

“I still need clean clothes though,” Mikasa said as we entered the room.

“Can’t you just use some of theirs? I’m sure they won’t mind. I think you’re about Levi’s size…” I started saying, but she was quick to interrupt me.

“I’m not wearing that fucking midget’s clothes,” She hissed at me.

I scrunched my nose at her comment. Why did she hate him so much? He’d never done anything to her, as far as I knew.

“I’ll get you some clothes,” Bertholt quickly said, before leaving us alone.

“What’s your problem with Levi?” I demanded to know. I was still ready to defend him, even with the emotional rollercoaster ride I had been on earlier regarding my own feelings towards him.

“I just do,” She cut me off, her voice hard and cold, and it was clear that she didn’t want to talk about it.

To hell with that.

“Come on, Mikasa, what’s up with you? I know you were wary of him before, but he’s clearly not the one we should be worrying about!”

“Why are you still defending him? After everything you guys told me of how you thought he was the killer? If even _you_ had that kind of suspicion of him, then there is certainly still a reason to be wary of him,” She coldly retorted as she started undressing.

“I might have thought it before, but I don’t now!”

“Why? What if there are two killers and one of them is Levi? Have you even thought of that?”

Well, shit. I hadn’t thought of that at all. But still, something inside of me told me that I had been wrong. Fear had controlled my every thought, but now that I was more clear-headed, the whole thing just seemed wrong. And the way Levi had looked at me when I had betrayed him… He wouldn’t have looked like that if he had been guilty of anything.

“It’s not Levi,” I repeated myself. “I’m sure of it now.”

“What changed?” She asked as she pushed off her shoes. “Or is it your stupid crush for him that is blinding you and making you a fool?”

“Wha- … Why are you attacking me like this right now?” I crossed my arms, staring at her in disbelief. Whenever the subject turned to Levi, Mikasa seemed to change her whole demeanor. Why?

“Because when it comes to Levi, it’s like you lose all rationality. Why can’t you see him clearly for what he is?”

“And what is he?”

“A freak,” She growled. “He doesn’t fit in with us. He never has. He’s too different,”

“Why does he have to fit in? Maybe I like that he’s different.”

“ _Pff_ ,” She rolled her eyes at me. “Bullshit.”

God, why was she always so annoying? It was like we were never able to agree on anything, least of all this.

“Well, it doesn’t even matter anymore,” I snapped at her. “Can we stop talking about Levi? It’s not like we’ll be together after this anyway. He probably hates my guts,”

Mikasa didn’t answer that. Instead she pulled her shirt over her head and threw it on the floor.

“I’m taking a shower. Just stay out here,”

She closed the door to the bathroom and left me alone. Only seconds later, I heard the water start running. I let out a sigh and sat down on the bed. I loved my sister, but sometimes she could be so thick-headed. It was always so energy-draining to argue with her.

The door opened not too long after, and Bertholt appeared with a fresh set of clothes.

“H-Hey…” He mumbled. I looked at him, sending him a nod. He sat down on the other bed in front of me and we stayed quiet for a while.

“Um, s-so…” Bertholt mumbled, clearly having something on his mind. “W-Well… I kind of overheard you guys talking. About Levi, I mean…”

“What about it?” I asked him, not following.

“Well… I guess I just wanted to hear if you want to talk about it?” He looked at me with kind eyes. Typical Bertholt, always thinking of others. He was in pain himself, yet he was still thinking about me.

“Dude…” I hesitated. “You just lost your best friend. Are you seriously telling me that you want to hear me cry about my relationship problems?”

Bertholt shifted awkwardly, before shrugging.

“Sometimes it’s nice with a distraction. I mean… This whole situation is fucked up enough as it is. I think my brain needs a break from it.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me how you are? I’m here for you, Bert.” I told him.

“Thanks Eren, but… I-I don’t think I can. I’m not ready. I’m still trying to just process this whole thing,” He looked away, but I still noticed the pain flickering in his eyes.

Fuck. I would feel so stupid for talking about my feelings for Levi, but it seemed like this was what Bertholt needed right now. A stupid distraction.

I sighed.

“I’m fucking in love with the guy, and I’m the first one to accuse him of being a psychopath? I feel like the biggest asshole on earth. And the worst part is that right now I don’t even understand my own thought process when it all happened,”

“I’d feel like shit too. But I still understand why you did what you did,”

“Really? Why?” I blinked, surprised at his words.

“Well, in psychology class we learned that the mind is a powerful thing. And it can easily play tricks on us when we’re weak-minded,” He began explaining. “Not that I’m saying that you’re weak-minded, but… This whole situation has really fucked us up. So it’s not surprising that you were just trying to make sense of it all by trying to figure out who the killer was. And with all the accusations you had come up with… It’s understandable that your mind headed to that conclusion. It was the easiest one.”

I tried to make sense of what he was telling me. I suppose it made sense.

“Either way, it was still shitty of me. And the way I handled it by tying him up… I just thought that if he really was the killer, then we needed to make sure that he couldn’t attack us when he figured out that we knew.”

“You just wanted to protect everyone. That’s not something to be ashamed of,” He comforted me.

“Yeah, well, in the end I didn’t protect anyone. I only made the matter worse.” I buried my face in my hands. “I’ve never seen Hanji so angry before.”

“Yeah, that was pretty freaky,” Bertholt let out a breathy laugh. “She really scared me for a second.”

“Me too,” I nodded. “If eyes could kill, then I’d be dead several times over. By both Hanji and Levi…” I let out another sigh before looking up at Bertholt. “You think they’ll forgive me?”

I stared at Bertholt with desperate eyes, as if he told me yes that it’d come true.

Bertholt only shrugged though.

“I think you’d be able to ask for forgiveness a thousand times and they still wouldn’t accept it. In this instance, words are probably not enough.”

Wise words, but not what I wanted to hear at all.

“Do you still like him? Levi, I mean.”

I didn’t need to think about my answer.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop liking him. Even after everything. That’s why it pains me so much to know that I’ve hurt him like this,”

“You shouldn’t give up then. Maybe you’ll get a chance to show him how sorry you are?”

“Hm…” I stared at the floor. “Maybe.”

Bertholt bent over and picked up Mikasa’s bloodied shirt.

“She must have been through a lot. Your sister’s really something,” He muttered, changing the subject.

“She is,” I agreed with a nod. “She’s stronger than you’d think. Don’t tell her I’ve said it, but I really admire her for that.”

“I won’t,” Bertholt chuckled as he looked at the shirt. He absent-mindedly started scratching off dried-up blood from one of the buttons. “We should have brought up the med-kit as well. She’ll probably need bandages.”

I heard Mikasa turn off the shower inside the bathroom.

“Fuck, why didn’t we think of that? I’ll be right back,” I got up and hurried out of the room. I made my way downstairs and grabbed the medical kit from the couch where Krista had been. While we had been gone, they had placed Levi on the couch instead. He looked so peaceful, lying there as if he were just sleeping. I admired his features for a moment. He usually looked either annoyed or with a frowning expression, so it was strange to now see his face completely neutral. His lips were slightly parted as he breathed slowly, and I was relieved at the sound. After Krista had stopped breathing, it had become music to my ears to hear the plain sound of air being inhaled and exhaled.

I looked up to see that the others had placed themselves at the living room table, talking in hushed voices.

They all stopped talking though when I had appeared.

“For Mikasa,” I explained quickly, pointing at the kit. Sasha was the only one to reply with an “okay,” while the other two just stared at me. Hanji’s eyes where still cold and hard. I knew that I should probably just get out of there quickly, so I did.

As I walked through the hallway, back towards the room, my ears suddenly picked up on Bertholt’s voice.

“Mikasa, your shirt… Th-There’s a…” I could hear Bertholt inhale sharply, as if he were in disbelief of his own words.

“… There’s a button missing,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts in the comments! I’ll look forward to reading them.


	17. You've Finally Shown Your True Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was the hardest for me to write. I kept going back to it to make changes because I wasn't satisfied. And it started making me anxious, so I had to stop to keep my sanity.
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on it.

4.5 hours until rescue.

There was silence for a few seconds, before I suddenly heard someone scream, though the sound was muffled and strange. My body reacted before my mind did, and I immediately started running towards the door. I didn’t manage to reach it in time though, as Bertholt suddenly bolted out of the door. Or rather, it looked more like he had been thrown out of it. He tripped over the door frame and landed on his shoulder.

“Eren!” He huffed breathlessly, reaching out a hand towards me. “Sh-She’s –“

He never got to finish the sentence.

Mikasa came running out of the room, only dressed in underwear and a white towel, and threw herself on top of Bertholt. Before I could even take a step forward, she had grabbed Bertholt’s head and started slamming it against the floorboards. Bertholt made a choking sound and his arms started flapping around, trying desperately to get her off.

“Mikasa! Stop!” I screamed at her, though my body refused to move. I had sworn that the next time I had the chance to protect someone, I wouldn’t dare to hesitate. But never in my life would I think that I’d have to protect someone from my own sister. Never would I have thought that I’d have to go up against Mikasa.

It was as if my brain was struggling to connect the dots. Why was Mikasa hurting Bertholt? It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense anymore.

After the fifth slam to the floor, Bertholt’s arms became limp and slowly fell to the floor. Mikasa was out of breath as she removed her hands, which had already been covered in blood again.

Bertholt’s blood.

“M-Mikasa… Wh-Why…?” I whispered, staring at her in disbelief. She looked up at me slowly, before letting out a sigh as she noticed my frightened and confused expression.

“I guess the charade’s finally up.”

4 hours until rescue.

“Why? Why did you hurt Bertholt?!” I demanded to know, before staring at the pool of blood that had slowly appeared beneath Bertholt’s head. “F-Fuck… We need to make sure he’s not dead!”

I hurried over to them and threw myself down on my knees. My body ached and I was reminded that my ribs were still fucked up. Not that it mattered now. I placed two fingers at Bert’s neck and tried to feel around for a sign of life.

“Eren…” Mikasa calmly placed a hand on my arm. “Forget about him, he’s not worth your attention. He’s just scum,”

I stared at her, confused at how she could speak such words of one of her friends.

“Why would you say that? He’s our friend! Why did you do that to him?!”

_“Friend_? Ha! That disgusting piece of shit was never my friend. And he certainly wasn’t yours either.” She huffed.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Of course he was!” I didn’t understand what she was saying. I couldn’t comprehend her words, couldn’t connect the dots.

“Eren, would a friend hurt another friend?” She asked calmly. “Bertholt has hurt you so many times. He doesn’t deserve to be your friend. _This_ is what he deserves.”

I shook my head aggressively. Nothing she said was making sense. Bertholt hurt me? He never had. Not once.

“What are you talking about, Mikasa? You’re not making any sense!”

“I’m just trying to protect you, Eren. I always have.” She reached out to cup my face in her hand. “They’ve all treated you horribly… I had to make them pay. Every single one of them,”

All blood drained from my face as I stared at her.

Every… Single… One?

“What are you saying…” I breathed out as my hands began to shake. “You’re scaring me, Mikasa.”

“Don’t be scared, Eren… I’m only doing what’s best for you. What’s best for us. You don’t need these people… They’ll only cause you pain. They always have and they would have continued to do so if I hadn’t done something about it.”

“No one’s hurt me!” I tried to reason with her as I slapped away her hand. “They haven’t done anything to me!”

“Oh?” Mikasa’s voice turned cold. “So Marco didn’t slice open your arm with the axe yesterday? Annie didn’t break your nose last year when you and Jean tried to prank her? Petra didn’t cause you distress when she started liking you and you were freaking out about it for weeks? You were so distracted because of it that it affected your grades! Don’t you remember any of that?! Don’t you remember how Connie and Sasha thought it would be funny to drop you off in the middle of nowhere, drunk and with no wallet or phone, and then leave you there? You had to call me from a goddamn payphone at three am in the morning, and you almost had frostbite when I came to pick you up!”

I stared at her with wide eyes as I realized what she was doing. All of those minor incidents… Situations that had been taken out of context – in her mind, they had all caused me pain somehow. But that was the thing with friendships – they had their ups and downs, just like everything else, but Mikasa managed somehow to only focus on the bad parts. She was completely ignoring all the wonderful memories I had made together with all of them.

I stared into her cold eyes and suddenly remembered the arguments Sasha and I had made against Levi.

He had never tried to make friends with anyone, always keeping his distance. But neither had Mikasa. She was only friends with everyone because they were my friends and she always came along when I went anywhere.

Levi was cold and calculating, and he always stayed in the back to observe everyone. He seldom showed any emotions. Same went for Mikasa – she always blended in with the background, never tried to initiate conversations with anyone other than me, and she never looked like she was having fun. She rarely even smiled.

_Sounds like a psychopath, doesn’t it?_

_Psychopaths are good at mimicking emotions. They’re pros at it. You’d never know until it was too late._

_Krista had been so upset when she saw Levi. She was looking into the eyes of her murderer._

Now that I thought about it, hadn’t Krista said that the killer could even have been a girl? And Levi and Mikasa certainly both looked alike, with their dark hair and small frame. Everything suddenly started making sense.

“M-Mikasa…” I stammered as I looked at her hesitantly. What was I supposed to do? She had basically confessed already, so there shouldn’t have been any doubt in my mind about it. But my mind was still fighting against the thought that my own sister was capable of such a horrible thing. Even when I had seen it with my own eyes. “Did you plan th-this…? Did you plan to kill e-everyone?”

“Of course,” She calmly wiped her hands in the towel she was wearing, before getting up and reaching out a hand towards me, silently telling me to get up as well.

I should have run away. I should have screamed at the others to warn them.

But I was in shock and all I could focus on was to get answers to my question. So I grabbed her hand and let her help me up. She casually walked back into the room, and I couldn’t do anything other than follow her.

Maybe I could convince her to surrender herself without a fight? Maybe I could talk some sense into her.

I was probably the only one who could at this point on.

“Mikasa, why didn’t you just tell me? Why go to such extreme length?!”

She had already pulled on shorts and was in the middle of taking on a dark green shirt. She shrugged at me as she started to button it.

No answer.

“You’re telling me that you’ve hated them for all these years, but now is the time you choose to do something about it? That’s so fucked up, Mika! We would have gone our separate ways eventually!”

“Oh please, Eren. They’d always be in your life, and you’d let them hurt you again. You don’t know better,” She shook her head in disapproval of me. “You’ve never taken care of yourself, I’ve always had to do that. You’re my little brother, right? You’re my responsibility,”

I felt anger rise up within me at her words. I wasn’t a helpless little child. It felt like she had brainwashed herself into believing that she was the only one who could protect me, and that wasn’t true.

“I am not!”

“See? Even now, all you can do is throw a temper tantrum. Listen Eren,” She walked over to grab one of my hands. “I don’t mind getting my hands dirty for you, Eren.”

I stared down at her hands with widened eyes. Those hands had killed seven of my best friends. Seven people who would never get to see the light of day again. Their lives had been taken because of a mindless obsession over… Me?

Without me even doing anything, she had made me an accomplice to her murders. I was just as guilty as she was, I realized.

“N-No…” My voice came out hoarse and defeated as I pulled away from her, my hands shaking. “Mikasa, you’ve lost it… You’re acting like a fucking psychopath…”

“I don’t care,” She calmly looked at me as I backed away from her. She looked like she had complete control over the situation, which only made me feel more helpless.

She knew damn well that I would never be able to do anything to hurt her.

“If you truly care about me, then why did you put me through this hell?! You’ve done nothing but terrorize me for the last 24 hours! I’ve been scared out of my damn mind!”

“24 hours are nothing compared to what you’ve been through these last three years!” She retorted, finally with some sort of emotion swelling up inside of her. “Eren, you’ve been through so much! I’m just trying to help you!”

“Help me?” I scoffed, slapping her hand away as she tried to reach out for my hands a second time. “You haven’t helped me! If anything, you’re the one who has hurt me the most!”

Mikasa’s movements stopped as she widened her eyes at me. She looked shocked, as if she couldn’t comprehend the words I had spoken.

“Wh-What…?”

“That’s right! Right now, you’re the worst out of everyone!”

She stared at me for a long while as she listened to what I had said. Like she was processing my every word. She then looked around the room and went to pick up her bloodied, dirty shirt.

Before I could register what had happened, I was on the floor, with Mikasa on top of me. She had a firm grip on my wrists, trying to pull them together.

I immediately knew what her intentions were.

“N-No!” I screamed as I started trashing around, trying to get her to release her grip. Fuck, how was she so strong?

“Don’t fight it, Eren.” She hissed at me, and I could hear in her voice that she was struggling too. At least I wasn’t easy to pin down. Or maybe it was just because she didn’t want to hurt me more than she had to?

“P-Please, Mikasa!” I yelled at her. I was about to continue my pleading when she suddenly placed a knee to my spine and lightly pressed down. I let out a pained gasp and from the second my body froze up to process the pain that had rushed through my body, she had already tied together my wrists with the fabric.

“It’s them, isn’t it? They’ve already brainwashed you… Making you think I’m the bad guy…” She murmured as she tied tight knots together. “I’ll get rid of them… Until there’s no one left…”

It sounded more like she was talking to herself than to me. Even when I started pleading with her, begging her to stop, she ignored my calls.

How could I not have seen this coming? How could I not have known?

“Eren, shush. Stop fighting it. I don’t want to hurt you.”

She got up when she was satisfied and left me on the floor. I rolled onto my side, staring up at her.

“Please! You don’t have to do this! I-I’ll do anything, please! I’ll cut contact with them and I won’t tell them it was you, j-just don’t hurt them!”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” She eyed me.

My heart started beating faster as I looked into her eyes. There was no remorse, nothing. I realized then that there was nothing I could say to make her change her mind. There was nothing more I could do, other than…

I opened my mouth to scream but she had already clasped her hands over my mouth to muffle the sound as I tried screaming out the names of my friends. I tried biting down into her hand, but she was too quick, and had already stuffed my mouth with the towel. Tears formed in my mouth as I choked out the last efforts of a scream.

“God damn it, Eren! I really don’t want to knock you out!” Mikasa let out a groan as she ran her fingers through her hair. “You’re making this so difficult. Why can’t you just behave?!”

She got up again and rushed out of the room, only to came back a few seconds later, carrying Bertholt’s body by his arms. She dropped him with a _thud_ and then placed herself in the doorway.

“I’ll be back soon. Just… Stay still, okay? Don’t try anything. You’ll only hurt yourself.” Her eyes pleaded with me and I only stared back at her with fiery eyes. In that moment, I felt nothing but hate towards my sister. Her face dropped in a sigh as she understood the feelings I were conveying through my eyes, but she didn’t respond.

And that’s when I heard footsteps of someone running.

“Mikasa!” Someone called out. Sounded like Sasha. “What’s going on? I was on my way to the bathroom when I heard something… Is everything okay?”

I immediately started panicking as I saw Mikasa slowly walking out into the hallway to greet Sasha.

“Everything’s alright. Eren had a little meltdown again, but Bertholt’s just calming him down now. We should probably let them be for a little while…”

I tried so hard to scream. I tried so hard to warn Sasha, hoping that she would be able to hear me, but only muffled sounds came out of my mouth before I once more started choking on the towel. When I realized that it was to no use, I used my legs instead to kick at the floor and furniture around me to make noise.

“U-Um… Are you sure? It sounds like…”

_Thump._

Sasha never got to finish her sentence. I stopped moving as I tried to hear what was going on in the hallway, but all I could hear was a grim and loud _snap_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was hard to convey Mikasa's reasons for turning out like this. I hope I made it somewhat understandable. We all know that she's very protective of Eren and wants him to have only the best. I wrote the fic with it in mind that those feelings Mikasa harbor for Eren can end up on the edge of irrational actions. She'll go to any lengths to protect him, even if it means killing his friends.   
> In Mikasa's mind, no one will ever be good enough for Eren. Everyone will eventually hurt him. That's why she decided to off them.
> 
> I hope I'm making sense.


	18. I'm No Coward

3.5 hours until rescue.

There had been no indication of a fight.

_That’s what happens when it’s someone you know,_ my brain explained. _If it’s a stranger, you’ll see their intentions a mile away. You’ll be on guard. But Sasha knows Mikasa… She’d never suspect a thing._

She wouldn’t expect a thing until it was too late. Would that be the same with everyone else? Would they go quietly as well, never even get the time to comprehend the fact that it was their friend who had been trying to kill them all this time?

Mikasa already had the advantage. It had seemingly only been Reiner who had managed to put up a fight against her, and even then, she had still managed to take him down.

I tried to let out a helpless cry as I thought of the people waiting down in the living room. Hanji, Erwin, _Levi_ …

No.

Had he woken up yet, or would she just end up slaughtering him in his unconscious state?

I refused to let that happen. I couldn’t just lie here, helpless, while she killed off everyone. I had to do something.

Full of determination, I eyed the room for sharp objects that would be able to cut me loose. There was none, of course, but I couldn’t let that discourage me now. I pushed myself up on my knees with difficulty, only to remember that Bertholt may have had something on him. Wouldn’t he have taken something with him for protecting when he and Sasha had gone down to the basement to check out the fuse box?

I hurried my way over to his body and used my feet to feel around his pockets.

There it was. Something hard in his left pocket, that undoubtedly felt like a pocketknife. I let out a muffled groan as I sat down with my back to him, trying to get my tied-up hands to reach it. I breathed out through my nose in relief as I got a hold of it and popped open the knife.

It took me at least five minutes before I had mastered the technique of cutting through the fabric in the awkward position that I was in. Several times I accidentally dropped the knife through the process, but in the end, I managed to cut loose. I quickly pulled out the towel, and saliva ran down my chin as I started coughing. It felt like I had to throw up.

I had to move, and I had to do it fast. I kept the knife in my hand as I ran out of the room, not at all expecting the sight before me as I got out into the hallway. Sasha’s looked like someone had dropped a puppet in strings on the floor. Her limbs bent in a strange way as they sprawled across the floor. But there was no blood to be seen.

And that’s when I noticed her neck. It was bent too far, and it looked too unnatural on Sasha’s body.

I should have been sad, or shocked, but all I could feel was the emotions of fury and anger and frustration that rolled through my body and consumed everything inside of me. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt like this.

Even if Mikasa would succeed, I was never going to let her get away with this. Did she really expect me to keep quiet when it was only the two of us left in the house by tomorrow? When Connie and Jean came back with the police, I would rat her out immediately, family or not.

What she had done, and what she was planning on doing, all of it was unforgivable.

I rushed through the hallway, jumping over Sasha’s body, ignoring the stabbing pain in my ribs, and entered the kitchen.

“Mikasa?!” I called out her name desperately. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes since she had left me. How much damage could she had done in that time?

She didn’t have to hide any longer, so she had all the reason to go berserk now. Would it even be possible to stop her anymore? The way our conversation ended made me believe that she would only try to kill them quicker now. More painfully.

I also knew that she would probably try to get to Levi immediately. Or was he her cherry on top? The most satisfying kill of them all? Would she wait until she had killed off everyone else before taking his life?

I couldn’t let that happen.

I was about to start moving again when I heard someone let out a small cough.

“E-Eren…”

I jumped in sheer surprise, before looking around the kitchen to find whoever had said my name. At first it was eerily quiet, but then my ears pick up on the sound of an unsteady breathing.

I found Erwin behind the counter, sitting up against the oven with his head hanging low. He looked drained of energy. His arms hung lifeless beside his body, his right arm drenched in blood. It was full of stab wounds.

“F-Fuck, Erwin, are you okay?” I gasped as I fell to my knees to study his wounds closer.

“… I-It’s… _urgh—”_ Erwin coughed again, blood seeping out of the corner of his mouth. I knew what he wanted to tell me though.

“I know. She killed Bertholt and Sasha and tied me up… God, I’m so s-sorry Erwin, this is all my fault…” My voice broke as I stared at him. Erwin slowly tilted his head upwards until he could rest the back of his head against the oven behind him. His eyes were only partially open, as if he couldn’t even muster enough strength to do such a simple thing.

“Don’t blame yourself, Eren. Y-You couldn’t p-possibly have known…”

I shook my head, before staring down at his torso. Fuck, it wasn’t just his arm. Now I understood better why he was so drained of energy – another stab wound right in his side. The pool of blood was growing larger beneath him.

“Fuck, I need to stop the bleeding.” I quickly managed to grab an unused piece of cloth from one of the drawers and pressed it against the wound. Erwin winced in pain, before slowly reaching over with his healthy arm to place his hand on top of mine.

“D-Don’t…” His words barely made it out through his mouth. “I’m already a goner… You need to go after them. Don’t w-waste your time on me…”

I shook my head, furious at his words. He was still alive! He still had a chance, god damn it!

As if he had heard my thoughts, he sent me a comforting smile.

“E-Eren… You need to listen t-to me.” He let out another cough and some of the blood splayed over my neck and shirt. I didn’t even notice it. “She tried attacking me, but Hanji came in and surprised her. She got her right in the eye, f-fuck… But Hanji didn’t go down like she thought. So I managed to grab a hold of her for Hanji to get away… You need to go after them. Help Hanji, she’s not a l-lost cause like me…”

He had sacrificed himself for the sake of Hanji and Levi? All of this, just to give them a chance? Tears filled my eyes as I stared at the dying man before me.

“You’re one of the bravest guys I’ve ever known.” I tried to ignore the intense need to cry as I stared at him through glassy eyes. “I’m proud to call you my friend.”

These were farewell words. Erwin let out a shaky breath before using the last of his strength to muster up a gentle smile.

“Thank you, Eren. Now, please… Hurry.”

I placed his limp hand over the cloth before getting up. Without another word I rushed out into the living room, only to find it empty. Blood was pumping loudly in my ears as I noticed the trail of red spots on the ground that lead out through the terrace door that had been left open. I bolted straight out of it without hesitation, the knife still in my hand.

“MIKASA!” I screamed into the cold, dead air, trying to figure out where they were. The morning sun had started to rise, which meant that I now finally had the advantage of sight once again. I followed the trail of blood for as long as I could before my ears started picking up the sound of voices.

All three of them were in a small clearing, Hanji steadying herself up against a tree with a hand over half of her face, while Levi and Mikasa were standing in front of each other, both in a fighting stance.

“-must be a fucking idiot if you think I’ll let you get away with this,” I could hear Levi sneering at her. None of them had noticed me yet, too caught up in their conversation.

“I can’t wait to see you try,” Mikasa hissed at her, her brows furrowed in anger. “It’s going to be so good to finally be rid of you. You pest,”

“Fuck you,” Levi spat out, his hands turning into clenched fists. “You’re sick, you know that, right?”

“I’m just protecting Eren from you. How is that wrong?”

God, Mikasa actually believed every word she said. She truly thought that she was only doing this in my best interest – which only made the whole situation scarier. How far would she go?

I had never gotten far enough to actually bandage her wounds, some of which had reopened and were staining her shirt, though she paid no mind to it yet. She looked tired though, which made my brotherly instincts worry. Even though she looked more than ready to fight Levi, she had still been weakened by her blood loss. I felt a mix of relief and sadness at that thought.

Levi, on the other hand, was looking just as tired. He was probably still woozy and disoriented from being kicked in the head and fallen unconscious. Possibly suffering from a concussion. Both of them were strong, but at the same time both of them had been weakened in some way.

It was impossible for me to figure out which one would win in a fight, though I hoped it wouldn’t get that far once I intervened.

“Mikasa!” I spoke out, trying to sound as calm and collected as I could as I approached them. All three’s heads snapped in my direction and they all seemed surprised to see me.

“Wha—” Mikasa’s arms fell beside her in surprise as she stared at me with an open mouth. “Fuck, Eren! I knew I should have made you unconscious!” She breathed out in frustration.

I was about to answer her when Levi suddenly jumped forward and threw himself at a distracted Mikasa. He managed to grab her knife and throw it away, before Mikasa started fighting back. I took a step back in surprise at the sudden drama before me. My eyes almost couldn’t keep up with their movements as they both tried to either tackle each other to the ground or hit each other.

They were actually fighting for their lives right now, and that thought terrified the shit out of me.

Levi managed to hit her several times in the ribs and her chest, whereas Mikasa got him twice in the face and between the legs. Immediately after doing the latter, she took a step back, only to lunge forward with her right leg swinging at him. Levi barely managed to dodge her with his arms, but the hit had still made him falter in his stance. He stumbled backwards and when his foot hit the ground, he winced, and I heard him hiss in pain.

Fuck.

Mikasa noticed immediately as she took no time to close the distance between them and land a third hit in his face before he could manage to pull up his arms again. That was the final hit that knocked Levi over, and I could only hold my breath and watch as she straddled his torso and pushed her knees over his arms. Levi growled at her, but her hands had already wrapped themselves around his neck and was preventing him from speaking.

“STOP!” I screamed at her as I raised up the knife in my hand. This was exactly what I refused to let happen. I couldn’t let her kill Levi, not while I could still do something about it.

There wasn’t enough time to run over there and try stopping her. There was only one thing that would stop Mikasa now, and I knew exactly what that was.

“Stop, or I’ll kill myself.”

I tried to keep my hand steady as I held the knife right over my outstretched arm. The pointy end of the knife was right at my wrist were my veins were showing. I knew exactly what I had to do if it came to it. Straight down, vertically. Follow the veins. Otherwise it wouldn’t work as I intended.

“Eren, _no_!” Mikasa shrieked, immediately breaking out in a panic. “You’re willing to kill yourself for this fucker?!”

My eyes flickered to Levi, whose face was turning blue.

“Loosen your grip or I’ll do it. I swear to god,”

She reluctantly did what I said, but her hands did not remove themselves from his neck entirely. I gritted my teeth at her stubbornness.

“You’ve made me an accomplice against my will,” I started out with a shaky breath. “Perhaps you don’t feel the guilt weighing on your shoulders, but I do. And I refuse to suffer under it.”

“Eren, no! This is all me!” Mikasa retorted, her face twisting in pain as she looked at me. She seemed like she was truly horrified at the thought of me being hurt because of this. “Levi’s the last one, I swear. And then you’ll be free!”

“Free from what?” I scoffed at her. “Free from the guilt? Because I’ll never be able to escape that,”

“Eren, these are all my actions! And this will be my last one, I promise you. I’ll even let Hanji-”

“You will not harm him in a-any way!” I suddenly yelled at her, fire flaring up inside of me at the thought of her even removing a hair on his head. “I-I…”

She looked at me and instantly noticed the hesitant shake in my voice. It seemed like it calmed her down slightly, which wasn’t my intention.

“You’re not going to do it,” She suddenly spoke with a voice full of confidence, smiling at me. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to. Don’t scare me like that again, Eren.”

I looked at her one last time, before raising my hand. She didn’t think I meant business? I’d show her exactly how serious I was. This was my final chance to show her that I was serious. And the last chance to prove to myself that I wasn’t a coward after all.

“I’d rather die than let you get away with what you’ve done,”

“ _No no no NO!”_

Mikasa threw herself towards me as I slid the knife through my arm, slicing me open. It was harder than I originally thought. I had once read that we were capable of biting off our own fingers as if they were carrots, but that we were unable to because of something in our brain. Perhaps that same part of my brain was stopping me now from cutting all the way through?

I winced in pain as I pressed the knife further in. No pain would stop me now.


	19. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, so you thought I would just end the whole story with killing Eren? Fear not, another chapter is here!

3 hours until rescue.

Everything happened fast after that.

Mikasa had thrown herself off of Levi and had tried to stumble onto her feet to reach me, but Levi had been quicker. He had grabbed her foot and pulled her back, and when I fell to my knees, he had already jumped on top of her, forcing her down.

“ _ EREN _ !” Mikasa screamed, sounding as if she was in pure agony as she thrashed under Levi’s grip.

“I should kill you right now,” Levi growled at her as he grabbed hold of her arms and forced them behind her. She choked on her words as she gasped out in pain when he pulled her arms higher up than what was necessary.

“L-Levi… Don’t,” I pleaded with him, barely keeping myself conscious as I stared at them through cloudy eyes.

“Why?” He sneered at me. “Eren, you can’t be serious. She killed Erwin! She killed everyone! Look at us – we’re all that’s left!”

I stared at Hanji’s body that had sagged against the tree, lifeless. Her arms had fallen down beside her, revealing the gaping hole in her face where her right eye once was. My eyes darted back to Levi and Mikasa on the ground. She was lying still for now, as she had realized she could do nothing.

“Exactly – We’re all that’s left. So don’t make that number smaller than it already is…”

Levi shook his head in disappointment.

“T-Tie her up… Until Connie and Jean—” I didn’t have the strength to finish my own sentence. I collapsed, falling onto my side. I suddenly felt so tired. All I wanted now was sleep, to close my eyes and let it all go.

It was over now, wasn’t it? I didn’t need to fight any longer. I had done my duty. I had saved Levi – and hopefully Hanji’s and Mikasa’s lives as well.

Just as I was about to give in, someone’s hands were on my shoulders, shaking me violently.

“Eren?! You stupid idiot, wake up!”

God, my eyelids felt so heavy. I didn’t want to open them just yet. Why couldn’t they just let me sleep already?

“Fuck, don’t you  _ dare _ leave me now!”

A sharp pain brought me back immediately and my head jolted up to see what had happened. Levi was on his knees in front of me, his knuckles grinding on my collarbone which had brought me back temporarily. His other hand was placed on my arm, a fabric on it to try and stop the bleeding.

“That hurt!” I gasped.

Levi looked at me, his whole face changing from an expression of worry to an expression of relief as our eyes met.

“E-Eren…” He whispered, his hand cupping my face hesitantly. I leaned into his touch and let out a shaky sigh. “You’re going to be alright. I’m not going to let you die,”

At this moment, I didn’t care about dying.

“Y-You know what…? Someone once told me that being brave meant taking a step forward even when you don’t want to. I’ve prided myself on being b-brave all my life, yet I’ve hesitated every time it mattered most… But I finally took m-my step, Levi…” I took a deep breath before smiling weakly at him. “I won’t regret this… I’ll embrace it,”

Levi let out an irritated scoff but nevertheless I still noticed how his eyes turned glassy.

“Do you… D-Do you hate me?” I whispered, my voice cracking as I looked at him nervously. I wanted to close my eyes again, but I first needed to hear his answer. That was the only thing that mattered to me now.

“How could you possibly think that?” He whispered as he closed the distance between us. “Do you really think I could hate you so easily?”

“B-But… I betrayed you…” I murmured as I reached over with my other arm to clutch his shirt. “I thought that you w-were…” I didn’t want to finish my sentence. I still felt awful about what had went down inside the house.  


“Hush. I don’t care about that now. None of it matters anymore,” Levi leaned over to place his forehead against mine. I exhaled slowly as I finally closed my eyes to let myself enjoy his touch.

“L-Levi…” I sighed his name.

“Yes?”

“I-I…”

I lost consciousness before I could finish the sentence.

2.5 hours until rescue - Levi’s POV

I screamed at him and tried to shake him awake once more, but it was no longer possible to pull him out of his unconscious state.

“Fuck..” I muttered under my breath as I quickly moved my focus to his wrist. He had really done an ugly job. The cut was several inches long and bleeding profusely. The blood had already soaked through the fabric that I had wrapped around his arm. I tore a larger piece from my already torn shirt and quickly wrapped it around as tightly as I could. I proceeded to do the same, only this time I wrapped a piece around his upper arm to stop the blood from streaming down any further.

“What is going on with him?! Is he alive?!” Mikasa screamed at me, still lying on the ground, tied up. I glared at her in anger.

“Shut your mouth, bitch.” I hissed at her before standing up.

I suddenly realized that we were outside, and though the sun was up, the warmth of it had not quite reached us yet. I couldn’t leave him outside like this, or the chances of him surviving would become smaller by the minutes.

“Hanji! Can you stand?” I yelled out at my best friend who had stayed quiet for far too long. God, how was I supposed to get all three of them inside with a possibly broken ankle? I had to make decisions, and I had to make them fast. Should I drag Mikasa back first to make sure she wouldn’t escape, or should I bring in either Eren or Hanji, both of them losing too much blood too quickly?

“Fuck…” I hissed under my breath as I dragged my tired body over to Hanji’s side. I checked her vitals and was relieved when I felt the weak  _ thump thump thump  _ under my fingertips. It was barely there, but at least she was alive. For now.

“Hanji! Can you hear me? I need you wake up, you shitty four eyes!” I cursed at her as I tried to give her shoulders a few shakes. Well, technically now I couldn't really call her *four* eyes anymore ...  


_ Please wake up. Please.  _ I couldn’t do this on my own.

“So noisy…” Hanji muttered under her breath before letting out a low groan. “I-I liked you better when you didn’t s-say much…”

I was too relieved to come up with a snappy reply, so I settled for a hug instead.

“Fuck, I thought I lost you there for a sec’.” I sighed before pulling away. ”Can you stand? I need to get Eren inside. The idiot cut his wrists open,”

“Wh-What?!” Hanji looked up at me with her only good eye, before reaching out a hand to me. “H-Help me up. I think I can make it back to the house on my own…”

“Good girl,” I helped her stand and threw her arm over my shoulder to help her walk over to Eren. We both ignored Mikasa’s desperate cries of Eren’s name as we headed over to him.

“I’m going to carry him,” I announced before letting go of Hanji and bending down to pick Eren’s limp body off the ground. I made sure to place his bad arm around my shoulders, making sure that it was as high up as it could possibly be. The blood would be less likely to try pumping itself through his arm that way.

“A-Alright, let’s go.” I huffed.

The brat was heavier than I thought and I had to stop several times in order to breathe. My ankle was killing me, but for now I had to ignore it. If damaging it permanently and having a limp for the rest of my life meant saving Eren, then I would have no problem with it.

He was all that mattered right now.

We made it inside and I immediately placed him on the living room table.

“Hanji, can you get the med kit for Eren? I need to deal with Mikasa,”

Hanji nodded, and for a moment I felt bad for handing out orders left and right for her. She was probably using all her strength just to keep on her feet.

But she made no protests or excuses and only hurried off to find what we needed, while I used the time to drag Mikasa inside by her legs. She was screaming curses at me the whole way, but at least she wasn’t putting up much of a fight.

It was probably because she didn’t mind me dragging her back to Eren, which was apparently the only person she cared about right at the moment. Not that I couldn’t relate, but still. I still felt an overwhelming need to put a fist right in her face and knock her out, but leaving her unconscious outside wasn’t a good idea at the moment. Even though I wanted to hurt her I still refused to stoop to her level.

Killing wasn't an option.

I would tie her up inside and wait for the police to take her into custody. She would be put away in jail forever, never able to see Eren ever again. I wanted to hurt her as much as possible.  


And to Mikasa, that was probably a fate worse than death.

When I had finished tying up her feet, then her hands to the radiator in the living room and placed tape over her mouth to stop her from frantically screaming and yelling at Eren, I was finally satisfied enough to move my focus back to Eren. Hanji had already used the med kit to properly bandage his arm so when I arrived at the table there was really nothing more for me to do for Eren.

“Let me help you,” I instead told Hanji, who had begun struggling with the rest of the bandages to tie around her head to cover up her own wound.

“Thanks,” Hanji breathed out and I couldn’t help but notice how she had to hold onto the table in order to keep standing.

“Sit down,”

I pushed a chair into the back of her knees and forced her down, before starting to properly wrap the bandages around her head from the beginning. She had done a terrible job.

“It’s finally over…” Hanji muttered after a few moments of silence. I let out a low hum in response, not really in the mood to talk yet.

It wouldn’t be over until Eren and Hanji was resting comfortably in hospital beds and Mikasa had been locked up in a cramped old cell that smelled like pee and dried up puke.

“I just c-can’t believe Erwin is…” Hanji placed a hand over her mouth to muffle a sob that had escaped her lips.

I could still remember him screaming out in pain from the kitchen as Hanji had pulled me out of my sleepy state. She had been talking gibberish at the time, but I had still picked up on the important words that managed to come out of her mouth. Words such as “Mikasa… The killer,” and “Erwin - Sacrificed himself”, etc.

“I can’t believe Mikasa actually managed to fool all of us,” I growled. I couldn’t mourn the loss of my friend just yet – I was still too angry at the person taking his life. “She played the good, innocent sister while stabbing everyone in the back. And for what? I don’t get it.”

“I heard Eren outside before I passed out…” Hanji spoke. “He said that Mikasa had made him an accomplice against his will. What do you think he meant by that?”

I thought about it as I stared at Mikasa who only had her eyes on Eren at the moment. It was as if she worried he would disappear into thin air if she looked away for more than a second.

“She’s obviously obsessed with him. Maybe in her twisted mind she thought she was doing him a favor? In her eyes we’re probably all just a bad influence on this fucker.” I said as I eyed Eren.

He looked so young and innocent as he lay there in front of me. He didn’t deserve any of this shit and if he managed to survive this, the mental scars would be even worse than the one on his arm.

Did I want to stay by his side when all of this was over?

“She’s the only bad influence here,” Hanji scoffed. “I hope she rots in hell,”

“Oh, she will. We’ll make sure of that,” I nodded as I placed a hand on Hanji’s shoulder when I had finished bandaging her head. “She’ll pay for this,”

Hanji leaned back in her chair and rested the back of her head against my chest. I caressed her head gently as she closed her eye.

“I really want to sleep now,” Hanji let out a sigh.

“If you sleep now, you might never wake up again.” I reprimanded her.

“I know, I know…” Hanji forced her eye open to look up at me. “Distract me, please? While we wait.”

I looked at my watch. If we were lucky, they’d be here in about an hour. If we weren’t lucky, we might be stuck here for several more.

But one hour of distraction was something I’d be able to do.

30 minutes until rescue.

We had talked about everything that didn’t even remotely involve anything that had happened the last 24 hours. We talked about our shitty part time jobs at home, about Hanji’s weird ass family and my plans to get a cat. The only thing we had discussed about the situation we were in were how ugly Hanji was going to look with her fucked up eye  _ when _ it would heal up. We ignored the word  _ if _ .

I tried my hardest to ignore how pale she had become.

We had done everything in our power not to dwell on the thought that we we’re the last ones. That our future would no longer contain Erwin, or anyone else for that matter. It would just hurt too much to think about.

But Hanji’s curiosity finally got the best of her, and she couldn’t contain her questions for any longer.

“I know it’s fucked up to ask about your romantic life in this situation, but what will happen between you and Eren?”

“What do you mean?” I averted her gaze to look at Eren. The room had gone quiet as Mikasa had finally fallen asleep.  _ It must be so demanding and tough to kill people _ , I thought to myself sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.

“Well… He thought you were, well, Mikasa. He had been so convinced that you were the killer. That must have made you feel… Well…” She didn’t technically know how that had made me feel, but she was trying to lure out the words from my mouth. Hanji never truly knew what I was thinking, after all. Nobody did, even though she was probably the only one who came closest.

She was my best friend after all, even if I didn’t care to admit it to her.

“I felt betrayed at first, but…” I shook my head and pointed at my temple. “Your brain has a way of fucking with you when you’re in a shitty situation.”

“So you don’t blame him?”

“How can I? The kid’s been shitting his pants all day. He even had a panic attack when we found out about the cars. Hell, he was the first one to find several bodies before we had the chance to. That must have really messed him up,”

“I don’t understand how you can be so… Calm and understandable?” Hanji shook her head as she stared at me. “I was so angry at him when he started accusing you. I couldn’t believe how he could think so low of you. I thought he liked you more than that,”

“It doesn’t matter how much he liked me.” I said as I crossed my legs and placed a hand on Eren’s to caress it gently. We were still sitting by the table where he lay. “I think he would still have come to that conclusion no matter how much he liked me or not. The mind can really play tricks on you when there’s nothing fueling you other than fear.”

“I don’t get you, Levi.” Hanji looked at Eren for a short while, before eyeing me again. “Or maybe you refuse to hate him for it because you like him too much?”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at her.

“I-I do not!”

Damn it, why did my voice have to break right at that moment?

Hanji grinned at me as excuses and arguments started pouring out of me, but we didn’t continue with the discussion as something else had suddenly claimed our attention.

The sound of gravel popping against tires.

_ Finally. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close to the end now. The next chapter might be the last, if it can fit everything.   
> I've got some fun ideas for a sequel, but I'm not sure yet if I wanna pursue that. 
> 
> Lemme know if you'd be interested in reading more about our fucked up traumatized boys!


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